Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Ahanzi Moon"Murder Mystery
40 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
This story continues to fascinate me, Bev. Just when I think I'm figuring things out you go and throw some twist in there. Great writing and suspense.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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This story continues to fascinate me, Bev. Just when I think I'm figuring things out you go and throw some twist in there. Great writing and suspense.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2014
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Joy, thank you so very much. I appreciate the generous stars and your support for the chapter. Means a lot coming from you, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Dawn Munro
YOW! Full-on meet for our antagonizing, meddlesome reporter. As awful as she is, Danika doesn't deserve the fate awaiting her.
One thing niggles at me though, my friend (re: plot) - why didn't she shoot? She challenged, so by then she must have had the gun in hand that she'd fumbled for... ?
One tiny typo, Bev -
"...unzipped his pants and found her (target)..."
As always - riveting!!! Chilling!!! The stuff of nightmares, for sure.
Great lead-in to the next part too.
(SHEESH - I clicked on the wrong # of stars and can't correct it!) (Of COURSE it's exceptional - the whole BOOK is!)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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YOW! Full-on meet for our antagonizing, meddlesome reporter. As awful as she is, Danika doesn't deserve the fate awaiting her.
One thing niggles at me though, my friend (re: plot) - why didn't she shoot? She challenged, so by then she must have had the gun in hand that she'd fumbled for... ?
One tiny typo, Bev -
"...unzipped his pants and found her (target)..."
As always - riveting!!! Chilling!!! The stuff of nightmares, for sure.
Great lead-in to the next part too.
(SHEESH - I clicked on the wrong # of stars and can't correct it!) (Of COURSE it's exceptional - the whole BOOK is!)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Dawn. I'll check out the section. I had the idea that she'd found the phone but not the gun.
Thanks, as always for the encouragement and support.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Bev.
This chapter is fabulous! Wow, right from the beginning, I hung onto every word. Your characters, dialogue and visuals are amazing. Awesome write! This deserves ten stars.
Bravo my friend!
Bye
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Hi, Bev.
This chapter is fabulous! Wow, right from the beginning, I hung onto every word. Your characters, dialogue and visuals are amazing. Awesome write! This deserves ten stars.
Bravo my friend!
Bye
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this great review. I am so appreciative of your support and encouragement, my friend. You're always so positive and kind, Rosalyne. Love, Bev
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Bev, you are so modest of your talents. This is incredible writing! Bravo my friend!
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
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Aw, thanks so much, Rosalyne. I'm always conscious of how I can improve. Hard for me to sit back and be happy with good LoL. Love ya, Bev
Comment from amahra
I love coming into late chapters and not knowing much but because of the good writing can be inspired to read on. It was only one thing that puzzled me. The writing wasn't clear enough for me to visualize the scene where Jordon deflects and knee kick to his groin. And a small sprang below. Also, in your author notes, you don't have who Jordon is.
"she was terrified it was Jordan come[ing] back to finish the job."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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I love coming into late chapters and not knowing much but because of the good writing can be inspired to read on. It was only one thing that puzzled me. The writing wasn't clear enough for me to visualize the scene where Jordon deflects and knee kick to his groin. And a small sprang below. Also, in your author notes, you don't have who Jordon is.
"she was terrified it was Jordan come[ing] back to finish the job."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Hi, Amahra. Thanks for the very helpful and supportive review. I appreciate it! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
Holy Toledo, Bev. I had to stop and scroll back to the top of the page where it said, "Writingfundimension". I thought I'd opened the wrong post. Yeah, girl! You're pushing back barriers. I loved it! So bold, and a little warped! Whoo hoo! Jordan is right. She is a twisted bitch. But it sure looks like Eddie is even more twisted than she could be.
So well done, Bev. It just flowed along. I didn't see any spags. I was so involved in the story. Awesome, the way you built the tension, threw in the action, made me cringe and sweat a bit. Masterful, Bev. Terrific job. Take a bow!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Holy Toledo, Bev. I had to stop and scroll back to the top of the page where it said, "Writingfundimension". I thought I'd opened the wrong post. Yeah, girl! You're pushing back barriers. I loved it! So bold, and a little warped! Whoo hoo! Jordan is right. She is a twisted bitch. But it sure looks like Eddie is even more twisted than she could be.
So well done, Bev. It just flowed along. I didn't see any spags. I was so involved in the story. Awesome, the way you built the tension, threw in the action, made me cringe and sweat a bit. Masterful, Bev. Terrific job. Take a bow!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Hi, Adrienne. Thanks so very much for this absolutely wonderful review. I was quite nervous about this chapter. As you say, it was pushing the comfort zone for me, Adrienne. So glad that it came across as I'd hoped - bold and warped LoL. YESSS! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Holy shit, Bev! This is some riveting chapter. I couldn't help but think it'd make a sensational movie scene.
Your writing is fabulous, the suspense is masterful. Your characters, Danika and Jordan are very believable; you made it very easy to dislike Danika.
I now understand Edward's drive to "hook up" with the devil. Edward's father is reprehensible, but was he really trying to protect Edward with his warning?
Just when I think I've read your "best chapter" you write another one! Sensational.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Holy shit, Bev! This is some riveting chapter. I couldn't help but think it'd make a sensational movie scene.
Your writing is fabulous, the suspense is masterful. Your characters, Danika and Jordan are very believable; you made it very easy to dislike Danika.
I now understand Edward's drive to "hook up" with the devil. Edward's father is reprehensible, but was he really trying to protect Edward with his warning?
Just when I think I've read your "best chapter" you write another one! Sensational.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Hi, Marietta. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I sweated this one a bit. And then when I posted it, I wasn't sure about the language and sex. But, it's seems to be okay with folks so far. Your input helped me home in on what I wanted from this chapter, and I'm glad you found it 'sensational. The stars are great and so generous, but it's the encouragement that means the most. Hugs, Bev
Comment from JB Lynn
Really incredible action and suspense in this chapter! I think I even held my breath a couple of times! You weave dialogue and action together flawlessly. I especially liked being able to read the news anchor's inner thoughts both when she felt in control, and when she saw the dog and everything started unraveling.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Really incredible action and suspense in this chapter! I think I even held my breath a couple of times! You weave dialogue and action together flawlessly. I especially liked being able to read the news anchor's inner thoughts both when she felt in control, and when she saw the dog and everything started unraveling.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Hi, JB. Thank you so very much for this awesome review! I really appreciate your encouragement and support. Great to hear from you. :0) Bev
Comment from c_lucas
You have twisted the plot a little. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Very good job.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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You have twisted the plot a little. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Very good job.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Thanks so very much, Charlie. I can't seem to stay on the straight and narrow LoL. Sure appreciate your support and generosity. :0) Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from judiverse
Excellent characterization of Danika. She comes across as really tough and single-minded. It seems that Jordan has had enough of her behavior and is ready to go on elsewhere. I was surprised when Eddie kidnaps Danika. But there's that devil in the form of a dog that's controlling his actions. The ghostly appearance of Eddie's father is supposed to frighten him, but Eddie seems more resolved forever. He wants revenge. Great work, and six stars. judi
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Excellent characterization of Danika. She comes across as really tough and single-minded. It seems that Jordan has had enough of her behavior and is ready to go on elsewhere. I was surprised when Eddie kidnaps Danika. But there's that devil in the form of a dog that's controlling his actions. The ghostly appearance of Eddie's father is supposed to frighten him, but Eddie seems more resolved forever. He wants revenge. Great work, and six stars. judi
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Judi. I admit to having a bit of fun at the expense of the press, but so often their actions are reprehensible.
Sure appreciate all the stars and, even more, your loyalty and support for this novel.
Hugs, Bev
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You're so welcome. I'm sure they aren't all like Danika. She seems to be just out to make a name for herself. judi
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Yes, just as I'm sure there's good politicians, lawyers and pharamaceutical manufacturers LoL. xx Bev
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The good ones just don't make the headlines! judi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Not a nice person at all. Oh my!!! He's down right Evil. Good post. I enjoyed reading.
"You'll get a rash if you leave that make-up on too long, Danika." (I can't wear makeup for that very reason.)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Not a nice person at all. Oh my!!! He's down right Evil. Good post. I enjoyed reading.
"You'll get a rash if you leave that make-up on too long, Danika." (I can't wear makeup for that very reason.)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the super review and shiny stars, Barbara. Theatre make-up is the worst!
Appreciate your generosity and support.
:0) Bev
