Bedtime stories
Viewing comments for Prologue "First story"Many bedtime stories for children.
21 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I don't know how these snuck by me but I had to start with the first.
Nicely done and great small reads for children
Easy to understand
very well done
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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I don't know how these snuck by me but I had to start with the first.
Nicely done and great small reads for children
Easy to understand
very well done
Comment Written 15-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2015
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Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a lovely week.
Comment from michaelcahill
I'm glad I went back to check. I read this and forgot to review! This is a great beginning to what looks like it is going to be a lot of fun to read. I think this is the first story of yours I have read. You have a nice easy to read style that draws me in. Makes me want to get a cup of coffee and enjoy! mikey
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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I'm glad I went back to check. I read this and forgot to review! This is a great beginning to what looks like it is going to be a lot of fun to read. I think this is the first story of yours I have read. You have a nice easy to read style that draws me in. Makes me want to get a cup of coffee and enjoy! mikey
Comment Written 25-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine
Comment from RGstar
This has such a nice feel about it, innocent and warm, I thought not to spoil it with suggestions of edit so glad it made me feel. It was as if entering the secret world of a child once again, safe, protected and warm A time that many of us have lost forever.
Lovely.
Best wishes, and have a great day,
RG
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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This has such a nice feel about it, innocent and warm, I thought not to spoil it with suggestions of edit so glad it made me feel. It was as if entering the secret world of a child once again, safe, protected and warm A time that many of us have lost forever.
Lovely.
Best wishes, and have a great day,
RG
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine
Comment from sunnilicious
The early birds are the troublemakers indeed. Awweee... they should have been allowed to stay up for New Years. Well, they got amused with the book. And at least they got some nuts to munch. Good work.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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The early birds are the troublemakers indeed. Awweee... they should have been allowed to stay up for New Years. Well, they got amused with the book. And at least they got some nuts to munch. Good work.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine
Comment from Cumbrianlass
A good start, Ine! Well done.
A few things to look at:
They walk towards the calendar()that Mum had bought them a while ago. - delete comma
Douglas says,"(R)eally very nice." - capitalize 'r'
"Do we have to wait that long till we can see the next picture?()" Douglas asks. - delete comma
(")Certainly less than year(,") his sister answers. - suggest changing this to dialogue for better clarity and flow.
"Do we also get up early then?()" Douglas asks. - delete comma
Hugs,
Av
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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A good start, Ine! Well done.
A few things to look at:
They walk towards the calendar()that Mum had bought them a while ago. - delete comma
Douglas says,"(R)eally very nice." - capitalize 'r'
"Do we have to wait that long till we can see the next picture?()" Douglas asks. - delete comma
(")Certainly less than year(,") his sister answers. - suggest changing this to dialogue for better clarity and flow.
"Do we also get up early then?()" Douglas asks. - delete comma
Hugs,
Av
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a great and blessed Sunday, Ine . Thanks for the tips.
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a lovely story of little children talking to each other and asking questions. I could hear the little voices, and it reminded me of listening to conversations I would listen to when my kids were small.
Typical scene of the morning after a new year eve party, with the left over nuts and crisps, and the green bottles of course.
Well done
Mary
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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This is a lovely story of little children talking to each other and asking questions. I could hear the little voices, and it reminded me of listening to conversations I would listen to when my kids were small.
Typical scene of the morning after a new year eve party, with the left over nuts and crisps, and the green bottles of course.
Well done
Mary
Comment Written 22-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a great and blessed Sunday, Ine
Comment from fairy77
How cute Ine:)It's a great first story and very endearing to bad it hadn't been a chocolate calendar:)Loved this and it's well thought out!beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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How cute Ine:)It's a great first story and very endearing to bad it hadn't been a chocolate calendar:)Loved this and it's well thought out!beth fairy77.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a great and blessed Sunday, Ine
Comment from Joan E.
I liked the way you captured the innocence and wonder of children in this short story. I also liked the usage that describes a British or at least European household, with a "lounge/crisps/and Mum". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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I liked the way you captured the innocence and wonder of children in this short story. I also liked the usage that describes a British or at least European household, with a "lounge/crisps/and Mum". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a great and blessed Sunday, Ine
Comment from judiverse
You've done a fine job of gearing this to children with the characters and the dialogue. You've kept consistently in the present tense, which works well. The children are delightful with their impatience and their willingness to share. As typical children, they don't have much sense of time. In your writing, leave spaces between dialogue to make it easier to tell which child is speaking. An interesting beginning. Keep it up. judi
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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You've done a fine job of gearing this to children with the characters and the dialogue. You've kept consistently in the present tense, which works well. The children are delightful with their impatience and their willingness to share. As typical children, they don't have much sense of time. In your writing, leave spaces between dialogue to make it easier to tell which child is speaking. An interesting beginning. Keep it up. judi
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine.
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You're so welcome, ine. Hope you are doing well. judi
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Ine. I'm surprised to see you writing a story. I know how difficult it is for us Dutchies.... You did it very well, you wrote it on the way children think.
Very educating too. Time is difficult to understand for little children and using the calendar for it to explain is a great idea. I look forward to the next chapter. Well done!! Fia
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Hi Ine. I'm surprised to see you writing a story. I know how difficult it is for us Dutchies.... You did it very well, you wrote it on the way children think.
Very educating too. Time is difficult to understand for little children and using the calendar for it to explain is a great idea. I look forward to the next chapter. Well done!! Fia
Comment Written 21-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014
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Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend, Ine.