Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 112 "Ghosts of Past Progress"My thoughts about t
9 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Success and progress and all the trappings sadly come and go
Leaving abandoned structures behind.
Your own cleverly created figure eight poem showcases this problem to
Perfection.
An interesting topic and great presentation.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Success and progress and all the trappings sadly come and go
Leaving abandoned structures behind.
Your own cleverly created figure eight poem showcases this problem to
Perfection.
An interesting topic and great presentation.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you Shirkey. A appreciate your endorsement.
Comment from rod007
Everything sooner or later crumbles and becomes nothing. It is an indicia of the finality of everything and the vain and temporary nature of man's power struggle. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Everything sooner or later crumbles and becomes nothing. It is an indicia of the finality of everything and the vain and temporary nature of man's power struggle. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you rod, even the mountains are eventually eroded.
Comment from Joan E.
My son is a rail buff and is currently on a train trip to D.C. I imagine he knows about this relic--I hope it can be re-purposed. Thanks for creating and sharing another new form--the name is quite descriptive. I enjoyed your rhymes and commentary about "past progress". Happy weekend- Joan
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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My son is a rail buff and is currently on a train trip to D.C. I imagine he knows about this relic--I hope it can be re-purposed. Thanks for creating and sharing another new form--the name is quite descriptive. I enjoyed your rhymes and commentary about "past progress". Happy weekend- Joan
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thank you Joan. The ebb and flow of things is tangible. Appreciate your comments.
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You make the tangible poetic, my friend. Smiles- Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Very clever, this style you have invented, Tom, and the name is perfect. I read poem with a degree of sadness, when you think of the glorious past that once was, and how far the world of business and finance has declined, how many dreams have ended in chaos. You have written this well and the desolate empty building is the final dismal touch. So sad. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Very clever, this style you have invented, Tom, and the name is perfect. I read poem with a degree of sadness, when you think of the glorious past that once was, and how far the world of business and finance has declined, how many dreams have ended in chaos. You have written this well and the desolate empty building is the final dismal touch. So sad. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thank you Sandra. It is very sad.
Comment from sunnilicious
I blame immigrants from 1990 to date and Bill Gates for everything these days. Maybe we can blame them for that building too.
Good author notes. Great poem.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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I blame immigrants from 1990 to date and Bill Gates for everything these days. Maybe we can blame them for that building too.
Good author notes. Great poem.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thanks Alicia. Ah, probably not. ;-)
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Have a nice weekend :)
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"Ghosts of Past Progress" is an excellent poem that follows an unusual creative form with a good structure. It has good rhyme, and figurative language and imagery.
It does point toward a condition that ought to be remedied. I would question the line "misfortune turned for the worse". I would argue that misfortune is incorrect. That it should be fortunes or fortune was no misfortune was established in previous lines. The sense was that is was good.
The flow is good although "everywhere" and "solid" which begin their lines begin with stressed syllables.
Preston
Preston
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Hi, Treischel,
"Ghosts of Past Progress" is an excellent poem that follows an unusual creative form with a good structure. It has good rhyme, and figurative language and imagery.
It does point toward a condition that ought to be remedied. I would question the line "misfortune turned for the worse". I would argue that misfortune is incorrect. That it should be fortunes or fortune was no misfortune was established in previous lines. The sense was that is was good.
The flow is good although "everywhere" and "solid" which begin their lines begin with stressed syllables.
Preston
Preston
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Preston for your astute analysis. That is why I did not claim it to be iambic.
Comment from Green Lake Girl
A picture can be worth 1,000 words. Loved your commentary through verse on this abandoned building. I often wonder why we are so content to let buildings fall to ruin? I see this more in the US than other countries I've visited. I'm also curious why owners are allowed to let buildings fall into such disrepair. It should be their responsibility to remove the eyesore. (I digressed!)
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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A picture can be worth 1,000 words. Loved your commentary through verse on this abandoned building. I often wonder why we are so content to let buildings fall to ruin? I see this more in the US than other countries I've visited. I'm also curious why owners are allowed to let buildings fall into such disrepair. It should be their responsibility to remove the eyesore. (I digressed!)
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Marietta. It is a real quandary. Although occasionally these are refurbished. That happened recently with a old beer brewery not far away. Rumor is this one has some development plans too.
Comment from DonandVicki
A quite originally constructed verse, the figure eight poem with the syllable count is extraordinary . You can find these derelict buildings in Detroit, Cleveland and all over as you said. The problem stems from the economy and note nought funds or desire to tear the delapidated buildings down. Don
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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A quite originally constructed verse, the figure eight poem with the syllable count is extraordinary . You can find these derelict buildings in Detroit, Cleveland and all over as you said. The problem stems from the economy and note nought funds or desire to tear the delapidated buildings down. Don
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Don. Yup, you are so right.
Comment from RGstar
This is very good, Treischel.
Despite the subject matter, it was very poetic write indeed. The first stanza blew me away with poetic ambiance for such a mundane theme.
''Everywhere ghosts of past progress
stand mute to former noblesse.
Once shining business, now dispossess
their gilded dreams,
or so it seems.
Their walls, once pillars of commerce,
bear fates that are now quite converse,
as misfortune turned for the worse''
Great.
Well done, my friend, well done.
RGstar
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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This is very good, Treischel.
Despite the subject matter, it was very poetic write indeed. The first stanza blew me away with poetic ambiance for such a mundane theme.
''Everywhere ghosts of past progress
stand mute to former noblesse.
Once shining business, now dispossess
their gilded dreams,
or so it seems.
Their walls, once pillars of commerce,
bear fates that are now quite converse,
as misfortune turned for the worse''
Great.
Well done, my friend, well done.
RGstar
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much RG. I am pleasantly pleased by your wonderful response
