Comment from Sasha

Excellent

I HATE blind entry contests. But I need to remind myself to look at the contest box every night before shutting down my computer to be sure not to keep missing your entries. This is a great story and another perfect addition to your book.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2015

Thanks again, Sasha. This was one of my personal favorites although it wasn't as well received as some of the others. I like the dark humor woven into it. I'm a huge fan of dark humor.

Much obliged, Sasha! :} ~Dean

Comment from A Matter Of Words

Excellent

Quick and precise....just what to expect in 100 words. Nicely written with a wonderful wry humour to boot. My hat goes off to you Dean....Stephanie

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thank you Stephanie. it was for a 100 word dash prompt contest from a couple of days ago. It placed second, but I was happy with the writing.

reply by A Matter Of Words on 12-Jun-2014

Well done...you were a contender, my friend.

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Yeah, but a contender's akin to being a bridesmaid and never the bride, LOL...

reply by A Matter Of Words on 14-Jun-2014

the upside is...you never have to worry about divorce or being in the doghouse!

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

I salute you my friend. The ability to tell a complete story is a great talent, but to do it in exactly 100 words requires genuine skill. And you have mastered it.

Loved the twist at the end.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jun-2014

Thanks, Bob, now if only more of the voters who voted in the contest felt as you did, I wouldn't be sitting here with less than two bucks-worth of funny money in my account.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, at least.

Thanks.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I might have had Jenny always desire to kiss Grimm to tie the beginning and end together-but this is Excellent for
100 measly words.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, LIJ Red, but I thought that I did state that. I'm not too sure what you mean. Anyhow, the contest is over and it's all just more water under the proverbial bridge now.

Comment from Saucey

Exceptional

"And here he was" Great write with a subtle message. God help our youth this generation is lacking commonsense and running right to death with so much exposure on the Internet etc. full of ways to get them out of here quickly. As a parent from the streets I constantly told my boys who now are men of the traps of curiosity and now encourage them to tell my grandchildren. There's no I'm sorry once you bite or in this case kiss.

Grinning over the corpse of yet another curiosity seeker came the whispered reply,

"...Dead."

You mastered this one.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thank God someone actually gets this, Saucey! I don't see why the message was so hard to understand, you nailed it right on the money! It was intended to be both social commentary against the dangers of teen suicide, and a flash fiction tale.

Thanks for restoring my faith in human comprehension, my friend.

reply by Saucey on 11-Jun-2014

Teen Suicide is off the charts, the pressures of life and death being glamorized is haunting, zombies, vampires etc. making death seem sexy and inviting, it's a trap, as parents we must up the message by training and loving our children to be able to withstand the pressures of life and not put added pressure on them help them recognize death is nothing to play with cause death is permanent. You did an awesome job and your storytelling priceless.

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Well, if just one more voter had felt as you did, I would have won this one. I sure wish you'd voted, LOL...

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Wow!! This has an intense ending. I think you have mastered the 100 word fiction contest. Great job.


Jenny had always desired to kiss him, and here was he was. (one too many 'was')


Grinning over the corpse of yet another curiosity seeker came the whispered reply.

"...Dead." (comma after reply)

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Well, at least you get it, Barbara. I don't see why the meaning of the story is so difficult for some. It's really very simple, wouldn't you agree?

I'll fix that error straight away, thanks.

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

Jenny had always desired to kiss him. Is Samantha a guy and if so why Samantha? As to the piece, I worked in fairs for 15 years and carney's would never commit crimes on the mid-way = bad for business. As to Grimm, reminds mr of the TV series 'Brother's Grimm'. Is that the connection. As to the piece. it is well written.

Regards:

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

No, Stephen, Samantha was Genny's friend. Which carny are you referring to? The one who gave the kiss of death? The ring toss guy committed no crime, save allowing the girl to kiss the Grim Reaper, knowing beforehand what the outcome would be.

The connection is the Kiss of Death. It's really very simple. Teens are curious about death today, more so that in any time in our nation's history. Seen the suicide rate for teens these days?

Mind boggling.

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 11-Jun-2014

Dear Dean: Thanks for the update. The suicide rate is appalling and is especially high (25%)on Indian reservations in the norther parts of Canada. Just posted 2 new poems. Thanks.

Cheers: Steve

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Not a problem, Stephen.

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks

Comment from dennis0530

Excellent

This brought back to my mind the metaphor "Curiosity killed the cat." - which warns of the danger in the over-eager investigation or experimentation.

So, curiosity was satisfied. To validate the truth from literature, Jenny discovered too late that Grimm's kiss was really BREATH-TAKING.

Well, the writing is short - business is dead.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, Dennis. It's short only because the contest rules required it to be. It was for a 100 word dash contest.

Thanks

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Yikes yikes yikes.....the kiss of death..................good ending.....er twist ...er...twisted......good 100 word dash.....well done....good luck with the contest
God bless

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Thanks, kiwijenny. I appreciate it.

I lost in the contest voting by a single vote vote.

reply by kiwijenny on 11-Jun-2014

Did you vote for it? These contests are so weird...I have started only entering the ones a Fanstory board vote for....I will let you know how that pans out.. :o)

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

No, I don't vote for my own work, I feel that's a bit unethical. Perhaps I should start?

reply by kiwijenny on 11-Jun-2014

Sure if it's the best..but I don't vote for mine either :o) do presidential candidates vote for themselves YES

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2014

Hah, yeah, I'm sure that they do.

Comment from Sean A. Chai

Excellent

Awesome job on this. Samantha must have been "true nervous, very, very nervous," not going through with a kiss like her friend, but it was Jenny who was the "mad" one.

So...what does he do with the recently deceased?

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014

I don't think I want to know what he does with them exactly, Sean.

Thanks for the review.