The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "It is a Dog's Life Sometimes"Subtitle: God Never Lets Go!
29 total reviews
Comment from MTF1955
What an interesting life. You have met some wonderful people in our course of teaching them music. It must be especially nice that one girl went on to be a music teacher herself. Nicely done. Mary
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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What an interesting life. You have met some wonderful people in our course of teaching them music. It must be especially nice that one girl went on to be a music teacher herself. Nicely done. Mary
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thanks very much I hope you got in quick enough to get some rewards. I put this up again as a result of watching "My Fair Lady" and it reminded me of all the Musicals songs I taught back in the old days. I promise I will look for your stuff. Good to make new friends.
Comment from Curly Girly
Well done, Sankey. It was fascinating to hear of your experiences with AMWAY. Urgh. Been there and done that too.
Amway
Avon
Herbalife
Undercoverwear
... they're all pyramid schemes and scams.
A waste of time and money.
Giving kids lessons turns into a sort of daycare. Yeah, I know, I used to give kids riding lessons. Those sort of parents can be quite annoying.
Nicole
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Well done, Sankey. It was fascinating to hear of your experiences with AMWAY. Urgh. Been there and done that too.
Amway
Avon
Herbalife
Undercoverwear
... they're all pyramid schemes and scams.
A waste of time and money.
Giving kids lessons turns into a sort of daycare. Yeah, I know, I used to give kids riding lessons. Those sort of parents can be quite annoying.
Nicole
Comment Written 03-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Thanks very much always good to meet others who have been there and done that.
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Hey you, are you still in here? I had thought I had fixed up a repeated paragraph oin here but finally done today. Book is up for more Funny money if you missed any chapters.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
AMWAY? My word, I haven't heard anything about them in YEARS! They did have some good products though.
Sounds like they were indeed a "fly-by-night" organization where the richer get richer and the hard working poor get poorer.
Interesting and well written portion of your bio, and you are so right when you state:
"it is better to make friends of clients than to make clients of friends."
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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AMWAY? My word, I haven't heard anything about them in YEARS! They did have some good products though.
Sounds like they were indeed a "fly-by-night" organization where the richer get richer and the hard working poor get poorer.
Interesting and well written portion of your bio, and you are so right when you state:
"it is better to make friends of clients than to make clients of friends."
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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Thanks Brett, I appreciate you coming by. I had the idea to come in here again, seeing we just watched My Fasir Lady again.
Comment from Possummagic
I've read through your chapter. Where I think that you've led an interesting life, your story needs a lot of work editing what you have written. Generally all the way through the editing requires a lot of attention. For example in a story or novel numbers should be spelt, (twenty) rather than expressed as numbers (20).
"Because as you can guess, everyone you sponsor's purchases push your level up." I'm not really sure what that sentence means. I want you to continue writing because you have good stories to tell and experiences to share. However, you really should do some work on your editing and the way your sentences are structured. Good luck. PM Iā??ve re-read the chapter in question and maintain my impression that where you certainly have had an interesting and varied history, your grammar does need attention in some areas. Iā??ve given you a five because you seem to be well regarded by your peers, so I have chosen as they have, to focus on the content rather than the quality of your work. Honestly you have some great tales to tell but if you sent your work to a ā??Line Editorā?? you would see the changes that they made with regard to your grammar. I wish you well. Blessings. PM
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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I've read through your chapter. Where I think that you've led an interesting life, your story needs a lot of work editing what you have written. Generally all the way through the editing requires a lot of attention. For example in a story or novel numbers should be spelt, (twenty) rather than expressed as numbers (20).
"Because as you can guess, everyone you sponsor's purchases push your level up." I'm not really sure what that sentence means. I want you to continue writing because you have good stories to tell and experiences to share. However, you really should do some work on your editing and the way your sentences are structured. Good luck. PM Iā??ve re-read the chapter in question and maintain my impression that where you certainly have had an interesting and varied history, your grammar does need attention in some areas. Iā??ve given you a five because you seem to be well regarded by your peers, so I have chosen as they have, to focus on the content rather than the quality of your work. Honestly you have some great tales to tell but if you sent your work to a ā??Line Editorā?? you would see the changes that they made with regard to your grammar. I wish you well. Blessings. PM
Comment Written 01-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
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Thanks for the review. Anyone who has had anything to do with AMWAY probably would understand more. I am not sure why you gave a four on this. Was that an accident? Maybe if I improve it, we can earn another point. I will fix the number thing I have been pulled up on that a few times. I guess I must be soft I don't give under five to anyone. Even with loads of spags.
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You need to do a lot of work on your editing. If you edit this entire piece and submit it again I'll change my number to a five. If you've been picked up before for numbers, yet you continue to express them as numerals, it means you haven't learnt anything about editing. I don't want to be mean but that's what the scoring is all about. A five is excellent, needs no work. A four is lots of errors that need to be fixed. Otherwise why bother to score? We never learn unless others edit our work and point out our errors. PM
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Hi again I have done a fairly strong edit and fixed all the numbers and made some changes let em know what you think now thanks.
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I just wrote to you. Changes have been made. Thanks
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Hey (I did the fiex you suggested and even more that a lot of you also missed (I actually repeated a whole paragraph?.now gone.
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Excellent! PM
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Thanks very much for coming back.
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Hey n ow its EXCELLENT can you fix the stars!
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Hi this chapter number 23 thanks
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Back in September last year I fixed this and you had not been back to up the score some. I am about to run this through one more promotion that you may not see, but would love it if you would fix the score as you promised you would thanks.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
The title, 'It's A Dog's Life Sometimes', was an excellent choice.- It grabs the reader's attention.
This is well-written material.
Nicely polished.
Free of grammatical errors!
Good artwork. The images are remarkable.- They fit the story well.
The author's notes are very much appreciated.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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The title, 'It's A Dog's Life Sometimes', was an excellent choice.- It grabs the reader's attention.
This is well-written material.
Nicely polished.
Free of grammatical errors!
Good artwork. The images are remarkable.- They fit the story well.
The author's notes are very much appreciated.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Thanks enthiusiastic reviewer as I just said this will be the chapter that will be split and added to will let you know when it hapens. My friend wants more on AMWAY and Some other stuff. Where are you by the way I am in Australia if you have not figured that out already. Cheers will check your stuff soon. I think we are gonna be good friends.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Geoff. Well I finallygot through and am starting to review your chapters as I can. If and when I find time, Im will go back and read some earlier ones. I am assuming you want blunt honesty in my reviews. I can "candy it up" but that would not be fair to you and actually dishonest. So here goes.
As for this chapter, it is interesting but in some places you tend to wander and assume your readers know terms like this one:
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She, the wife of a guy we called the "Mosman Mumbler*" got her $AU50 when I got the car insurance. Her husband John the *MM was called that, because at all his "inspirational" or maybe "perspirational"... meetings we could never understand him as he never opened his mouth! I was not the only one that could not understand him, neither did the hearing folks! It was also at that particular meeting at "Snake" and Faye's place I met Jack and Beth Wilson. It was many years later I met them again at our church and it took a few minutes to figure out where I knew them from previously. ( $AU50) what does that mean? How does that convert to American money? It all depends on what audience you are looking for with this book....if american, you must keep that in mind when you are writing.
And I got lost here due to your wandering a bit "She, the wife of a guy we called the "Mosman Mumbler*" got her $AU50 when I got the car insurance." What car insurance? LOL. and who are these people? You don't describe anyone. I have no idea what they look like and mcannot picture them. That is all up to the writer (you) to make clear to us.
Also, the subject matter of this chapter is a bit "dry" and therefore you need to make it more interesting. I see this as more of a diary than an autobiography, Geoff. To be honest, the entire thingm about Amway could have been cut in half and still got your points across. by the way, Amway headquarters is in Grand Rapids Michigan, just fifty miles from me.
They are a very successful coproration and of course that success from an individual's standpoint is the more you hustle the more you make. It sales...pure and simple. If one busts their ass they can make a ton of money. There is no easy way though.
Here again: "So, in the late 70's in Penrith, I joined the L.N.P. I had, previously to this, in Sydney, some years before, been a part of the "Young Liberals." (americans cannot understand this L. N. P. stuff. It all gets too involved and as with any politics is not interesting fodder for an autobiography.
In conclusion, Geoff, I think this is much too long for one chapter, especially considering it is not a very mexciting time in your life (at least not to this reader)
I think you need to put some "life" into the writing by making your life or story different in some way from all others...that is waht keeps an reader's interest.
Keep at it, mate. Blessings, Bob
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Hi, Geoff. Well I finallygot through and am starting to review your chapters as I can. If and when I find time, Im will go back and read some earlier ones. I am assuming you want blunt honesty in my reviews. I can "candy it up" but that would not be fair to you and actually dishonest. So here goes.
As for this chapter, it is interesting but in some places you tend to wander and assume your readers know terms like this one:
"
She, the wife of a guy we called the "Mosman Mumbler*" got her $AU50 when I got the car insurance. Her husband John the *MM was called that, because at all his "inspirational" or maybe "perspirational"... meetings we could never understand him as he never opened his mouth! I was not the only one that could not understand him, neither did the hearing folks! It was also at that particular meeting at "Snake" and Faye's place I met Jack and Beth Wilson. It was many years later I met them again at our church and it took a few minutes to figure out where I knew them from previously. ( $AU50) what does that mean? How does that convert to American money? It all depends on what audience you are looking for with this book....if american, you must keep that in mind when you are writing.
And I got lost here due to your wandering a bit "She, the wife of a guy we called the "Mosman Mumbler*" got her $AU50 when I got the car insurance." What car insurance? LOL. and who are these people? You don't describe anyone. I have no idea what they look like and mcannot picture them. That is all up to the writer (you) to make clear to us.
Also, the subject matter of this chapter is a bit "dry" and therefore you need to make it more interesting. I see this as more of a diary than an autobiography, Geoff. To be honest, the entire thingm about Amway could have been cut in half and still got your points across. by the way, Amway headquarters is in Grand Rapids Michigan, just fifty miles from me.
They are a very successful coproration and of course that success from an individual's standpoint is the more you hustle the more you make. It sales...pure and simple. If one busts their ass they can make a ton of money. There is no easy way though.
Here again: "So, in the late 70's in Penrith, I joined the L.N.P. I had, previously to this, in Sydney, some years before, been a part of the "Young Liberals." (americans cannot understand this L. N. P. stuff. It all gets too involved and as with any politics is not interesting fodder for an autobiography.
In conclusion, Geoff, I think this is much too long for one chapter, especially considering it is not a very mexciting time in your life (at least not to this reader)
I think you need to put some "life" into the writing by making your life or story different in some way from all others...that is waht keeps an reader's interest.
Keep at it, mate. Blessings, Bob
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Ok Bob glad to have you back on board I will work on this. I don't mind criticism for sure. And I take your point on the differences in our money. I need to explain that more. Most of my reviewers accept the differences between Aussie and Uncle sam. There was a time when our Dollar was better than Uncle sam but that was such a brief thing. Glad to have you back oin board even if it hurts hehe. Love you buddy. I like honesty. I guess the chapter illustrates a lot of the hurt with the Amway and the Liberal crowd (LNP- LIberla National party like your Republicans...opposite to DEMONCRAP.
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Some further comments to my last on your review. I thank you, sincerely for your bluntness in your review. I will work on maybe splitting the chapter up...I have split chapters before and created extra. And I will also work on making it clearer for you 'Up Over" folks as well as for us, 'Down Under" ones. This book was more of a personal Autobiography thing and was not meant to be a Novel; as such. Also, I hope you don't mind but I do consider you a professional. Even though I will have as the Aussie writer David Malouf has said more than one book under my belt, eventually...Not all prose...some Spiritual Poems and another is my carols book, a funny poems book and one other of more ordinary poems and Essays and Compositions etc. still don't qualify as a writer or even any kind of professional. His saying has been well accepted here..."You can't call yourself an author until you have a couple of books under your belt" Well, friend you CAN as you do have a couple already and I forget if the Joey story will be number 3 or 4 or??
Thanks for your help. God Bless.
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Thanks for your comments, my friend. :) Bob
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I'm glad I never got involved in pyramid sales. I had lots of opportunities. I had friends that had a new sales game going every time I saw them, but none of them panned out.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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I'm glad I never got involved in pyramid sales. I had lots of opportunities. I had friends that had a new sales game going every time I saw them, but none of them panned out.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Nope there is a new one around called Mannateck and it is destroying churches like AMWAY did years ago. Our pastor has a rule NO Marketing in church. Avon and Amway etc are out! Thanks for the great review.
Comment from MelB
I didn't know they had Amway Down Under, but I suppose it did go global. We have big Amway Centers here not far from me. Another nice chapter on your work history.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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I didn't know they had Amway Down Under, but I suppose it did go global. We have big Amway Centers here not far from me. Another nice chapter on your work history.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Thanks Sis. I think people are picking up I am a bit annoyed with FS. The support is really good atm. I think one of the big problems for me is the number of Americans that do not want to under stand our differences in English and Grammar etc.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter on you life story and experiences on the work force. To work for commission never works out very well. Either work for a salary or start up your own business some way or another.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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A very well-written chapter on you life story and experiences on the work force. To work for commission never works out very well. Either work for a salary or start up your own business some way or another.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Hi Sandra thanks for this. Not sure iof rewards were still going hope so. Appreciate you coming along. Lord Bless.
Comment from royowen
I taught 2 African boys the guitar from when they were very young, they both "stuck", there pastor father had been murdered in the Congo, Elaine and I became their exofficio grandparents. I'm proud to say they now play on the platform at church. You certainly had a few jobs, as indeed did I in those years. Your music teaching was very interesting Geoff. Good write, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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I taught 2 African boys the guitar from when they were very young, they both "stuck", there pastor father had been murdered in the Congo, Elaine and I became their exofficio grandparents. I'm proud to say they now play on the platform at church. You certainly had a few jobs, as indeed did I in those years. Your music teaching was very interesting Geoff. Good write, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Thanks again bro as I said to someone not sure if the reward had run out on these. Much appreciated. Noticing a few of my favourite writers have gone and I am starting to regret re-joining for 2 years. But the Year was nearly as much so thought it worth it. Are you noticing some of the really good ones are disappearing?
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I'm afraid so, I don't know why, Mark Fowler has had a stroke, he lives in Adelaide, but I can't locate him. Bro,