Haiku (cardinal's contrast)
The hope found knowing spring is coming44 total reviews
Comment from Lulube
Isn't it funny how we are all ancey for spring to be here. I love the first showing signs of the bulbed flowers poking through the soil then the full blast of the spring scent, like no other.
Like in your poem your showing sign is the cardinal. Great imagery for the red bird and the white snow.
lulube
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Isn't it funny how we are all ancey for spring to be here. I love the first showing signs of the bulbed flowers poking through the soil then the full blast of the spring scent, like no other.
Like in your poem your showing sign is the cardinal. Great imagery for the red bird and the white snow.
lulube
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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I always look forward to your kind feedback, I've been away again for several months and have truly missed everyone.
Thank you so much for your your kind words and review. Seasons are truly my favorite to write about and ponder, whether in nature, life or love.
Smiles,
Teresa :)
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welcome
lulube and thxs for your compliment
Comment from nannabot
Hi, I think this is lovely. It's well crafted and full of colourful imagery. Red, to signify the warmer Spring season on its way. Plus a bird to signify a message of hope.
Good luck with all your work. Big hugs from nannabot. xxx
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Hi, I think this is lovely. It's well crafted and full of colourful imagery. Red, to signify the warmer Spring season on its way. Plus a bird to signify a message of hope.
Good luck with all your work. Big hugs from nannabot. xxx
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the hugs, and the wonderfully thoughtful feedback. I appreciate your time and am grateful for your kind review. Have a wonderful weekend!!
Smiles,
Teresa :)
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a beautiful little haiku for the contest. I've seen cardinal all winter here. Good luck to you in the contest.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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This is a beautiful little haiku for the contest. I've seen cardinal all winter here. Good luck to you in the contest.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Teresa,
Thank you so much for your kind review and the good luck wishes. I've never won a contest yet, but they are always a fun challenge and I enjoy that part the most.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Smiles,
Teresa :)
Comment from reconciled
Hi Teresa, it really has been a long cold winter this year...seems like it is here to stay...smile... a really beautiful picture...hopefully Spring is coming soon...very well written
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Hi Teresa, it really has been a long cold winter this year...seems like it is here to stay...smile... a really beautiful picture...hopefully Spring is coming soon...very well written
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for the kind review. Indeed winter has lasted far to long, and I'm afraid of a short spring followed by a long hot summer, I can handle the grey skies and cold a little better than the humidity and heat of summer. But the good news is seasons always come and go!!
Smiles,
Teresa :)
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Teresa
The male cardinal is a beautiful bird. I know what you mean by "contrast" too. A couple of years ago, we had cardinals through the winter. After one particular snowstorm, I spotted the male quite easily against the white background. Snow had covered every branch of spruce, fir and pine in our backyard.
Nice alliteration with "cardinal's contrast". Here in New Brunswick, Canada, it's the return of robins that signals spring. Though we've had bitter temps, and the ground is surely frozen with two feet of snow, I've counted at least 13 so far. Lord knows what they're eating. The worms are six feet down, under the frost level. But cardinals must be a sign of spring for you. They are winter birds here, and scarce. They sure do pretty up the neighbourhood.
I'm not sure that this is a true haiku poem, as people hope for spring. Here's my notes on the Haiku form:
Haiku employ direct observation of concrete imagery and avoid personification. (The Japanese believe nature can "speak" for itself.) Also, haiku divide into two parts, one longer, one shorter.
No rhyme!
No personification!
Nature (seasons)
Concrete imagery
Satori line that makes a point as the third line, reflecting the first two.
The primary characteristic of haiku in Japanese is that they are SEASONAL.
-focus on seasons
-have a kire, a cutter, which divides the poem into two parts.
-are NOT 3 grammatically independent thoughts on three lines
-are written in present tense, using concrete images and a seasonal word, or seasonal reference - a kigo*
-should not rhyme
-should have two juxtaposed concrete images
The goal of a haiku is to capture a single moment with very few words.
Good Luck in the contest.
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Hi Teresa
The male cardinal is a beautiful bird. I know what you mean by "contrast" too. A couple of years ago, we had cardinals through the winter. After one particular snowstorm, I spotted the male quite easily against the white background. Snow had covered every branch of spruce, fir and pine in our backyard.
Nice alliteration with "cardinal's contrast". Here in New Brunswick, Canada, it's the return of robins that signals spring. Though we've had bitter temps, and the ground is surely frozen with two feet of snow, I've counted at least 13 so far. Lord knows what they're eating. The worms are six feet down, under the frost level. But cardinals must be a sign of spring for you. They are winter birds here, and scarce. They sure do pretty up the neighbourhood.
I'm not sure that this is a true haiku poem, as people hope for spring. Here's my notes on the Haiku form:
Haiku employ direct observation of concrete imagery and avoid personification. (The Japanese believe nature can "speak" for itself.) Also, haiku divide into two parts, one longer, one shorter.
No rhyme!
No personification!
Nature (seasons)
Concrete imagery
Satori line that makes a point as the third line, reflecting the first two.
The primary characteristic of haiku in Japanese is that they are SEASONAL.
-focus on seasons
-have a kire, a cutter, which divides the poem into two parts.
-are NOT 3 grammatically independent thoughts on three lines
-are written in present tense, using concrete images and a seasonal word, or seasonal reference - a kigo*
-should not rhyme
-should have two juxtaposed concrete images
The goal of a haiku is to capture a single moment with very few words.
Good Luck in the contest.
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Thank you so very much for your thought feedback, I sincerely appreciate all the time that you provide. I'm always looking to learn more and really appreciate your insight.
I know most of us are ready for spring, and while I am anxious for spring I must say I am not at all ready for the humid summer that follows.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Smiles,
Teresa :)
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You are just like me, Teresa. I don't mind a summer morning or evening. And I enjoy beach time at our cottage on the Washdemoak. But I'm not a lover of heat. I prefer spring and fall the most. This winter has been one of the worst in many years here is southern New Brunswick. I can't wait for spring. Seeing that flock of robins the other day, across the street from my daughter's house, really gave me some hope.
(hugs)
Kimbob
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Teresa. What a lovely poem you have here. Up here in Michigan the cardinals stick it out all winter long. I don't know how, but I am always struck by the male's magnificent red color in contrast to the snowy branches.
Come on spring!
ps. Did you ever finish that novel you were going to write? I just finished mine called "Fatal Beauty" (in my portfolio) Love to know what you think someday. Bob (Mastery)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Hi, Teresa. What a lovely poem you have here. Up here in Michigan the cardinals stick it out all winter long. I don't know how, but I am always struck by the male's magnificent red color in contrast to the snowy branches.
Come on spring!
ps. Did you ever finish that novel you were going to write? I just finished mine called "Fatal Beauty" (in my portfolio) Love to know what you think someday. Bob (Mastery)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Bob,
Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. Congratulations on completing your novel!!! Unfortunately I have not finished mine, I'm working on three at the same time, but with work and family life I have not been able to carve time out like I need to. I keep working on it and never give up.
Smiles,
Teresa :)
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It took me nearly a year to complete, finishing one chapter (polished) per week here on FS. It won Book of The Month eight months in a row and I am very proud of course. My best advice to you. Take your time and work on one Novel at a time until it is complete. Sounds like you are juggling too much at one time. Bob
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You are so sweet, thank you for sharing such wonderful advice. I wish I could focus on one project at a time, but my thoughts jump around and I'm always afraid of forgetting something so I'm always writing on little note pads.
You are wonderful thank you again!
Smiles,
Teresa :)
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Notes are great. Never stop that. I carry a small pad with me always so I can jot down an idea for a short story when I see it. but getting involved with paragraphing and chsapters etc...? I don't see how a writer can do that with three books going. good Luck though, Teresa. bob
Comment from mermaids
Love your words about the cardinal,I have quite a few in my yard here on Cape Cod. Your words create a picture of nature that is enticing. Spring will come.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Love your words about the cardinal,I have quite a few in my yard here on Cape Cod. Your words create a picture of nature that is enticing. Spring will come.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Thank you so very much, I really appreciate your encouragement and kind words. Indeed cardinals are beautiful and add color everywhere they go.
Comment from ravenblack
I have always been drawn to the image of a cardinal against the snow, the vibrant red as if they are a little flame. In their own way , I think that they do contribute to the melting of the snow.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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I have always been drawn to the image of a cardinal against the snow, the vibrant red as if they are a little flame. In their own way , I think that they do contribute to the melting of the snow.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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:) Smiles!! I tried to get a picture of him in the snow, but he was smart enough to stay in the branches. Thank you so much for your kind review :)
Smiles,
Teresa
Comment from Domino 2
This reads more as a three-line continuous statement than two lines of inter-connected imagery, and a separate observation of that snapshot in time ('satori')
However, you have the gift of conveying imagery, and this is an entertaining read.
Best wishes, Ted
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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This reads more as a three-line continuous statement than two lines of inter-connected imagery, and a separate observation of that snapshot in time ('satori')
However, you have the gift of conveying imagery, and this is an entertaining read.
Best wishes, Ted
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Ted,
Thank you so much for you very generous review and the great feedback.
Smiles,
Teresa :)
Comment from RodG
We have had a red cardinal and his mate around all winter because I've kept the feeder filled. You certainly have done a fine job of describing this one in your haiku. Easy to visualize the "cardinal's contrast" to the white winter. And you are absolute correct in saying its presence "gives hope for springtime." Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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We have had a red cardinal and his mate around all winter because I've kept the feeder filled. You certainly have done a fine job of describing this one in your haiku. Easy to visualize the "cardinal's contrast" to the white winter. And you are absolute correct in saying its presence "gives hope for springtime." Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for your very kind review and the wonderful feedback. :)
Smiles,
Teresa
