Fortress Walls
ABC Poetry Contest I made into a song.40 total reviews
Comment from Val Crisson
I didn't listen to the song, as I really wanted to poem to be my main thought in this critique. I love the poem and the set up is very impressive. I love the repetition of the line "Yet fortress walls still guard my heart." I kept hoping the last line of the poem would be about the fortress being is down, but I'm romantic by nature. Very good work, here.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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I didn't listen to the song, as I really wanted to poem to be my main thought in this critique. I love the poem and the set up is very impressive. I love the repetition of the line "Yet fortress walls still guard my heart." I kept hoping the last line of the poem would be about the fortress being is down, but I'm romantic by nature. Very good work, here.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review, Val. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. Yeah, a lot of folks won't care for the music I put with it anyhow. I'm glad you liked the piece, Val. Thank you again.
;)
Ron
Comment from J. Dark
I really enjoyed this, Dragonskulls. Your ABC words are perfect and do not appear forced at all. You employ a true beauty of language and I love the contrast of the repeating line. Interesting to see work put to music as well. A great work.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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I really enjoyed this, Dragonskulls. Your ABC words are perfect and do not appear forced at all. You employ a true beauty of language and I love the contrast of the repeating line. Interesting to see work put to music as well. A great work.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :0)
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review, Julie. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from KG Writes
DragonSkulls You may call this "General Poetry" but I would say it is far more romantic than anything else. It is touching, it is deep and heartfelt. Lovely illustration to compliment the piece. Enjoyable and thought provoking read. KG Writes
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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DragonSkulls You may call this "General Poetry" but I would say it is far more romantic than anything else. It is touching, it is deep and heartfelt. Lovely illustration to compliment the piece. Enjoyable and thought provoking read. KG Writes
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review, KGW. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
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DragonSkulls You are most welcome. Enjoy your Sunday. KG Writes
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You do as well. It's a gorgeous day out so we're heading out to enjoy it.
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Thank you! KG Writes
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Very good acrostic. Good even flow in four verses with a steady beat. Only the second line in the penultimate verse lost the beat of an otherwise good steady 'eight to the bar!. Loved the audio and your voice - very well done. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Very good acrostic. Good even flow in four verses with a steady beat. Only the second line in the penultimate verse lost the beat of an otherwise good steady 'eight to the bar!. Loved the audio and your voice - very well done. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review, Dorothy. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good complimentary photo. Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with last/past. Good descriptive words. Good alliteration. Good clear message that holds my attention from beginning to end. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Good complimentary photo. Good use of the abab rhyme scheme. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with last/past. Good descriptive words. Good alliteration. Good clear message that holds my attention from beginning to end. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the great review, RR. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from humpwhistle
Nicely done. I particularly like your words choices. And your similes and metaphors are apt and on target.
The recurring line is one gained by sad experience. It recurs beyond your control.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Nicely done. I particularly like your words choices. And your similes and metaphors are apt and on target.
The recurring line is one gained by sad experience. It recurs beyond your control.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review, Lee. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from pickthorn
This is a well written ABC poem of romance that fails to blossom because, "fortress walls still guard my heart."
The poem is great but the song didn't do to much to enhance my appreciation of your work. I am a fan of country and western music.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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This is a well written ABC poem of romance that fails to blossom because, "fortress walls still guard my heart."
The poem is great but the song didn't do to much to enhance my appreciation of your work. I am a fan of country and western music.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the great review, pickthorn. Yeah, I didn't really plan on too many people caring for the music. I did a lot of work to finally get it so the music would be on here to listen to so I couldn't leave it off, lol. I'm glad you liked the piece, P. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from ~Dovey
This is amazing, Ron. On many, many levels. I don't even know where to begin. It is compelling, seductive, and sincere... if that is even a possible combination. I admire the courage to add the music and sing the lyrics. You will be a winner, I'm sure of that. :)
*hugs*
Kim
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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This is amazing, Ron. On many, many levels. I don't even know where to begin. It is compelling, seductive, and sincere... if that is even a possible combination. I admire the courage to add the music and sing the lyrics. You will be a winner, I'm sure of that. :)
*hugs*
Kim
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Hey, Kim, hello. Thank you so much for the kind review and big sixer, friend. Yeah, I lot of work went into everything I had to go through to finally get the video in here. The editor on here wasn't taking it just as a mp3 file. It took a little bit of learning to get the thing to youtube then to figure out how to get it on the piece. I see lots of people use vids so I was determined to figure it out, lol. I dearly appreciate the gracious rating, K. You're the best. I'm humbled. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again. Have a great day.
;)
Ron
Comment from kiwisteveh
Four stanzas of beautifully composed ABC rhymed verse.
Your refrain line emphasises the theme of unrequited love, apparently because of earlier events not specified.
The verse is not forced with excellent rhyme and meter.
Steve
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Four stanzas of beautifully composed ABC rhymed verse.
Your refrain line emphasises the theme of unrequited love, apparently because of earlier events not specified.
The verse is not forced with excellent rhyme and meter.
Steve
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review, Steve. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from mfowler
I like this as a song especially the refrain which just keeps love at bay with a quality of self protection. The verses flow and no doubt are sung easily from the page and each contains beautiful descriptive langauge supported by subtle imagery Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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I like this as a song especially the refrain which just keeps love at bay with a quality of self protection. The verses flow and no doubt are sung easily from the page and each contains beautiful descriptive langauge supported by subtle imagery Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review, Mfowler. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
