Noises of War.
May we never hear them...(jaq cee)23 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
Onomatopoeia! I love it! Subject matter not so much. But who loves war, unless one is a sociopath. I am impressed that you even managed to make it rhyme. I like rhyming poems.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Onomatopoeia! I love it! Subject matter not so much. But who loves war, unless one is a sociopath. I am impressed that you even managed to make it rhyme. I like rhyming poems.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Many thanks for your fab review Aiona. Thankfully not so many people love war. :) Jaq xx
Comment from Domino 2
Many congrats on your well-deserved win, Jaq.
Top meter and rhyme enhance your VERY dramatic war sounds.
I really like the 'wooo wooo' intermittent sounds too.
A top quality write for sure that re-creates what it must have been like hiding in a shelter in WW2.
Cheers, Ted x
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Many congrats on your well-deserved win, Jaq.
Top meter and rhyme enhance your VERY dramatic war sounds.
I really like the 'wooo wooo' intermittent sounds too.
A top quality write for sure that re-creates what it must have been like hiding in a shelter in WW2.
Cheers, Ted x
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you so very much for the cracking review and the magic rating my friend. Sometimes I manage to pull one out of the bag :) Jaq xxx
Comment from donaldcolson
A very good poem with good use of cacophony. It is clear, easy to follow and understand. And you have done an admirable of bringing the experience of war to us. don
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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A very good poem with good use of cacophony. It is clear, easy to follow and understand. And you have done an admirable of bringing the experience of war to us. don
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Don your review is very much appreciated as is your exceptional rating. I thank you so much. :) Jaq x
Comment from reconciled
-smile-...very creative. Hi Jaq...-smile- I'm happy you won, this is an unusual write and I'm glad it was recognized. Yes indeed wars a created by men who never taste the bitter tears....leaving the salt to the slavery they rule. Alright....loving you up...Michael....you're daughters name....I always loved that name...ever since Dr. Quinn...-wink-...-smile-
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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-smile-...very creative. Hi Jaq...-smile- I'm happy you won, this is an unusual write and I'm glad it was recognized. Yes indeed wars a created by men who never taste the bitter tears....leaving the salt to the slavery they rule. Alright....loving you up...Michael....you're daughters name....I always loved that name...ever since Dr. Quinn...-wink-...-smile-
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Dr Quinn - Medicine Woman. :) I loved that too. Michaela was the only name I had chosen for a girl. I loved that name. Obviously still do.
Many thanks for your fantastic rating and review my friend. Glad you enjoyed it. Much love, Jaq xxx
Comment from emrpoems
I think you did a good job of using words that create noises.
woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo
RAT-A-TAT-TAT
WHOOSH and WHINE
Ack-Ack and the many other phrases. Congrats on your win
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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I think you did a good job of using words that create noises.
woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo
RAT-A-TAT-TAT
WHOOSH and WHINE
Ack-Ack and the many other phrases. Congrats on your win
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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emrpoems your review is very much appreciated, many thanks indeed :) Jaq xx
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow! This is an incredible poem! Congratulations on a win so well-deserved. This is very powerful, the imagery taking your reader right into the scene your words describe.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Wow! This is an incredible poem! Congratulations on a win so well-deserved. This is very powerful, the imagery taking your reader right into the scene your words describe.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Dawn thanks for this excellent review. I am glad it managed to capture the picture so well for you. Much appreciated, Jaq xx
Comment from Gungalo
An air of silence permeates
as the aircraft's DRONE abates.
Now it's time to re-emerge
to the chaos war creates.
Ah this is wonderful Jaq and well worthy of winning the contest. Beautiful recreation of those noises.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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An air of silence permeates
as the aircraft's DRONE abates.
Now it's time to re-emerge
to the chaos war creates.
Ah this is wonderful Jaq and well worthy of winning the contest. Beautiful recreation of those noises.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much Gungalo. I always appreciate your input. :) Jaq xx
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Smile.
Comment from rouskin
woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo
It really deserves to be a winner. Congratulations !
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo woooowooowoooowooo
It really deserves to be a winner. Congratulations !
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Lol thank you so much rouskin :) Jaq x
Comment from Pilot2Pen
This is an excellent poem that is worthy of the win. It is short, to the point and conveys the brutality of war.
It reads well except for the second stanza, last line--it is a bit wordy. I would suggest eliminating the words "as they" and change guns to "shells."
If I could read the poem with my eyes closed, I would be able to hear the explosions and smell the death.
Good work.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
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This is an excellent poem that is worthy of the win. It is short, to the point and conveys the brutality of war.
It reads well except for the second stanza, last line--it is a bit wordy. I would suggest eliminating the words "as they" and change guns to "shells."
If I could read the poem with my eyes closed, I would be able to hear the explosions and smell the death.
Good work.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
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Ahh Pilot2Pen I will look at that suggestion. Many thanks for your wonderful review. :) Jaq xx
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Many thanks it does flow so much better :) Jaq x
Comment from Aaron James
Hi JAQ CEE
This is an excellent cacophony poem. In my mind I could hear it all. The interspersing of the siren at the start and between stanzas is a particularly graphic sound.
Good write.
Aaron
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
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Hi JAQ CEE
This is an excellent cacophony poem. In my mind I could hear it all. The interspersing of the siren at the start and between stanzas is a particularly graphic sound.
Good write.
Aaron
Comment Written 11-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2014
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Many thanks for a wonderful review Aaron. Glad you enjoyed it. :) Jaq x