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Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Uri's Furies"Shorter stories
11 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I loved the 'dangling partical' lol. You did a great job bringing the Furies in on this one, and the part where they would drive the brothers insane gramma corrections, is brilliant! Well done again! I love all your short stories. I'll come back to them every day until I've read the 50. I'm not stopping now. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-May-2022
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I loved the 'dangling partical' lol. You did a great job bringing the Furies in on this one, and the part where they would drive the brothers insane gramma corrections, is brilliant! Well done again! I love all your short stories. I'll come back to them every day until I've read the 50. I'm not stopping now. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-May-2022
reply by the author on 06-May-2022
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Thank you, Sandra. I'm so pleased you took me up on this deal. I have re-promoted them as the other has expired. They should all be good for another ten days.
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I would have continued anyway, Bill. I knew it had expired, but that didn't worry me. I'm enjoying them. xx
Comment from GWHARGIS
I have a feeling the Greeks or romans would roll over in their grave if they read what you did to their Furies. I however enjoyed the hell out of it. I could even hear the bubble headed voices of the Furies. As far as Uri's dangling participal... Great piece.
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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I have a feeling the Greeks or romans would roll over in their grave if they read what you did to their Furies. I however enjoyed the hell out of it. I could even hear the bubble headed voices of the Furies. As far as Uri's dangling participal... Great piece.
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 15-May-2014
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Thank you, Gretchen, for the terrific review. Bill
Comment from adewpearl
I love the parody on Charlie's Angels :-)
Fun dialogue that brings out their personalities well
I'm laughing my head off at the dangling participle
though your example sentence isn't actually a dangling participle - it's ending a sentence with a preposition :-)
dangling preposition - I see Meg explains this later LOL
I love the evil plan to drive the brothers crazy with grammar correction LOL :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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I love the parody on Charlie's Angels :-)
Fun dialogue that brings out their personalities well
I'm laughing my head off at the dangling participle
though your example sentence isn't actually a dangling participle - it's ending a sentence with a preposition :-)
dangling preposition - I see Meg explains this later LOL
I love the evil plan to drive the brothers crazy with grammar correction LOL :-) Brooke
Comment Written 14-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thank you for liking this. I actually used the phrase 'dangling PARTICLE' though I don't know that it's a nono to separate the phrasal. Just sounded funny. Thanks, Brooke.
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a good instance of how we read what we're expecting and not what we actually see - my bad LOL
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Bill - I think you have done a fine job on this flash fiction piece. Great action, imagery and dialogue both smooth transitions and overall a well penned submission for this contest. - Good luck.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 13-May-2014
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Dear Bill - I think you have done a fine job on this flash fiction piece. Great action, imagery and dialogue both smooth transitions and overall a well penned submission for this contest. - Good luck.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 13-May-2014
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Thank you, Maureen, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Ritsal
This is a very entertaining piece of fiction. I do believe, according to the rules, you have to use the word "fury." You might want to incorporate that somewhere in there since all I saw were instances of "furies." Would hate to see it get tossed on a technicality.
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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This is a very entertaining piece of fiction. I do believe, according to the rules, you have to use the word "fury." You might want to incorporate that somewhere in there since all I saw were instances of "furies." Would hate to see it get tossed on a technicality.
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Thank you for reviewing and for the tip. If I'm disqualified for that reason then I'll assume the winner is already known.
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I believe a committee goes through all the entries looking for compliance with the rules before a vote. Just a heads up.
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I appreciate your advice. Didn't mean to sound rude.
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It's okay. Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Bill,
The dialogue is lively ... and the constant relentless barrage from the three women is realistic and conducive to a huge headache! (If I recall right, you belong in a predominantly female household, am I right? There's such an authentic feel to this 'deluge'! :))
Clever double entendre with the verbs!!
Very clever take on ancient mythology.
Best wishes for the contest. Have a wonderful week. The weather's getting lovely!
Sonali
"Should I use a (hacksaw) or would a
particle, Uri?" stated Meg. - with question mark ... asked Meg. Without question mark ... stated is fine
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Hello Bill,
The dialogue is lively ... and the constant relentless barrage from the three women is realistic and conducive to a huge headache! (If I recall right, you belong in a predominantly female household, am I right? There's such an authentic feel to this 'deluge'! :))
Clever double entendre with the verbs!!
Very clever take on ancient mythology.
Best wishes for the contest. Have a wonderful week. The weather's getting lovely!
Sonali
"Should I use a (hacksaw) or would a
particle, Uri?" stated Meg. - with question mark ... asked Meg. Without question mark ... stated is fine
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Thank you, Sonali, for the revision tips and the excellent review. Bill
Comment from lindalcreel
This was a great way to bring the past into the present. Funny you used the Melendez brothers, who thought they got away with murder. They should have been executed for their crimes, instead we will support them indefinitely. Sorry, but I believe in an eye for an eye, and what they did to their parents was unforgivable.
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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This was a great way to bring the past into the present. Funny you used the Melendez brothers, who thought they got away with murder. They should have been executed for their crimes, instead we will support them indefinitely. Sorry, but I believe in an eye for an eye, and what they did to their parents was unforgivable.
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Thank you, Linda, for giving this a look. When I thought to use the Furies, I was reminded that patricide was their main focus.
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It worked.
Comment from MIKECON
Nice one.Liked the storyline that flowed throughout and made for an interesting read.Reminded me slightly of "Charlie's Angels"Good job, and the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Nice one.Liked the storyline that flowed throughout and made for an interesting read.Reminded me slightly of "Charlie's Angels"Good job, and the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Thank you, Mike, for the great review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent satirical take on the old Charlie's Angels television show from the 70's, Bill. I was a huge fan, and Farrah Fawcett always got my motor hummin', if you catch the pitch I'm throwin' you.
The humor and dialogue throughout the story was hilarious, and the story itself, from a technical standpoint, was well done. The Menendez Brothers should beware!
Good stuff, Bill...
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Excellent satirical take on the old Charlie's Angels television show from the 70's, Bill. I was a huge fan, and Farrah Fawcett always got my motor hummin', if you catch the pitch I'm throwin' you.
The humor and dialogue throughout the story was hilarious, and the story itself, from a technical standpoint, was well done. The Menendez Brothers should beware!
Good stuff, Bill...
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 12-May-2014
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Thank you, Dean. I appreciate your positive review.
Comment from LIJ Red
For some reason I like this snide trivial impertinent thing but those old images of Farrah, Kate and Shelley keep fogging up my pictures of the furies...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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For some reason I like this snide trivial impertinent thing but those old images of Farrah, Kate and Shelley keep fogging up my pictures of the furies...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you, Red, for the excellent review.