Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hi Ayesha,

I like the mono-rhyme in your little piece.

Nicely done, dear. Best wishes for the contest. Welcome to Fanstory!

Lots of love,

xxx

Sonali :)

 Comment Written 20-May-2014

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reply by the author on 22-May-2014

thank you so much :)

Comment from trevorletang

Excellent

well done on the accuracy of the 5-7-5 format. I like the way you compare this feeling to clouds messing up a bright sunny day. should you add a y on your last word ?grey?

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 17-May-2014

thanks. About y, i must have forgotten it in a hurry but the ammendments have been made so now its grey.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

I like ...my wishes fled away...

Like the old turns gre....I don't know what you mean.. Is it grey?
The font is a little light on light because I have reviewed so much today :o)
I like it
God bless

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 17-May-2014

thanks. I've corrected it. Its grey

Comment from yolieday

Excellent

Nice piece. All of the 5-7-5 rules are followed. Flows beautifully. Not sure if the last word is gray or something else. Otherwise great poem. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 17-May-2014

thanks and yeah the word is grey. Corrected