The Bounty Hunter
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Azazel's Deal"Supernatural Bounty Hunter
8 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
This is going back into Samuel's past as a slave. He made a deal with the demon that he would serve him for 200 years, provided that his family will remain safe. The devil expects Samuel to be his Hunter. This reveals that Samuel's unique powers have been passed on to his son. You do a fine job of showing Samuel's emotional conflict over his situation. Interesting the way you use rhyme for the demon's speech. judi
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This is going back into Samuel's past as a slave. He made a deal with the demon that he would serve him for 200 years, provided that his family will remain safe. The devil expects Samuel to be his Hunter. This reveals that Samuel's unique powers have been passed on to his son. You do a fine job of showing Samuel's emotional conflict over his situation. Interesting the way you use rhyme for the demon's speech. judi
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
Comment from Twilightspire
Eloquence and poetic prose, I love it. The only problem I saw, which wasn't a problem, really, did slaves worship God? I'm not sure if they did or had their own religion. Just an observation. This dream sequence was beautiful. It added just the right touch of descriptive prose and internal conflict. The pace was sound and not a single word was wasted. Excellent work.
-T.J.
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Eloquence and poetic prose, I love it. The only problem I saw, which wasn't a problem, really, did slaves worship God? I'm not sure if they did or had their own religion. Just an observation. This dream sequence was beautiful. It added just the right touch of descriptive prose and internal conflict. The pace was sound and not a single word was wasted. Excellent work.
-T.J.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2013
Comment from Silent1rose
Oh no!! How did I skip this chapter... :/
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. (I think on earth sounds much better than in earth. How can something be done in earth. The only thing in earth is the core and magma. LOL. Just my opinion.)
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. (I'm not sure if there's a version that says forgive them that trespass against us but I know it as forgive those who trespass against us.)
His skin was blood read, his eyes sky blue. (Change read to red.) Great chapter! It had me glued to my couch in suspense! ~ Rose
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Oh no!! How did I skip this chapter... :/
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. (I think on earth sounds much better than in earth. How can something be done in earth. The only thing in earth is the core and magma. LOL. Just my opinion.)
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. (I'm not sure if there's a version that says forgive them that trespass against us but I know it as forgive those who trespass against us.)
His skin was blood read, his eyes sky blue. (Change read to red.) Great chapter! It had me glued to my couch in suspense! ~ Rose
Comment Written 26-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much. How did I write 'read'? Sometimes I just don't know. Oh, I used the traditional version of the Lords prayer. It is similar to the King James version.
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Ah ok. The traditional version. Keep up the good work. :)
Comment from pbroussard209
Awesome, this was a great trip into the past. I love your discription of the devil, he was witty and sinister all at the same time. You made the reader feel for Samuel and fear for his family. Great chapter all around.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Awesome, this was a great trip into the past. I love your discription of the devil, he was witty and sinister all at the same time. You made the reader feel for Samuel and fear for his family. Great chapter all around.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Thank you. Readers needed to know why a basically good guy is doing evil things.
Comment from barkingdog
It sounds like Samuel made a pact with the devil in order to free his family. Is it directed against the slave owner, the gambler and those descendants?
This is fascinating with the verse dialogue of the demon. It definitely sets the character apart from the real world.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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It sounds like Samuel made a pact with the devil in order to free his family. Is it directed against the slave owner, the gambler and those descendants?
This is fascinating with the verse dialogue of the demon. It definitely sets the character apart from the real world.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Thank you. Yes, Samuel will or has taken care of the his former master.
Comment from Liandra
You have captured me with this story. I haven't read previous chapters, but this one has me reeled in.
A couple of queries; 'unlike any (Samuel) had ever seen...'
'unmatched 'by' any human...'
Look forward to the next chapter.
Liandra
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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You have captured me with this story. I haven't read previous chapters, but this one has me reeled in.
A couple of queries; 'unlike any (Samuel) had ever seen...'
'unmatched 'by' any human...'
Look forward to the next chapter.
Liandra
Comment Written 26-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Thank you, Liandra.
Comment from lindalcreel
You are very write about the dream sequences. I have used them in the past to help propel the story. they are very effective and the reader is pulled right into the dream with the character. This was an exceptional chapter. Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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You are very write about the dream sequences. I have used them in the past to help propel the story. they are very effective and the reader is pulled right into the dream with the character. This was an exceptional chapter. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Thank you.
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Welcome:)
Comment from Ric Myworld
You write well and your chapter moves along crisply at a smooth pace, before leaving us wanting more at the end.
Thanks for the nice read!
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You write well and your chapter moves along crisply at a smooth pace, before leaving us wanting more at the end.
Thanks for the nice read!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013