Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Hahaha. He was having a great day chasing everything until he found something too big to chase. Maybe he will think twice the next time now that he knows what being afraid feels like!! Good lesson for children. mikey

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hello Ine,

SO glad to see a post from you. Hope your health is getting better.

This is a sweet, carefree children's story. I could see it illustrated in a book.

May I suggest that you leave a line space between the lines? It might be easier on the eye and more inviting to the reader.

Keep well, my dear.

Love,

Sonali xxx

and (scatter) the corn on the ground

Nikki tries to (stop) her(,) (but) Roxy

chickens are everywhere(,) chased by Roxy

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

A very cute story about an excited dog running loose on a farm and causing haver with cat, chickens, and sheep. But not the cow. Oh no, not the cow. Good story.

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 25-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

The cow won't be intimidated, but the bull will chase the dog. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

reply by c_lucas on 24-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Ine. Charlie

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

A lovely bedtime story I will tell it to the grandchildren. A wonderful experience for children to have time on the farm to see nature in it true from.

Well done Robing keep writing your lovely stories.

Mary

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Another neat and reinforcing photograph. I guess Roxie learned her lesson! (I think "scatter" in line 8 picked up an "ed" by mistake, since everything else is in present tense.) I am enjoying the continuing adventures of Douglas and Nikki. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

This is a lighthearted tale about two children and heir dog, Roxy, on farmer Peter's farm. Of course, I don't have to tell you that as you wrote it. I was a bit confused in the middle there a bit. I'll show you the lines that had me a bit miffed...

"Shortly after the chickens, Roxy sees the sheep. The same happens again, barking loudly he follows them too.
She really enjoys herself. She feels like the queen of the farm.
The she sees Lefka, the cat. With growls and barking he goes for the chase."

This "she", who is it, Robin? By previous accounts, Roxy is a male dog. But the inference to a female is made several times here. Is it Bella the cow that's observing all of this activity?

I'm a little confused about that portion of this short children's bedtime story.

Other than that, I saw no punctuation or spelling errors, except that you left off the "N" in this sentence.--- "The she sees Lefka, the cat."

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

reply by Dean Kuch on 23-Jun-2014

U2

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

HI Ine, very nice told story...and I see Roxy got in on it...LOL...I love Roxy scaring the chickens....next time he will have to be quiet...I love it and look forward to reading to other chapters...Luff Linda xxoo love

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from amada

Excellent

This was real cute Ine. That Roxy got a lesson, someone bigger than her! This is a cute bedtime story with a moral as well. Nice

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from Carole Rosa

Excellent

Robina, This is a nice children's story. In my opinion, you should break it up with paragraphs. I noticed the following spags. Carole

"farmer Peter. Peter" (I wonder if you should reconstruct the sentence, so that two PETER'S aren't together.)

"The she sees Lefka" (I think you meant to say 'THEN' instead of 'THE') ""MOO," (too many quote marks)

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine