Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Gift"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

13 total reviews 
Comment from dragonpoet
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This is the gift of one very mad cat. Wouldn't the smell have given it away as not being chocolate although it might match the color and a piece of candy is more likely to be found on your pillow than this gift.

Good luck in the contest. Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
    LOL! Oh, this one lost the contest. That contest was 5 years ago. And it didn't smell. Squishy's poo was very hard and dry by the time I found it on the pillow. My roommates' pillows too. He was definitely one mad cat. He did this every time Maria went home to see her parents.
reply by dragonpoet on 12-Mar-2019
    You're welcome. I am glad it didn't smell. I just think about litterbox odor and was worried. It sound like jealousy too. Sorry it lost.

    JOan
Comment from Jacq77
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Hahahahaha... I didn't see that coming. It gave me a huge chuckle. It always amazes me how people can tell a whole story in so few words. Loved it! But did Squishy HAVE to do it on your pillow?? Poor you! :-)

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2015


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
    LOL! He was a vindictive cat. Cute, but vindictive. However, he was the reason, after I moved out to live on my own, that I got an orange cat of my own.
Comment from lakeport
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the gift, indeed cats can give you all kinds of surprises
that's a somwhat humorous 5/7/5/ poem.Good luck at the contest,God bless you. Hugs!lakeport.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2014


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2014
    Thanks, lakeport. :)
reply by lakeport on 06-Apr-2014
    your welcome,Hugs!lakeport.
Comment from Aaron James
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Thought I would pop by to return the compliment. I am glad I did. Your 5/7/5 made me smile which is just what the doctor ordered. I have nothing to say to help enhance the piece, I am only glad you refrained from using an accompanying image lol

Aaron x

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Heh! Thank you!
Comment from c_lucas
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First line has six syllable Suggestion, "Change pillow to bed"
A well written five-seven-five, poem. Why did you put it under the Horror and Thriller poetry category. It should be under Humor category. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2013
    Thank you. You're the second person who pointed out the first line has 6 syllables. It wasn't til after I posted that I realized I pronounce "chocolate" with two syllables, when it's actually 3.
reply by c_lucas on 03-Dec-2013
    You're welcome.
Comment from KinaSalad
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Hi there Aiona, this is a cool 5-7-5 poem. You should have put a photo up of the cat. By the way, there's 6 syllabals in your first line. Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
    Thanks for reviewing! It wasn't til after I posted it that I realized I say "chocolate" with two syllables, but in reality it's supposed to be 3. I think you're the only one so far who's pointed that out! :)
Comment from RJ
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A great poem that made me chuckle. It followed the syllable count well and had a great visual. Good luck in the contest.

Thanks for sharing RJ

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
    Thank you!
Comment from Spitfire
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LOL. Love the category you chose to put this in. Welcome to FS. I warn you, it's addictive. This is even more hilarious because it's true. I wouldn't be mad, but sure would be disappointed.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
    Sincere thanks. :)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
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Well doesn't that just put a damper on your sweet dreams. This is a wonderful witty 5-7-5 and a worthy contest entry. All the best in the voting. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
    Thank you!
Comment from RuralFrights
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Poem definitely had a twist at the end. Tootsie Rolls? Ugh! What a disgusting comment!

Definitely within the 5-7-5 framework. Original, yet we all joke amongst ourselves about similar things. You put it out there....Great job!

Tommy

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2013
    Schadenfreude is my aim. :) Thank you.