Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 123 "Shared Experience"My thoughts about t
15 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
I liked the photo that complements your poem well. You stuck to the rules. I like how you intend to go about teaching your grandson.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2014
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I liked the photo that complements your poem well. You stuck to the rules. I like how you intend to go about teaching your grandson.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2014
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Thank you very much Ine.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Treischel, it would seem that you have created the perfect wrapped refrain for this competition my friend, The content aboutthe raising of children is great as is the rhyming and the rhythm, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2014
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Hi Treischel, it would seem that you have created the perfect wrapped refrain for this competition my friend, The content aboutthe raising of children is great as is the rhyming and the rhythm, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2014
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Thank you Eric
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You are so welcome, have a lovely day
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the poem. Teach your kids the joys of life. Give them confidence to try different things. Let them walk by you and learn from you. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I love the picture. I love the poem. Teach your kids the joys of life. Give them confidence to try different things. Let them walk by you and learn from you. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you nelliesellie.
Comment from Laurie's Legacy
very nicely done, I really enjoyed the message, having grandchildren myself, I so agree. You met all the requirements, flowing nicely and the picture is precious.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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very nicely done, I really enjoyed the message, having grandchildren myself, I so agree. You met all the requirements, flowing nicely and the picture is precious.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you Laurie,
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You are very welcome?
Comment from sgalletti
Well, I'm reading through all of these amazing poems, inspired by Yeltel's prompt and non-blind contest. This form is new to me, and it was challenging. You have done a good job executing it. I agree with the message, being the oldest child of four, a grandmother and an auntie to many. The children in our family have done exactly what you suggest...experimented with many things and decided themselves where to excel. While I so appreciate enjambment, I do question why you chose to use punctuation the way you did throughout? Best of luck in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Well, I'm reading through all of these amazing poems, inspired by Yeltel's prompt and non-blind contest. This form is new to me, and it was challenging. You have done a good job executing it. I agree with the message, being the oldest child of four, a grandmother and an auntie to many. The children in our family have done exactly what you suggest...experimented with many things and decided themselves where to excel. While I so appreciate enjambment, I do question why you chose to use punctuation the way you did throughout? Best of luck in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you Sue. I appreciate the comments. I used the punctuation to create stops and pauses where I wanted that to occur.
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
you follow the contest format
your syllable and AA/BB/CC correct
good visual to allow the reader to see and feel message portrayed
good enjambment through sentences to allow free flow
good alliteration in
teach, things
great message
flows well
cheers..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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good luck in the contest
you follow the contest format
your syllable and AA/BB/CC correct
good visual to allow the reader to see and feel message portrayed
good enjambment through sentences to allow free flow
good alliteration in
teach, things
great message
flows well
cheers..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you smoothie cool
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most welcome..SC
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent presentation of an old truth in poetic form. Show our kids our passions, guide them and let them take them on in their own way.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Excellent presentation of an old truth in poetic form. Show our kids our passions, guide them and let them take them on in their own way.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you ravenblack. So true.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Tom, this was exceptionally well done. A Wrapped Refrain is a hard form to follow on many counts, but you handled it flawlessly. It is especially hard to get the flection right in this particular form, but I loved what you did here.
Great picture of your grandson who shares his granddad's passion for photography.
Some wonderfuly lines, like:
Shared passions gained will rise above
the insecurities there are
restricting them from going far,
by just exposing them to all the joy it brings.
A wonderful essay on parenthood and grand-parenthood (smile).
It should be one of the top contenders, good luck in the contest.
This is so very true.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Tom, this was exceptionally well done. A Wrapped Refrain is a hard form to follow on many counts, but you handled it flawlessly. It is especially hard to get the flection right in this particular form, but I loved what you did here.
Great picture of your grandson who shares his granddad's passion for photography.
Some wonderfuly lines, like:
Shared passions gained will rise above
the insecurities there are
restricting them from going far,
by just exposing them to all the joy it brings.
A wonderful essay on parenthood and grand-parenthood (smile).
It should be one of the top contenders, good luck in the contest.
This is so very true.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much yeltel, for comment and encouragement. The ranking, I'm delighted about.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"A Shared Experience" is a good poem with good rhyme and a good rhyme scheme followed consistently. For me it does not flow as well as it could. Good luck in the contest.
Preston
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Hi, Treischel,
"A Shared Experience" is a good poem with good rhyme and a good rhyme scheme followed consistently. For me it does not flow as well as it could. Good luck in the contest.
Preston
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thanks Preston.
Comment from rod007
The message is clear, sharing life experiences and teaching kids brings wonderful rewards of seeing them excel in life's adventures like fishing, tennis and football amongst others. I was amazed how my son's great tennis skills developed so well that he now easily defeats his old dad.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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The message is clear, sharing life experiences and teaching kids brings wonderful rewards of seeing them excel in life's adventures like fishing, tennis and football amongst others. I was amazed how my son's great tennis skills developed so well that he now easily defeats his old dad.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
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Thank you rod, i t's just that they are young and we, whether we like to admit it or not, are getting old.
