Closing Time at the EverAfter
Love gone wrong. Freestyle poem30 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Meanwhile, at home
Goldilocks swipes left
again and again
(too old, too young, too fat
too thin) -
She's sure this way's better
for finding happily ever after.
And Rapunzel sacrifices
tresses to trend
of short a sassy
gets a man.
While princes
with no name
play a rigged game
palming the wild cards and aces
and perfecting Prince Charming's
persona.
LOL
Sorry...I just had to pile on :-)
Love this sardonic approach!!
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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Meanwhile, at home
Goldilocks swipes left
again and again
(too old, too young, too fat
too thin) -
She's sure this way's better
for finding happily ever after.
And Rapunzel sacrifices
tresses to trend
of short a sassy
gets a man.
While princes
with no name
play a rigged game
palming the wild cards and aces
and perfecting Prince Charming's
persona.
LOL
Sorry...I just had to pile on :-)
Love this sardonic approach!!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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I like it. I didn't get around to those. Feel free to pile on all you want. Thanks for reading and participating.
Comment from pharp
MY of my did I enjoy your version of the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming. Excellent job in telling this story by way of poem. You did an excellent job in the rhyming and meter, smooth flow throughout. How dare Prince Charming keep a lady in waiting and then upon his arrival another lady on his arm. Well, I guess he will not be keeping anyone else awaiting. Thanks for a most enjoyable read.
Blessings..................Portia
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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MY of my did I enjoy your version of the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming. Excellent job in telling this story by way of poem. You did an excellent job in the rhyming and meter, smooth flow throughout. How dare Prince Charming keep a lady in waiting and then upon his arrival another lady on his arm. Well, I guess he will not be keeping anyone else awaiting. Thanks for a most enjoyable read.
Blessings..................Portia
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reading my version of the story. Prince Charming wasn't such a great guy was he? No happily ever after.
Comment from MacMhuirich
I like your version of the story, drinking, fighting and the police turning up. Lets see what Disney can do with this version. Very enjoyable read my friend.
John
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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I like your version of the story, drinking, fighting and the police turning up. Lets see what Disney can do with this version. Very enjoyable read my friend.
John
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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I think this is not the G rated version. Thank you for reading my interpretation.
Comment from Glasstruth
Wow! This reminds me of Dylan's early electric days and the lyrics he wrote. Love the image you tied to Cinderella, and let's not forget Errol Flynn and Brando. I myself have been there and done that. Great job! Les
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Wow! This reminds me of Dylan's early electric days and the lyrics he wrote. Love the image you tied to Cinderella, and let's not forget Errol Flynn and Brando. I myself have been there and done that. Great job! Les
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the complement. I appreciate you kind comments.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Wow! That is a different kind of Cinderella story tale. The end is unexpected and some may find it fair for a man that breaks Cinderella's heart. Good job!
~gypsy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Hello :)
Wow! That is a different kind of Cinderella story tale. The end is unexpected and some may find it fair for a man that breaks Cinderella's heart. Good job!
~gypsy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reading my version of the story. No happy ever after here though.
Comment from scd41
The fantasy story is an interesting mix of melodrama and reality. The poem is smooth flowing and has a message. At the face of it, Cindrellas appear to be losers but at the end emerge winners. An ignominious defeat for Prince Charming!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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The fantasy story is an interesting mix of melodrama and reality. The poem is smooth flowing and has a message. At the face of it, Cindrellas appear to be losers but at the end emerge winners. An ignominious defeat for Prince Charming!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2015
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Prince Charming wasn't much of a prince was he? Or maybe he was. I don't know any princes. Thank you for reading. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from JTStone
Wow, that was a profound statement. That could be an A.A. post card.
The rhyme was catchy, but a little off at times. But in something that long it must have been hard to do. The story that the poem told was realistic even though its presentation was fairytale, I liked the combo.
JT
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Wow, that was a profound statement. That could be an A.A. post card.
The rhyme was catchy, but a little off at times. But in something that long it must have been hard to do. The story that the poem told was realistic even though its presentation was fairytale, I liked the combo.
JT
Comment Written 21-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reading and for your comments. I appreciate your feedback.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is well rendered story in a poem. Very smooth and very narrative. I love the occasional rhymes too. Though Cinderella was kind of felt let down at first, but Prince Charming was the eventual loser.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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This is well rendered story in a poem. Very smooth and very narrative. I love the occasional rhymes too. Though Cinderella was kind of felt let down at first, but Prince Charming was the eventual loser.
ola thomas
Comment Written 21-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. I appreciate your feedback.
Comment from TPAC
I like the subject choice great potentials for this write grabbing in its presentation and endearing in its conveyance writer touches with compelling thoughts. A good read
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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I like the subject choice great potentials for this write grabbing in its presentation and endearing in its conveyance writer touches with compelling thoughts. A good read
Comment Written 21-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reading and for your kind comments. I appreciate your feedback. I am glad you appear to have enjoyed it.
Comment from c_lucas
Liquid happiness has never mended a broken heart and sometimes Prince Charming has a legitimate reason for not showing up. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Liquid happiness has never mended a broken heart and sometimes Prince Charming has a legitimate reason for not showing up. This is very well written.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback.
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You're welcome, D. Charlie
