Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "I Thought I Was Fine"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

8 total reviews 
Comment from CR Delport
Excellent
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Most people will never know how we really feel and what we really looked behind the walls we put up to shield ourselves. Thanks for sharing this well written poem.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
    Thank you.
Comment from Misrael
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What a sad poem about the loss of a child. Yet there is a sense of contentment because of the bond between husband and wife and the fact they still have there other children. Good read and keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you, Misrael.
Comment from Irish Rain
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Wonderful entry into this contest, so sad...looking at what was left, dreams that won't be realized, you have given this a most appropriate title! Blessings tonight!

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you. Inspired by Loyd Taylor's picture, and he wrote a poem first with the same title. I haven't read his yet though.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Excellent
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This is a dark and brooding piece of writing from the author in this post. This shows us the secret heartache behind a public smiling face. Very well done indeed.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you, Tomes.
reply by Tomes Johnston on 23-Feb-2014
    My pleasure
Comment from dennis0530
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This piece is indeed written with a heavy heart. All the more touching and heart-rending because it is biographical.

The character is strong and sophisticated on one hand but vulnerable and human on the other. Like many of us who have to wear a "double-personality" for reassurance and survival, the writer is admired. Carrying out responsibilities and duties by day, the author succumbs to her motherly side at night.

Waking up from her sleep at night and being drawn into the room of the beloved departed child could be a sign of soul connection. Perhaps these nocturnal visits give emotional sustenance to a loving mother.


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you.
Comment from TOMORAL
Excellent
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Oh, this breaks my heart. The dreams you had from which you won't awake. This is very well done with perfect flow and meter. Best of luck to you. Blessings~

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you, TOMORAL.
Comment from padumachitta
Excellent
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For under the joy
Lies a heavy heartache
For the dreams that you had
From which you won't awake.

Hello.
A sad poem but well written. Ah, the face we have in public...

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Excellent
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Dear Aiona - this certainly catches that heaviness within the aches dealt with at night. I thought you managed to have me "feel" this - which makes it a powerful moment to read. Not sure "awake" should "wake" ?? But still your story poem is a powerful release. Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2014
    Thank you, Maureen.