Free Verse Collection 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "For A Pause In Current"selections for seal submission
15 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Stop apologizing for long pieces !!! This is really good. Love the beginning metaphor of the barnacle carving out it's own existence, the false cornerstones flaked to pieces, the contempt at the realization of futility, the longing for ice to trap a moment...the only truth is the current, the grace of its motion. Awareness can seem to pause, an awareness of the all that put the current into motion in the first place. I apologize if this review is too long. You can skip it if you want to...Stop Apologizing!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Stop apologizing for long pieces !!! This is really good. Love the beginning metaphor of the barnacle carving out it's own existence, the false cornerstones flaked to pieces, the contempt at the realization of futility, the longing for ice to trap a moment...the only truth is the current, the grace of its motion. Awareness can seem to pause, an awareness of the all that put the current into motion in the first place. I apologize if this review is too long. You can skip it if you want to...Stop Apologizing!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2013
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Hahaha!!! I am rolling on the floor. Okay! No more apologies. Just trying to prevent certain folks from diving in the deep end when they can't swim. (good line). Your analysis is on the money and so wonderful to hear. Happy that you understand this so perfectly. Still laughing, mikey
Comment from Lylise
Love it! I wonder if you sit down to type and this just flows out of you and when you are done, you are spent and rarely change anything before the post. I recognize this. Two great minds....
Many, many great analogies here. I like that you held the thread throughout. You always came back to it...pause.
My favorite line..proclaiming themselves the cornerstone.. is brilliant.
The frustration level is obvious here but you persevere by being just plain busy with your observations.
I loved this write, Michael. You even sent me to the dictionary with fiord.
This flow is excellent with high energy throughout which is not easy to do. I believe this is an innate talent of yours.
Well done, my dear.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Love it! I wonder if you sit down to type and this just flows out of you and when you are done, you are spent and rarely change anything before the post. I recognize this. Two great minds....
Many, many great analogies here. I like that you held the thread throughout. You always came back to it...pause.
My favorite line..proclaiming themselves the cornerstone.. is brilliant.
The frustration level is obvious here but you persevere by being just plain busy with your observations.
I loved this write, Michael. You even sent me to the dictionary with fiord.
This flow is excellent with high energy throughout which is not easy to do. I believe this is an innate talent of yours.
Well done, my dear.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Oh yeah fiord. Norwegian wife. They dig that Viking sailing through the fiords stuff. The damn helmets get in the way though. What fantastic praise and uplifting words. I am delighted and attempting feats of athletic derring do which are impressing my cocker spaniel immensely. thank you for everything most wonderful excellent woman, mikey
Comment from pattipac
Mike,I enjoyed reading how one seeks truth within a never flowing maelstrom of existence, which never pauses no matter how desperate we wish it would.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Mike,I enjoyed reading how one seeks truth within a never flowing maelstrom of existence, which never pauses no matter how desperate we wish it would.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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So, pleased to see that my message is clear and getting through. I often fear that no one will know what I am talking about. It delights me to hear your lovely synopsis of my piece. thank you very much, mike
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, No your poem is not to long...had to be just as it is to say what you wanted...I love poems that when you read them they pull you in...and this one does...the endless search for the truth when there is none finally you take the world for what it is...a great write...love it!!!Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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HI Michael, No your poem is not to long...had to be just as it is to say what you wanted...I love poems that when you read them they pull you in...and this one does...the endless search for the truth when there is none finally you take the world for what it is...a great write...love it!!!Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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I am so happy you liked this. I was trying to scare off certain folks with my little warning. Not ones like you by any stretch. I love your insights on this. thank you much, mike
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You know you can mute some of them...xxoo and thank you for your kind words...
Comment from Sasha
The length is fine and what it was meant to be. I really enjoyed this deeply philosophical look at life. Marvelously written and deserving of a 6 that I do not have...sorry. You are truly a gifted poet and I always enjoy reading your work.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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The length is fine and what it was meant to be. I really enjoyed this deeply philosophical look at life. Marvelously written and deserving of a 6 that I do not have...sorry. You are truly a gifted poet and I always enjoy reading your work.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Your kind and complimentary words are much more the prize than a six would ever be. So happy you liked this. gracious thanks, mike
Comment from adewpearl
very effective use of enjambment to create flow of thoughts from line to line
I love the passage about the clinging barnacle
a brief peak at the puzzle - peek
good alliteration there
an endless search for truth when there is no - emotionally powerful observation
This is quite compelling and thought provoking from start to close :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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very effective use of enjambment to create flow of thoughts from line to line
I love the passage about the clinging barnacle
a brief peak at the puzzle - peek
good alliteration there
an endless search for truth when there is no - emotionally powerful observation
This is quite compelling and thought provoking from start to close :-) Brooke
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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I am so very pleased that you enjoyed this. What wonderful compliments. Shall fix that spelling. Thanks for catching it. Most exciting to hear that my words are understood. Most kind thanks, mike
Comment from cinderbella
hey Mikey, I like this poem and it isn't too long at all. I seem to know a little of 'chaos' and 'hopeless maelstrom of existence', and I sure did get caught up in the current many times. I love this part "..and insanity reveals its truth and meaning and you embrace it with gratitude.." Actually I think you might be just as brilliant as you say you are... LOL
:) Sandra
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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hey Mikey, I like this poem and it isn't too long at all. I seem to know a little of 'chaos' and 'hopeless maelstrom of existence', and I sure did get caught up in the current many times. I love this part "..and insanity reveals its truth and meaning and you embrace it with gratitude.." Actually I think you might be just as brilliant as you say you are... LOL
:) Sandra
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Oh. haha. I just say that for fun. If I am brilliant it is not due to anything I did. I am so very pleased you related to this. Life is more interesting when you live it to the fullest good or bad. It can get better and is worth waiting for when it does. Thank you so very much, mikey
Comment from nelliesellie
I was never good at rhyming so I enjoy this. You are talking about the universe. It has to be long. There is a pause. You get to stop when you are dead. I was clinical dead once. I had no trouble understanding it all then. A lot does seem random.I think it is because we do not know the trips our fellow travelers are on. Love the picture. You are lot lost as long as one hand is up. Love the poem
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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I was never good at rhyming so I enjoy this. You are talking about the universe. It has to be long. There is a pause. You get to stop when you are dead. I was clinical dead once. I had no trouble understanding it all then. A lot does seem random.I think it is because we do not know the trips our fellow travelers are on. Love the picture. You are lot lost as long as one hand is up. Love the poem
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Love your comments and insights. Most pleased you informed those clinically disposed that you had decided to stick around! So pleased you liked this and got something out of it. thank you, mikey
Comment from tbacha58
for brief encounters
with passing currents
on their way
as you are on your way
no pause
never a pause
Dearest friend, a poem is never too long when it has this deep philosophy like your amazing poem for me this morning. I just feel in love with the picture, the hand reaching asking for help, your phrases grouped together to ring a bell once read, I did enjoy it so much, and I pray that others would love it as much as I did.
I have come to realize, a poet should only think first, of loving his or her poem, and not expect anymore encouragement from the public. Because each poem belongs only to that individual,the one writing the poem, its a state of mind of the moment, and here when we write we are alone, if we are happy, great post it, what comes is lovely, move on and on. Until you feel its time to publish it. Have this aim in your thoughts Mike, and with an aim, your strength will evolve rapidly. Good luck. Hugs Terry
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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for brief encounters
with passing currents
on their way
as you are on your way
no pause
never a pause
Dearest friend, a poem is never too long when it has this deep philosophy like your amazing poem for me this morning. I just feel in love with the picture, the hand reaching asking for help, your phrases grouped together to ring a bell once read, I did enjoy it so much, and I pray that others would love it as much as I did.
I have come to realize, a poet should only think first, of loving his or her poem, and not expect anymore encouragement from the public. Because each poem belongs only to that individual,the one writing the poem, its a state of mind of the moment, and here when we write we are alone, if we are happy, great post it, what comes is lovely, move on and on. Until you feel its time to publish it. Have this aim in your thoughts Mike, and with an aim, your strength will evolve rapidly. Good luck. Hugs Terry
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Most thoughtful and excellent advice. Very true indeed. I am pleased you liked this. Your compliments and wonderful insights are most appreciated and being considered by me. Thank you so very much, mikey
Comment from Cookie333
Well...I was bobbin' along on the ice berg, just a little corpuscle clinging, hopelessly...Now I'm a freakin' fossil trapped with all the other particles.
thanks Mike, I do know how some pieces just gotta write themselves.
karen
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Well...I was bobbin' along on the ice berg, just a little corpuscle clinging, hopelessly...Now I'm a freakin' fossil trapped with all the other particles.
thanks Mike, I do know how some pieces just gotta write themselves.
karen
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Ah, but a darling fossil indeed! (is that a compliment?) Yes they do. Had to write it or my brain wouldn't let me write anything else. gracias, miguel