The Crypt of Hubbard Hayle: Part 2
Part two of the story...45 total reviews
Comment from babylonia
Dean,
Poor little mouse ... boys ... really? I would want them to sleep some place else. Already really liking this one. I see lots of potential with this one.
Love,
Barbara
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Dean,
Poor little mouse ... boys ... really? I would want them to sleep some place else. Already really liking this one. I see lots of potential with this one.
Love,
Barbara
Comment Written 20-May-2014
Comment from Mike Battaglia
...I don't know why, but reading you is like reading an old friend. Your writing, your words, the way you set a scene and build p anticipation, sir. It's like discovering an old, dusty book in a cobwebbed attic--one that forgot I even had, and am overjoyed to have found again.
Not only do I get an almost "Goonies" sense of adventure from this story, but the build up is almost unbearable. You've told us where the boys are going, you've told us what awaits, and I find myself reading too fast just to get to where you are pipering us with your dark and evil flute, sir.
This reads like a good old fashioned campfire story. The kind of campfire story that kept you up all night, listening to the crickets chirp outside in the woods and imagining more than crickets. Far more. Your inspirations are almost obvious, for I never cease to find shades and shadows of all the old stories that used to keep me up at night.
A brilliant move to break this story up into instalments. It has allowed you to take your time. The readers on this site are notorious for the attention span (meaning their lack thereof) but in the case of Hubbard Hayle, you've used it to your utmost benefit. Even the name--Hubbard Hayle... It sounds like a dark and evil legend.
Sir, your writing reeks of cobwebs and batwings. Your words carry the very stench of storm-sodden grave dirt. Reading you feels like coming home. You are a tease, sir, in your own masterful way, by lifting the curtain before you take us into the show, and yet you still manage to keep us glued to your every word. That is something I could never do. Not like you.
The dread anticipation of what these boys are going to find is palpable, cringe worthy, deplorable... in short: delicious.
You are despicable, demented, twisted, fiendish, and I just adore your stories. This one is right on top. Hubbard Hayle indeed, sir... Just brilliant.
--Mike
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...I don't know why, but reading you is like reading an old friend. Your writing, your words, the way you set a scene and build p anticipation, sir. It's like discovering an old, dusty book in a cobwebbed attic--one that forgot I even had, and am overjoyed to have found again.
Not only do I get an almost "Goonies" sense of adventure from this story, but the build up is almost unbearable. You've told us where the boys are going, you've told us what awaits, and I find myself reading too fast just to get to where you are pipering us with your dark and evil flute, sir.
This reads like a good old fashioned campfire story. The kind of campfire story that kept you up all night, listening to the crickets chirp outside in the woods and imagining more than crickets. Far more. Your inspirations are almost obvious, for I never cease to find shades and shadows of all the old stories that used to keep me up at night.
A brilliant move to break this story up into instalments. It has allowed you to take your time. The readers on this site are notorious for the attention span (meaning their lack thereof) but in the case of Hubbard Hayle, you've used it to your utmost benefit. Even the name--Hubbard Hayle... It sounds like a dark and evil legend.
Sir, your writing reeks of cobwebs and batwings. Your words carry the very stench of storm-sodden grave dirt. Reading you feels like coming home. You are a tease, sir, in your own masterful way, by lifting the curtain before you take us into the show, and yet you still manage to keep us glued to your every word. That is something I could never do. Not like you.
The dread anticipation of what these boys are going to find is palpable, cringe worthy, deplorable... in short: delicious.
You are despicable, demented, twisted, fiendish, and I just adore your stories. This one is right on top. Hubbard Hayle indeed, sir... Just brilliant.
--Mike
Comment Written 19-May-2014
Comment from faragon
Sorry it took so long to read this. It is an awesome story so far. I love the way you describe the graveyard! Sent chills down my spine and I could actually feel like I could smell the cemetery. The dialogue you use flows nicely as does the story line. Good job!
reply by the author on 17-May-2014
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Sorry it took so long to read this. It is an awesome story so far. I love the way you describe the graveyard! Sent chills down my spine and I could actually feel like I could smell the cemetery. The dialogue you use flows nicely as does the story line. Good job!
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 17-May-2014
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Thanks so much, faragon. I'm glad you took the opportunity to review it and give me your opinions on the story. I truly appreciate that!
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Dean:)
Well it seems Timmy is not totally prepared to just be a sheep willing to forgive even insults intended to prod him sn toward the aging crypt. No now he had murder in his eyes. Bullies need to stop before they go to far.
As for the field mouse, I now must wait for part 3 to see what disturbed her so.
Thanks for entertaining me as P.G. Wodehouse used to do.
Roger
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Hi Dean:)
Well it seems Timmy is not totally prepared to just be a sheep willing to forgive even insults intended to prod him sn toward the aging crypt. No now he had murder in his eyes. Bullies need to stop before they go to far.
As for the field mouse, I now must wait for part 3 to see what disturbed her so.
Thanks for entertaining me as P.G. Wodehouse used to do.
Roger
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Yes, you're absolutely right, Roger. Timmy's had enough. I really appreciate you following along with the story. I am working diligently on part 3, part II of my new novella, The Chronos Bug, and a new poem entitled, Something's Amiss...
Busy, busy bees, are we, lol!
Comment from Maltese Falcon
I really like all the pictures breaking up the test I feel it really adds to the whole experience of reading this piece. well done
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I really like all the pictures breaking up the test I feel it really adds to the whole experience of reading this piece. well done
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you, Maltese Falcon. That's exactly why I do it, to break up the monotony for my readers. I'm glad you enjoy it.
Comment from Janet Foor
You're making a believer out of me Dean. I have never been into the scary, creepy genre. But reading your short verses and stories has me hooked. Now, I just have to choose to read your work in the daylight hours. Your words draw the reader into the story with you. Loved this one Dean.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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You're making a believer out of me Dean. I have never been into the scary, creepy genre. But reading your short verses and stories has me hooked. Now, I just have to choose to read your work in the daylight hours. Your words draw the reader into the story with you. Loved this one Dean.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thank you, Janet, and I'm happy to be partially responsible for turning you on to the horror genre. I enjoy reading all types of stories, in many different genres, and have found that I can learn something significant from each one. I really appreciate your kind and encouraging review!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Good one Timmy for knocking the smart arse Danny into the brambles and honeysuckle. Great descriptions of these two boys.Good finish even the mouse is hiding in the haunted house. Look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Good one Timmy for knocking the smart arse Danny into the brambles and honeysuckle. Great descriptions of these two boys.Good finish even the mouse is hiding in the haunted house. Look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks, Pearl, and Dan-o had it coming, don't you think? I really appreciate you following along with the story, and I am even more pleased to know that it entertains you.
Comment from Treischel
Well written follow-on to to part 1. Told in a very interesting manner, I could identify with the bickering boys. The field mouse warns us of vile things to come. A bit of background on old Harlan adds depth to he tale.
My favorite line was:
While I maintained a brisk, steady pace on the climb up Harlan's Hill, Timmy's pace was not nearly as enthusiastic. He moved more like a snail in a wind tunnel across a floor filled with molasses, than a kid on the adventure of a lifetime.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Well written follow-on to to part 1. Told in a very interesting manner, I could identify with the bickering boys. The field mouse warns us of vile things to come. A bit of background on old Harlan adds depth to he tale.
My favorite line was:
While I maintained a brisk, steady pace on the climb up Harlan's Hill, Timmy's pace was not nearly as enthusiastic. He moved more like a snail in a wind tunnel across a floor filled with molasses, than a kid on the adventure of a lifetime.
Comment Written 02-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Hah, thanks, Tom, and that line was a late edit, so I'm very pleased that you pointed it out. I appreciate that, my friend!
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Holy Crap Dean - You're tormenting me and scaring the crap out of me too.
Ok I squeezed this one in before it got dark. Yeah your imagery is just too bloody good and the shivers are still working their way through me.
How in hell do you think of all this - I'd have nightmares for life.
Thanks for scaring me - damn....I'm going to have to count sheep, or maybe firefighters just so I don't get nightmares.
Maureen
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Holy Crap Dean - You're tormenting me and scaring the crap out of me too.
Ok I squeezed this one in before it got dark. Yeah your imagery is just too bloody good and the shivers are still working their way through me.
How in hell do you think of all this - I'd have nightmares for life.
Thanks for scaring me - damn....I'm going to have to count sheep, or maybe firefighters just so I don't get nightmares.
Maureen
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Hah ha, thanks, Maureen, I truly appreciate you following along with the story. I'll do my best not to scare you too badly...NOT!!!, lol.
Thanks so much again.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Twilight is falling, Dean, so I'll write my review and make my exit as fast as I can!
A great second part to your horrific tale. The mother mouse and babies is a masterly touch - adds ambiance to the stirrings!
Until next time,
Sonali
insulting his weight spur(r)ed him into whatever action
. (Ri)sing up on her hind legs,
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Twilight is falling, Dean, so I'll write my review and make my exit as fast as I can!
A great second part to your horrific tale. The mother mouse and babies is a masterly touch - adds ambiance to the stirrings!
Until next time,
Sonali
insulting his weight spur(r)ed him into whatever action
. (Ri)sing up on her hind legs,
Comment Written 01-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Thanks, Reach, I'm glad you got the chance to read it. I'll take care of those edits straight away, I appreciate it!
