Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

Hi Dallas! Well, I'm reading all of these entries in Alicia's contest. As a lover of tanka, I am appreciating the brevity of syllable count provided in the description Alicia provided in her contest prompt. Never heard the term "Lunatica" and I'm glad to know the content needn't be about a lunatic but is actually content desired in a tanka. I like the upbeat message here and you've built in some good consonance as well. Interesting art work. I'd suggest enlarging the font and centering the piece LOL! Best of luck in the contest. Sue

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014

For some reason, advance editor will not allow me to enlarge font, but did center. I have had my fill of cancer also, prevalent on both sides. Lost my dad to pancreatic cancer.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thanks for adding the intriguing patterned poem picture. Your short Lunatika says it all! I enjoyed its exuberance and addition of alliteration. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thanks for reviewing and happy weekend. I love that picture, think I've used it in the past.

reply by Joan E. on 20-Jun-2014

You can use the picture again anytime you want! Enjoy the weekend- Joan

reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

I like it too.

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Dear Dallas - Great word imagery in this one, loved your last line. A strong submission - I thought you penned it well, and good luck.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014

Thanks, Maureen. Sometimes up-beat just works well.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

I always sense the wisdom behind your poems, Dallas. You write with both intelligence and a firm grasp of an ability to come up with something fresh and creative. Good luck with this excellent contest entry! :) Bev

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014

Thanks so much, Bev. I bore easily, so I try to not to get stuck too long in one form.

reply by Writingfundimension on 18-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Dallas. I have the same problem :)

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Memories of happy times can remind one to be thankful and joyous to revive a sagging spirit. Good choice of words and imagery to convey your thoughts, super pic and good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Bina1

Excellent

I really like this, I think you are saying even gloomy memories can have a light moment or two to make them easier to cope with. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

thanks for reviewing.

Comment from Zinnia48

Excellent

There is so much that I like about this poem. It's good to give homage to the spontaneous remembering of good times. However, (for me) it has a kind of subdued tone that is contrary to the content. The word "staining" generally has a negative conotation. Gloomy days are already "stained" with whatever circumstances make them gloomy. The same feedback for "un-contained". It's an awfully clinical word for a spontaneous, joyful process. I would be willing to revisit the stars if you feel inclined to tweak this a bit. Thanks for letting me be part of your process. Caroline

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Agree with you on stained...changed. Hanging onto un-contained as I want to impress that the joy couldn't be contained.

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

:::Big Smile:::

life's effervescent
memories
have bubbled over

what a wonderful thought to contemplate
A lovely thing to visualize. . .and hope to stimulate :-)

Best of luck in the contest :-)

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014

Thank you, made a minor change as someone pointed out stained had a negative connotation and I agreed.