Wall of Mirrors
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Ramona is skating on the edge"When the harvest reaped is evil
26 total reviews
Comment from steevie
This is fantasic, Dossie! The drama had me spellbound and the action never let up for a second. I'm so glad that I had time to review and read this story about Ramona. There is no doubt that this woman has severe mental issues.
smiles
steve
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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This is fantasic, Dossie! The drama had me spellbound and the action never let up for a second. I'm so glad that I had time to review and read this story about Ramona. There is no doubt that this woman has severe mental issues.
smiles
steve
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thanks my friend!
Comment from alexisleech
I didn't realise you had turned this into a book, so was delighted to find the message alerting me to the next chapter. I find it very believable, having had a mother who was regularly hospitalised because of her post sixty alcohol induced antics. According to her, everyone else in the institution was fat, mad, or both - and she never hesitated to tell them! It's horrible when you have to apologise for someone you want to love.
Alexis xx
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
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I didn't realise you had turned this into a book, so was delighted to find the message alerting me to the next chapter. I find it very believable, having had a mother who was regularly hospitalised because of her post sixty alcohol induced antics. According to her, everyone else in the institution was fat, mad, or both - and she never hesitated to tell them! It's horrible when you have to apologise for someone you want to love.
Alexis xx
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
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Thanks again for this six-star rating. It sounds like you had quite a time, but G-d in his infinite wisdom knows why certain things happen. You got through it, and your mother was blessed to have had you. Bless you. Dossie
Comment from Sylvia Page
you?ll watch mines/mine, Angela??
Hello Dossie,
Each time I read and reviewed this it was gone lost in maintenance.
Enjoyed the antics of Ramona. Look forward to the next chapter.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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you?ll watch mines/mine, Angela??
Hello Dossie,
Each time I read and reviewed this it was gone lost in maintenance.
Enjoyed the antics of Ramona. Look forward to the next chapter.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Sylvia for reviewing and rating this one. I appreciate it. As for editing my own work, I'm lousy at it, but I think I am correct in using "mine" rather than "mines." Mine is possessive; I'm not sure how I'd use "mines." I'm delighted you enjoyed reading this chapter. Now, I must decide what to do with Ramona now that she has everyone thinking she's hopelessly insane.
http://mattcogswell.hubpages.com/hub/Mines-is-Not-a-Possessive-Pronoun
Comment from Lovewritingstuff
Hi Dossie. I look forward to see what's going to happen with Ramona. Her husband won't seem to be patient much longer, her son won't forgive her for killing his father and she may even go to jail. It seems like karma is getting her.
At the moment she sounds very disturbing, mental health problem, it seems. You showed this well, her despair and confusion, and also add well a hint of humour. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Hi Dossie. I look forward to see what's going to happen with Ramona. Her husband won't seem to be patient much longer, her son won't forgive her for killing his father and she may even go to jail. It seems like karma is getting her.
At the moment she sounds very disturbing, mental health problem, it seems. You showed this well, her despair and confusion, and also add well a hint of humour. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much for taking time from your busy schedule to read and rate this one. Yes, Ramona is in a fix now; she must continue playing crazy or face a trial for her deeds. There is a catch, the police or psychiatric hasn't considered, and it's going to be in Ramona's favor. Be blessed!
Comment from Selina Stambi
Oh my, dear Dossie,
What a tremendous romp this was - especially the injection on the hanging cheeks! Loved it!!
xxx
Sonali :)
mother wants to call it quit(s).
removed the restraints from her wrists that (bound) her to the bed
Every staff (member?) on the ward was deployed
citing the (staff) were not to use
of listening to Melody Jenkins(') snores, Ramona
she yelled obscenities (at) the top of her lungs and
bounced
Before either of the three (staff members?) could .. staff doesn't exist in the plural
You asked for it, you losers. (no apostrophe needed here) You, you bastards, I?d
one of the workmen's walkup ladder(s) and injected a dose
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Oh my, dear Dossie,
What a tremendous romp this was - especially the injection on the hanging cheeks! Loved it!!
xxx
Sonali :)
mother wants to call it quit(s).
removed the restraints from her wrists that (bound) her to the bed
Every staff (member?) on the ward was deployed
citing the (staff) were not to use
of listening to Melody Jenkins(') snores, Ramona
she yelled obscenities (at) the top of her lungs and
bounced
Before either of the three (staff members?) could .. staff doesn't exist in the plural
You asked for it, you losers. (no apostrophe needed here) You, you bastards, I?d
one of the workmen's walkup ladder(s) and injected a dose
Comment Written 22-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Sonali! It is my promise to you, I will write a chapter that you won't have to edit. I am lousy at editing my own work. I do read it over, but I simply don't see some of the stuff I need to see that's wrong. Nevertheless, I am making a promise to you I'll find a way to make it happen - LOL. Be blessed. Dossie
Comment from Erik McGinley
This was a funny read though maybe not so funny in reality.
It reminds me of a time in hospital when a woman from the next ward decided she wanted to do some circuit training and started dashing in mad giggling circle around the connecting corridors with one of the staff in breathless pursuit, unable to catch her.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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This was a funny read though maybe not so funny in reality.
It reminds me of a time in hospital when a woman from the next ward decided she wanted to do some circuit training and started dashing in mad giggling circle around the connecting corridors with one of the staff in breathless pursuit, unable to catch her.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Erik, for reading this one and for seeing both the humor and the dark side of mental illness. I appreciate your review and comments. Be blessed. Dossie
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It WAS quite funny! She won! :)
Comment from padumachitta
Hello. Romana what a character to write. This is full of great dialgoe. your use of verbs is wonderful. Nothing pedistrian about them.
I just wonder where this will all go...
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Hello. Romana what a character to write. This is full of great dialgoe. your use of verbs is wonderful. Nothing pedistrian about them.
I just wonder where this will all go...
Comment Written 20-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks, padumachitta, for reading, commenting and rating this chapter; I appreciate it! Be blessed! Dossie
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Dossie. I like your down-to-earth, storytelling style. And you have great imagery, like this: "With trembling hand, he took another cigarette from the pack and lit it. He took a long drag before turning to Henry. ?What would make you say something like that??
And this: "Ramona took a tentative step onto the first tee grid. The building was old, and was well constructed. The tee grids that held the title were made of heavy metal and allowed her to stand on them without bending. About ten feet out, she felt more at ease"
Suggestions: " home that terrible day to discover they?d taken away his beloved Ramona." (this is a bit over the top, I think, Dossie. We already know he is distraught. Just say: "home that terrible day they'd hospitalized her."
also: "I?ve seen harden murderers come through..." (hardened)
great job overall, Dossie. Bob
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Hi, Dossie. I like your down-to-earth, storytelling style. And you have great imagery, like this: "With trembling hand, he took another cigarette from the pack and lit it. He took a long drag before turning to Henry. ?What would make you say something like that??
And this: "Ramona took a tentative step onto the first tee grid. The building was old, and was well constructed. The tee grids that held the title were made of heavy metal and allowed her to stand on them without bending. About ten feet out, she felt more at ease"
Suggestions: " home that terrible day to discover they?d taken away his beloved Ramona." (this is a bit over the top, I think, Dossie. We already know he is distraught. Just say: "home that terrible day they'd hospitalized her."
also: "I?ve seen harden murderers come through..." (hardened)
great job overall, Dossie. Bob
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Bob, for reading, commenting and rating this chapter; I appreciate it and the tips! Be blessed! Dossie
Comment from emrpoems
Excellent use of dialogue
Good use of high impact verbs like rail shriek and cuss.
Lots of suspense and intrigue
Kept my interest throughout
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Excellent use of dialogue
Good use of high impact verbs like rail shriek and cuss.
Lots of suspense and intrigue
Kept my interest throughout
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Thanks, emrpoems, for reading, commenting and rating this chapter; I appreciate it! Be blessed! Dossie
Comment from boxergirl
Good job with your continuation of wall of mirrors. Ramona is quite a character and it will be interesting to see how this plays out for her.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Good job with your continuation of wall of mirrors. Ramona is quite a character and it will be interesting to see how this plays out for her.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2014
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Hello, boxergirl, thanks for reading, commenting and rating this chapter; I appreciate it! Be blessed! Dossie
