Reviews from

Expressing Myself

Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Birth of Night Beckons"
Writing my way out of depression / mental illness

8 total reviews 
Comment from LoannaLois
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow this one ia so romantic.It says so much in the first sentence! Sunset as the birth of night is original and astute! I love it.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement!!
Comment from Smoothiecool
Excellent
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good luck in the contest

your syllable count spot on

your few words allow the reader to see and feel the fireflies in the night and hear the crickets song

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
    Thank you smoothiecool, for this kind and encouraging review!
reply by Smoothiecool on 22-Jun-2014
    welcome..SC
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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this is very beautiful...I love the wording...the night time lights up the sky with music...very nicely written...and the picture is perfect...

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    thank you raven, for this kind and encouraging review!
reply by l.raven on 21-Jun-2014
    you are so welcome...xxoo
reply by l.raven on 22-Jun-2014
    you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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Your tiny verse captures the mood well and the picture reinforces it. The use of alliteration and the strong satori line add to the poem's intensity. Best wishes to us both in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    Thank you Joan, for this kind and detailed review. I feel encouraged to write more. Have a great weekend!
Comment from Oz Harte
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Exceptional work. Although you used personification by converting the cricket's chirp to a song for two, this adds a sense of beauty and poignancy to the writing. Well done.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much Oz Harte, for this kind and encouraging review! I am honored by the six stars!!
Comment from Jean Lutz
Excellent
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Very romantic. And the color and artwork are perfect compliment. Even the flowers are probably fresh-picked wild flowers. Best wishes with the entry.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much Jean, for this kind and encouraging review!
Comment from NurseBarb
Excellent
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Sweet 5-3-5 Lune poem. Looks like a possible upcoming proposal to the love of his life? Creative line "crickets sing for two". Really like this one.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    Thank you so much NurseBarb, for this kind and encouraging review, so glad you liked it!!
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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This uses excellent concrete natural imagery to bring this romantic scene to life. I can just see and hear the fireflies and the crickets at sundown. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014

reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
    Thank you Jeanie, for this kind and encouraging review!