Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

You certainly met the contest's request for an uplifting poem. I enjoyed your rhymed couplets in these quatrains and your wise advice. I especially liked your "Every day is a new beginning". Best wishes in the competition and happy holiday weekend- Joan

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014

Thanks Joan, for the great review, I am pleased you enjoyed it. Mary.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid use of rhyming couplets
a thoughtful poem offering wise, upbeat advice
definitely good inspiration in poetic form :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014

thanks Brook for the great review. Mary

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest

your chosen words allow the reader to see and feel that you can achieve any thing if you don't give up and have the courage to take each day as you see it

you have good couplet rhyming through out your poem

good alliteration in
when, wisdom
soar, sun, shine

flows well easy read

cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014

thank you for the great review, the contest is over, but it is still lovely to get reviews. Mary

reply by Smoothiecool on 19-Apr-2014

yes know the feeling

most welcome...SC...Faye

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

There are so many that are lost in this world and need advice as you have written here. There is wisdom in the thoughts you are projecting in your poem. I enjoyed reading and writing this response for it... John

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2014

Thanks for the great review. and comments, I am glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the picture. I love the poem. You are sure right. The world is yours, if you want it. You have to reach out and earn it. You have to do the work. Great work. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thank you for the great review.

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

This is good sound advice for anyone reading it. The rhyme and rhythm are well done and the entry is perfect for the "uplifting poem" contest. Great job

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thank you for the great review.

Comment from Karen B.

Excellent

A sweet poem of hope, focusing on the positive in life. Definitely meets the contest criteria of being uplifting. Reads smoothly and has great rhyming. Good luck with it!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

thanks Karen for the great review.

Comment from linsbm

Excellent

Very positive in your approach with this piece of poem. Your intro displays high in spirit and strength in the use of words and language. Your photo too suggests energetic activity. Your thoughts express message so uplifting. You succeeded in connecting with your readers, this inspirational poem. Excellent write. Thanks for sharing.} Lin

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thanks for the wonderful review, I do appreciate it.

Comment from healfromwithin

Excellent

The UPDATE is better. lines 3 & 4 still have some "tense" confusion between "tried" (past) and "won't (present/future). - how about, "try?"

It does read a bit better, hence the star upgrade. ;)


This is meant to be uplifting, and could be so if some edits were applied:

watch tenses -
Whatever I see I know I'll be (future)
These words of wisdom came to me (past)

these don't work together:
When I try to see the half full glass (positive)
Troubles and woes do come to pass (negative)
(unless you're trying to say that bad things happen when you are optimistic.)

punctuation: Life is not always easy(,) I know

this line feels forced to rhyme: Birds chirp, the sun has a warm shine

This verse is good, but needs punctuation: My heart sings out(, "this world is mine!")

Good luck on your contest entry.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

Thank you so much for your detailed review and your helpful hints, I have edited it and I agree with everything you said, I would love for you to re read it and give me your opining of the change.

Comment from crystal brandon

Excellent

hi my name is crystal Brandon.i enjoyed reading your poem a lot,.i loved the part were you talked about your innerself and too give yourself an chance too fly like an bird if you believe in yourself,.im giving you five stars,.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Apr-2014

I appreciate you great review, thanks for the 5 stars.