Writing Prompt Entries 2014
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "He Loves Her Not"The clue is in the title!
12 total reviews
Comment from Erik McGinley
I did not like this poem. It's good but I did not like it.
A long time ago I was forced away from my girlfriend because I was sacked from my job for specious reasons.
If I had time to say anything or leave a note, I don't remember it.
I cried. Dry tears sitting on a bus home that I was unlikely to be able to afford to return on.
16 years later, a few months ago, I began to recover from the trauma induced amnesia that my sense of futility and impotence imposed that day as I was forced to leave behind a girl who had been raped by the people we worked with.
I see your poem and what it is saying but callousness or lack of caring is not always what separates people.
Sometimes you DO just have to try to go on. My mind blotted out something that would have crucified me because some part of it thought I should go on.
Instead of months of anguish, I suffered years of non-existence. Now I am suffering the anguish anyway that I would have suffered back then. Why did my mind deal with it that way? Who knows?
I understand the feelings in your poem but it hurt like hell to read it. I have no idea what my friend thought when she found out I was gone or what she was told by the people we worked with.
Sometimes I really admire that female capacity to put the past into the past and move on and sometimes it seems so callous. Men are expected too much I think, to be emotionless towers of strength that we often simply are not.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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I did not like this poem. It's good but I did not like it.
A long time ago I was forced away from my girlfriend because I was sacked from my job for specious reasons.
If I had time to say anything or leave a note, I don't remember it.
I cried. Dry tears sitting on a bus home that I was unlikely to be able to afford to return on.
16 years later, a few months ago, I began to recover from the trauma induced amnesia that my sense of futility and impotence imposed that day as I was forced to leave behind a girl who had been raped by the people we worked with.
I see your poem and what it is saying but callousness or lack of caring is not always what separates people.
Sometimes you DO just have to try to go on. My mind blotted out something that would have crucified me because some part of it thought I should go on.
Instead of months of anguish, I suffered years of non-existence. Now I am suffering the anguish anyway that I would have suffered back then. Why did my mind deal with it that way? Who knows?
I understand the feelings in your poem but it hurt like hell to read it. I have no idea what my friend thought when she found out I was gone or what she was told by the people we worked with.
Sometimes I really admire that female capacity to put the past into the past and move on and sometimes it seems so callous. Men are expected too much I think, to be emotionless towers of strength that we often simply are not.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2014
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Hi Erik, I'm so sorry that my poem kicked you in the guts (so to speak) and that you and your girlfriend suffered such trauma... both then and now.
I thank you for commenting on the poem, I do appreciate that it must've taken a lot for you to share those comments with me. Your final remark hit home with me... I am guilty for assuming my husband to be a tower of strength, I will try to remember that he has feelings as real as mine.
The poem was fiction, I just wanted to try a prompt from a less obvious angle. Again, I'm sorry to have caused you to revisit what happened.
Kindest regards, Debra
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I reply in kind for the motions moods and thoughts that other people raise.
I am not very extrovert or very bleeding heart per se and I have no emotional mission in life.
Sometimes though someone here writes something that touches me very deeply, often obversely to what they wrote.
It's my way of saying thank you to pass back the feelings that someone gives me a reason to think about.
BT, did you notice that, in your profile image, your lipstick goes beyond the edge of your lips?
Don't worry about my sensitivity too much and next time get him to take the photo Before he kisses you ;)
Only joking. Thank you for being human, Debbie :)
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Thank you too, Erik!
I hadn't noticed my smudged lipstick.... I don't often wear it because it smudges ;) Debbie
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I like you! You have a sense of humour :)
You also write pretty well, both humour and more sensitive stuff. I'll look forward to reading more of it :)
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I like you too Erik :) You're very direct... refreshing!
Comment from BeasPeas
Exceptionally nice. Well written and presented. Image is perfect to accompany your words. Many readers will be able to identify with your story and outcome giving wide appeal.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Exceptionally nice. Well written and presented. Image is perfect to accompany your words. Many readers will be able to identify with your story and outcome giving wide appeal.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2014
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Hi BeasPeas :) Thank you so very much for your lovely review and 6 star rating....Wow! I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you again and kindest regards, Debra :)
Comment from Delores J. Howard
You threw a curve ball didn't you? He loves her NOT--and--she doesn't care, not any more! Hated that love was lost. However, I loved your work.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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You threw a curve ball didn't you? He loves her NOT--and--she doesn't care, not any more! Hated that love was lost. However, I loved your work.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you Delores for your wonderful review :) Kindest regards...
Comment from Lylise
This is a strong entry into the He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not writing prompt. It is well written and displays feelings and insights into romance. I enjoyed this. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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This is a strong entry into the He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not writing prompt. It is well written and displays feelings and insights into romance. I enjoyed this. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you Lylise for your wonderful review and good luck wishes :) Kindest regards...
Comment from barleygirl
WOW! Good job! I love this . . . the way you've carried the phrase "He Loves Her Not . . . " to the next logical steps. It's an original & refreshing treatment for this tired old topic. Also, haven't we all known this person at least once in our lives? Great job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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WOW! Good job! I love this . . . the way you've carried the phrase "He Loves Her Not . . . " to the next logical steps. It's an original & refreshing treatment for this tired old topic. Also, haven't we all known this person at least once in our lives? Great job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you so very much barley girl for your wonderful encouraging review and good luck wishes :) Kindest regards...
Comment from MagKing
Well this poem is really good and the picture goes along with it.
The poem reminds of Sir John Suckling's poem "Why so pale and wan fond lover"
I really do like the concept, and I think it's contest worthy
Good luck in the contest.
MagKing
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Well this poem is really good and the picture goes along with it.
The poem reminds of Sir John Suckling's poem "Why so pale and wan fond lover"
I really do like the concept, and I think it's contest worthy
Good luck in the contest.
MagKing
Comment Written 20-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you MagKing for your lovely review and good luck wishes. Kindest regards... :)
Comment from w.j.debi
Now that is a different take on the "he loves me or not" tale. Looks like it works out well for both of them. There is almost a giddy feeling to the ending. Best of luck in the contest with your creative write.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Now that is a different take on the "he loves me or not" tale. Looks like it works out well for both of them. There is almost a giddy feeling to the ending. Best of luck in the contest with your creative write.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much w.j.debi for your lovely review and good luck wishes. Kindest regards...:)
Comment from purds
I enjoyed this. It has good rhythm and flows well. I liked that it went a full circle and released them both from a place that was going nowhere.
It also had a touch of humour.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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I enjoyed this. It has good rhythm and flows well. I liked that it went a full circle and released them both from a place that was going nowhere.
It also had a touch of humour.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much purds for your lovely review :) Kindest regards...
Comment from emrpoems
Seems his leaving has no effect on her as a matter of fact she seems relieved.
She reads his note, her eyes are dry.
She doesn't care for where or why
or who or what has made him stray,
all that belongs to yesterday...
Released at last, she now can fly.
He loves her not!
A good lesson to those who have been left by their parties.
never be depressed but find a new lif e
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Seems his leaving has no effect on her as a matter of fact she seems relieved.
She reads his note, her eyes are dry.
She doesn't care for where or why
or who or what has made him stray,
all that belongs to yesterday...
Released at last, she now can fly.
He loves her not!
A good lesson to those who have been left by their parties.
never be depressed but find a new lif e
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you emrpoems for your great review, I appreciate it :) Kindest regards...
Comment from pipersfancy
Very smooth flow of words with good rhyming here. I love how you've turned table and shifted the perspective! What begins as a sad unraveling of love, turns into a blessing as the reader realizes the ending is going in an entirely different direction than was foreshadowed!
Well done!
PF
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Very smooth flow of words with good rhyming here. I love how you've turned table and shifted the perspective! What begins as a sad unraveling of love, turns into a blessing as the reader realizes the ending is going in an entirely different direction than was foreshadowed!
Well done!
PF
Comment Written 19-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much PF for your wonderful review :) I appreciate it! Kindest regards...:)