Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Ah yes, the empty nest syndrome. This is a good expressive senryu. The phonetics of so many S sounds in all lines make it sound super read aloud--especially line two.

Ah, but I do love silence and serenity...

Good post and fine presentation. Hope you do (or did) well in the contest.

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 17-May-2014

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reply by the author on 18-May-2014

Hi rama :) Thank you so much for your review of this one. I appreciate your comments as always! I didn't do too badly in the booth, but there were a couple of really excellent entries... kindest regards, Debra :) x

reply by rama devi on 18-May-2014

Glad it did fairly well. Congrats. Kindest Regards, rd

Comment from Warren Rodgers

Exceptional

Hi Debra, I think you've hit the bulls-eye with this entry! It is so true (single parent here) and it will resonate with anyone who has ever been a parent. Nice alliteration with sound of silence swiftly outStays. The last line brings it all in focus and clicks with this reviewer. Good luck in the contest,
All the best,
Rodger

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 12-May-2014

Hi Rodger, Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and 6 star award! I really appreciate it and am glad that you could relate to this senryu. Thanks also for your good luck wishes...I'm going to need it, there's some great entries in the booth! Kindest regards as always... :)

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Wow. This is just beautifully written. What a lovely and touching thought. Just stopped by to wish you luck. This is going to be tough to beat!! Well done. mikey

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Hi Mikey, thank you so much for your lovely feedback. I really do appreciate it :) kindest regards as always...:)

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

I like the irony in this senryu and the interesting mixed-sensory figure of speech, "the sound of silence." Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Thank you so much Jeanie for your wonderful feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both :) kindest regards...

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

your few words and vivid images allow the reader to see and feel the silence as you miss your children

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Thank you smoothie cool for your lovely feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both! Kindest regards... :)

reply by Smoothiecool on 12-May-2014

welcome..SC

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi,

I can certainly appreciate the message in your poem. Beautifully illustrated and said.

I posted a poem, 'The Room', all about the silence after the boys left. Now they are 43 & 45, yet I still go to that 'silent room' in my mind.

Well done!

Happy Mother's Day.

Cheers
Keep Smilin'... Jax

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Happy Mothers Day to you too Jax :) thank you for your great feedback, I appreciate it! Kindest regards ...:)

Comment from lakeport

Excellent

the sound of silence, indeed that's a very lovely expressed
Senryu poem. Good luck at the contest, God bless you. Lakeport....

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Thank you lakeport for your great feedback and good luck wishes. I appreciate both ! Kindest regards...:)

reply by lakeport on 11-May-2014

Your welcome,Lakeport.

Comment from Dianemae

Excellent

I like the silence every now and then. The memories in my head are always great and silent. The noise will come soon enough. Enjoy your day..you Deserve it.

 Comment Written 11-May-2014

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reply by the author on 11-May-2014

Thank you so much dianemae for your lovely feedback. Kindest regards...:)