Writing Prompt Entries 2014
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Please Help Me Lord!"The clue is in the title!
13 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Congrats on the win! I was away for the long weekend and didn't get a chance to read/vote - but I would definitely checked that box! I confess the picture sucked me in. . .but the poem signed the deal! Oh, how I laughed at the destruction sown. . .but the closing stanza stole my heart (and went so well with the picture too!)
Great write!!!
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
Congrats on the win! I was away for the long weekend and didn't get a chance to read/vote - but I would definitely checked that box! I confess the picture sucked me in. . .but the poem signed the deal! Oh, how I laughed at the destruction sown. . .but the closing stanza stole my heart (and went so well with the picture too!)
Great write!!!
Comment Written 28-May-2014
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
-
Hi lorraine :) Thanks for your great comments and vote of confidence! Glad you liked this one.... I want the puppy in the picture, it's so cuuute! Hope you had a lovely long weekend away :) Debs
Comment from Connie C
Congratulations on winning the contest with this darling poem, Debra. I'm a big dog lover and love writing poetry where I speak for the dog. Thus, I really enjoyed this little gem of yours. Great rhyme throughout and what a cutie in the picture. Is he/she yours?
Hugs,
Connie xxx
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
Congratulations on winning the contest with this darling poem, Debra. I'm a big dog lover and love writing poetry where I speak for the dog. Thus, I really enjoyed this little gem of yours. Great rhyme throughout and what a cutie in the picture. Is he/she yours?
Hugs,
Connie xxx
Comment Written 27-May-2014
reply by the author on 28-May-2014
-
Hi connie :) thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and dazzling 6th star! The gorgeous pup regrettably isn't ours! We don't have a dog right now although Katie is trying her hardest to persuade us to get one or two! The poem was based on a German shepherd we had named Amber, she suffered from terrible separation anxiety and totally destroyed our home when we were at work. Those eyes of hers though, she could get away with almost anything! Love Debra :) xx
Comment from Pegcook
These lines caught my eye: "If these sad eyes can't win them round... Don't let them take me to the pound." Also "and loneliness eggs-on 'The Bad'". It was easy for this reader to envision the antics of the puppy. The rhymes and rhythm are true.
Just one question, in the line "I bust my master's easy chair," it seems that the word "bust" is a different tense than the rest of the poem. Were you thinking "busted" or perhaps "broke"?
This is a great contest entry!
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
These lines caught my eye: "If these sad eyes can't win them round... Don't let them take me to the pound." Also "and loneliness eggs-on 'The Bad'". It was easy for this reader to envision the antics of the puppy. The rhymes and rhythm are true.
Just one question, in the line "I bust my master's easy chair," it seems that the word "bust" is a different tense than the rest of the poem. Were you thinking "busted" or perhaps "broke"?
This is a great contest entry!
Comment Written 27-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Hi Pegcook, thank you so much for your great feedback, I appreciate your comments and encouragement. Kindest regards...:)
Comment from rouskin
If these sad eyes can't win them round...Don't let them take me to the pound. You've got my vote Best of luck in the contest Blessings, Rouskin
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
If these sad eyes can't win them round...Don't let them take me to the pound. You've got my vote Best of luck in the contest Blessings, Rouskin
Comment Written 27-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you so very much Rouskin :) I really appreciate your great feedback and of course your precious vote - every one counts! Thank you :)
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of Please Help Me Lord. Those sad eyes makes me wonder what is she thinking. I wonder if dogs really feel bad when they do bad things. My dog is smart too. When I leave the house, she runs upstairs to watch me out the window. Good piece. Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
To the author of Please Help Me Lord. Those sad eyes makes me wonder what is she thinking. I wonder if dogs really feel bad when they do bad things. My dog is smart too. When I leave the house, she runs upstairs to watch me out the window. Good piece. Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 27-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Thank you Carole for your lovely comments and good luck wishes. I appreciate both ! Kindest regards...:)
Comment from l.raven
OMG, what a great poem...I love the picture...and the poem is a perfect match...look at those sad eye's ...so very well written...Luff Linda
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
OMG, what a great poem...I love the picture...and the poem is a perfect match...look at those sad eye's ...so very well written...Luff Linda
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 27-May-2014
-
Hi Linda :) thank you so much for your lovely feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both and am glad you enjoyed the poem :) kindest regards...
-
you are so welcome...XXoo
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I would keep him after he laid those sad eyes on me. I have had pups who destroyed the house. I kept them. Great work.
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
I love the picture. I would keep him after he laid those sad eyes on me. I have had pups who destroyed the house. I kept them. Great work.
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
-
Thank you Ellie for your lovely feedback. I appreciate it :) kindest regards as always ...
Comment from RYME4U
This poem is so cute and well written. You have described puppy antics very well and the way the picture shows the guilty look is excellent. Awwwww , don't send him to the pound
poor baby!Great job
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
This poem is so cute and well written. You have described puppy antics very well and the way the picture shows the guilty look is excellent. Awwwww , don't send him to the pound
poor baby!Great job
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
-
Thank you so much Ryme4U for your lovely feedback. I appreciate it. Kindest regards...:)
Comment from adewpearl
Please help me, Lord - add comma for direct address
solid rhyming couplets
great examples of the dog's "sins"
good alliteration in deep disgrace
I ragged the blinds - do you mean dragged?
love the visual of the broken chair
good alliteration in springs strewn
make ammends - amends
What a cute closing - I'm sure he'll be forgiven :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
Please help me, Lord - add comma for direct address
solid rhyming couplets
great examples of the dog's "sins"
good alliteration in deep disgrace
I ragged the blinds - do you mean dragged?
love the visual of the broken chair
good alliteration in springs strewn
make ammends - amends
What a cute closing - I'm sure he'll be forgiven :-) Brooke
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
-
Hi Brooke :) Thank you for your wonderfully helpful review. I've revised as recommended. Ragged is a word that I would use, but I have changed it to dragged so as not to cause confusion, as ragged is probably a locally used word in this context at least. I really appreciate your constructive critique. Kindest regards as always...:)
Comment from Nosha17
This was a really beautiful entreaty by that naughty pup. Cute story of his naughty antics. You have made good use of rhyming and language and it was a most enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
This was a really beautiful entreaty by that naughty pup. Cute story of his naughty antics. You have made good use of rhyming and language and it was a most enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
-
Thank you Faye for your great comments and good luck wishes. I appreciate both. Kindest regards...:)