Aiona's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Pass Me Already"Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.
6 total reviews
Comment from Bojenn
Very good! You stayed in the topic of actual road rage.
I empathize with you as your repetitious saying (which is effective) "pass me already" really rings true for those of us who don't want to be caught up in the hustle bustle of the road rage.
The tone is good and the feelings of apathy are very excellent.
Very nice poem.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Very good! You stayed in the topic of actual road rage.
I empathize with you as your repetitious saying (which is effective) "pass me already" really rings true for those of us who don't want to be caught up in the hustle bustle of the road rage.
The tone is good and the feelings of apathy are very excellent.
Very nice poem.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
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Thanks! Anything I could fix?
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It was a very good try. Write for yourself and write from the bottom of your heart. It doesn't get any better than from there...
Keep writing friend.
Comment from misscookie
Your photo of the madness is great. I never had road rage. maybe because I lived in the country and the traffic and homeland was not that popular yet. Now it's crazy. Due to several strokes I don't drive any more . I just ride and pray a lot.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Your photo of the madness is great. I never had road rage. maybe because I lived in the country and the traffic and homeland was not that popular yet. Now it's crazy. Due to several strokes I don't drive any more . I just ride and pray a lot.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2013
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Thanks, but the photo was not mine. It was the photo used for the contest. I too live in the country. I can't drive in cities. I'd total my car, for sure.
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I was born in the city learn to drive there And I hate the place.
I'm a country gal at heart, now I love going to the Broadway shows dinner and visiting friends and family but that about it.
I drove into the city a few times Its not my thing. LOL.
Comment from harmony13
An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well. The author gave a clear description of the scene. The reader was able to identify with the theme of this poem.
Going slower usually helps the aggressive driver to finally give up and pass. The poem made the reader smile.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2013
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An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well. The author gave a clear description of the scene. The reader was able to identify with the theme of this poem.
Going slower usually helps the aggressive driver to finally give up and pass. The poem made the reader smile.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2013
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Thanks!
Comment from Nottoway
Oh how you captured every reasonable driver's frustration. Great use of the repetitive closing lines in the first two stanzas. Then the third and fourth stanzas really bring it home. And finally,the last line sums it all up.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Oh how you captured every reasonable driver's frustration. Great use of the repetitive closing lines in the first two stanzas. Then the third and fourth stanzas really bring it home. And finally,the last line sums it all up.
Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Thank you. You can drive my car anytime!
Comment from RuralFrights
I like your style, and I like it that you apparently have your own style! How many times I've thought about slamming on those breaks! Funny, people in the rear think that they're the master. In fact, they are the slave. @#$%. Good write! And read....
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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I like your style, and I like it that you apparently have your own style! How many times I've thought about slamming on those breaks! Funny, people in the rear think that they're the master. In fact, they are the slave. @#$%. Good write! And read....
Comment Written 28-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Thank you. See you on the road sometime. Hopefully not in front of me. :)
Comment from Cindy Warren
I've often wondered the same thing. If they're in such a hurry, why not just pass? I'm usually pretty forgiving of other drivers, unless they're real jerks. They may have the same problem that I described in 'The Car From Koch.' That day everyone was mad at ME!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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I've often wondered the same thing. If they're in such a hurry, why not just pass? I'm usually pretty forgiving of other drivers, unless they're real jerks. They may have the same problem that I described in 'The Car From Koch.' That day everyone was mad at ME!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2013
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Yeah, this fanstory thing is addictive. I used another of my "2 posts a day" submitting to this! I couldn't help it! I logged on thinking I was going to post another scene to my screenplay. oh well!!! :)
