Reviews from

Geoffrey's Musings.

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "My Missuss"
A book of Stories, Essays and Poetry.

36 total reviews 
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Conveys a powerful, but humorous message about the problems attached to disability. Nice rhyming techniques, choice of words and is well written. Faye

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Thanks Faye appreciate the wonderful review. Hope you can find time to look at my other stuff this is my first attempt at a competition. Might add this to my book later as well.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a nice tribute to your wife. I am glad that her mobility problems are a thing of the past. It must be nice for her to whizz about in the electric wheelchair instead of struggling with crutches.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    I thin k I just replied to this hmm came around again thanks.
reply by Tomes Johnston on 11-Nov-2013
    My pleasure.
Comment from michaelcahill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey! I like this. What a great spirit it has. Jovial and full speed ahead. Very uplifting really. Nothing getting anyone down. Great pick of your young bride there!! Well done. You should try to set aside a little time for more poetry. With your song writing your pieces have that nice rhythm to them. mikey

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Thanks friend. Not sure it will qualify in the ABAB realm but I don't care.
Comment from Carol Adele
Good
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Nice rhythmic poem with a humorous tone. Most of the rhyme is good, but the 3rd line of the 2nd stanza doesn't rhyme: chair and as. I don't have any suggestions though. It's a fun poem.

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 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Hi Carol I don't care really. the skeleton of the poem has been around for years. Thanks for dropping by.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Hi Carol not sure if I have broken the rules but I changed the first and second lines of verse 2.
reply by Carol Adele on 11-Nov-2013
    I think editing is acceptable. Ii have done it as well when someone suggests something better or points out a problem. Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Yeah well I appreciate it Tom said it was ok to do. Already had doine it anyway and thanks for the 'heads up'
Comment from phoenix13447
Excellent
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What a lovely picture you paint and you make it so real. However it would pay you to examine the rhyme in view of the ABAB rules. Hope this is helpful and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Hey I don't care I tried but if it doesn't qualify then tuff. Thanks for the review. Thanks for the good wishes.
Comment from Erika Martin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice ABAB poem, worthy of reading again. It gives disability an air of joviality. I love the power wheelchair image. I can see it "sneaking down the hall."

Nice work.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2013


reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
    Thanks Erika for your lovely review. Not sure it qualifies for the competition but I don't care. The house was in the process of renovation you can see some open woodwork as the door where she is sitting was being transformed into a sliding door. We lost our third bedroom around to the right as you look as we added an Ensuite for Louise. Thanks again.