Comment from Caressa_08

Excellent

The title, picture & poem are in unison...A good write for 21 words....Appealing to some, though think liberation with keeping values in tact, & not on vacation would be the better way...Anyways, Best Wishes for this contest.

Caressa

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014

Thanks for reviewing. I agree, but that isn't always the way it happens.

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi :) thank you for entering the writing contest, I enjoyed your katie21. Sometimes we get a wake up call in life and turns everything we've held on to as right and real completely on its head. It truly is liberating, like being released from shackles. You did a great job with this. Perfect word count and nice alliteration in your first stanza especially :) good luck in the voting booth! Kind regards, Debra :)

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014

thanks for the great review.

Comment from Tonulak

Excellent

Hi Dallas Alice,
What's going on with Mr. jones?;) So far, this is my favorite Katie21. Often in life, things turn upside-down for us and we learn to sink or swim in that environment. Great job--Ted

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

There is no Mr. Jones. Thanks for the great review. Sometimes boredom leads to trouble. But not this time...lol

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good thought on what boredom can bring when on vacation

good alliteration in
thoughts, turn
beliefs, bend
values vacation
propagates, penetrates

lot portrayed in 21 words

cheers..Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014

Yea, sometimes it can lead to trouble if one isn't careful.

reply by Smoothiecool on 07-Jun-2014

that for sure
welcome to review
cheers..SC

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Terrific opening verse, Dallas:

'Thoughts turn inside out
beliefs bend upside down
values on vacation...' So creative!!

Good luck with this great entry in the contest!

:) Bev

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thanks, Bev. Have a great weekend.

reply by Writingfundimension on 06-Jun-2014

You, as well, Dallas. :)

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Dear Dallas - a great poem you have penned here. Different yes, but a creative and wonderful expressive poem. I enjoyed it, and I think its a great submission. Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing
Maureen

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

thanks, Maureen.

Comment from wordsmatter2me

Excellent

I like the photo for this woman resonates and screams out to the world and represents your poetic thoughts on change. Change in the internal thoughts of her mind, to changes in her liberated spirit. I like just thinking of the thoughts a Queen has on beliefs, boredom and exciting- liberation. Your words are so powerfully written.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thanks for the great review. Boredom can sometimes lead to trouble. I really was lucky to find the art work.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

good alliteration in beliefs bend
and values on vacation
and in propagates then penetrates
thought-provoking concept of values on vacation
a lot said in the 21 words allowed by this form
Brooke

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

A little different. Thanks for reviewing. It does make one ponder. sometimes boredom can lead to trouble. Caution advised...lol

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Excellent thought provoking short poem in 'Katie style'.

Thoughts turn inside out
beliefs bend upside down

A compelling opening

Love this:
values on vacation;

Fine alliteration of V

Brilliant phrasing and fine alliteration here too:

boredom
propagates then penetrates
my
yesterday's facade
(consider a line break here, if it is allowed)
how
exciting-liberation.

one suggestion:


boredom
propagates(,) then penetrates

Interesting presentation. A unique write.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2014

Thanks, rd. Made changes plus divided exciting and liberation, adding another line.

reply by rama devi on 06-Jun-2014

:-)) GREAT!