Nature's Poetic Voice.
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Autumn's Advance."A sensory appreciation of nature.
4 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is a very interesting poem about autumn that the author has created with this piece of writing. Luckily we are in mid spring and the good weather is coming. Let autumn wait for another while.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
  |
This is a very interesting poem about autumn that the author has created with this piece of writing. Luckily we are in mid spring and the good weather is coming. Let autumn wait for another while.
Comment Written 03-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
-
Thank you Tomes,
I appreciate your thoughtful review.
I'm in Australia so autumn is beginning to tease us with what winter
has in store. I don' t like the cold oppressive months so I 'm not lookinb forward to the change.
-
Australia is absolutely beautiful. You are so lucky.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Shirley, I love your poem...it is leaning to Winter and we are trying to get passed it...LOL...love how you express it...chilly...so very well written...****** and I sooo love the picture...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
|
Hi Shirley, I love your poem...it is leaning to Winter and we are trying to get passed it...LOL...love how you express it...chilly...so very well written...****** and I sooo love the picture...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
-
Thank you Linda.
I'm not too uncomfortable with spring and autumn but find the heat of summer and cold of winter too oppressive.
I'm hoping for a short, cool winter and fast track to spring.Lol.
Not to hard to please am I?
-
LOL...no your not.....you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from tfawcus
I like the way you have developed the ambience of an Australian autumn in the high country here. There is a sense of louring stillness in the air. I note that you have maintained a strict 9 syllable count throughout. I wondered if perhaps an alternation of 9 and 8 syllable lines might give more strength? There are lines that might benefit from it. Eg There's no wind to blow clouds away / It's cool and still with rain clouds nigh / No breeze blows and the air is still / No more dreaming of summer things / As rain still falls on new mown hay / Wait a few hours, then take a look.
Just a suggestion! Feel free to tell me to go take a jump!
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
|
I like the way you have developed the ambience of an Australian autumn in the high country here. There is a sense of louring stillness in the air. I note that you have maintained a strict 9 syllable count throughout. I wondered if perhaps an alternation of 9 and 8 syllable lines might give more strength? There are lines that might benefit from it. Eg There's no wind to blow clouds away / It's cool and still with rain clouds nigh / No breeze blows and the air is still / No more dreaming of summer things / As rain still falls on new mown hay / Wait a few hours, then take a look.
Just a suggestion! Feel free to tell me to go take a jump!
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
-
Thank you.
I appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from dalewarren59
very well done. I like the last two lines, it was really an interesting and unexpected twist.
there's a couple of place that I felt needed a comma, to give the reader a pause to take in the separate thoughts. also the "air is quite still", might flow a little smoother if you just said the "air is still" (in my opinion)
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
 |
very well done. I like the last two lines, it was really an interesting and unexpected twist.
there's a couple of place that I felt needed a comma, to give the reader a pause to take in the separate thoughts. also the "air is quite still", might flow a little smoother if you just said the "air is still" (in my opinion)
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 02-May-2014
-
Thank you.
I appreciate your review.