Ode to Autumn (5-7-5)
Autumn casts her spell19 total reviews
Comment from allinmyhead
Love the lyrical flow. Very posh presentation:) Totally relate. Autumn feeds my soul... sadly we get little of it here in the southwestern desert. Very much like this ode.
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Love the lyrical flow. Very posh presentation:) Totally relate. Autumn feeds my soul... sadly we get little of it here in the southwestern desert. Very much like this ode.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from bluemlein
good.
it is rather unfair to call for an entire ode in 5-7-5 syllables, given that the ode is a form demanding rather more than 17 syllables, no matter how skillful the poet might be. in any case, the format is that of a haiku even if this one is not traditional in the sense of citing feelings rather than visual imagery.
shall we remember: season of mists and mellow fruitfullness,
close bosom-friend of the maturing sun - that's twenty syllables but there are many, many more (330 altogether).
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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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good.
it is rather unfair to call for an entire ode in 5-7-5 syllables, given that the ode is a form demanding rather more than 17 syllables, no matter how skillful the poet might be. in any case, the format is that of a haiku even if this one is not traditional in the sense of citing feelings rather than visual imagery.
shall we remember: season of mists and mellow fruitfullness,
close bosom-friend of the maturing sun - that's twenty syllables but there are many, many more (330 altogether).
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thanks so much for reading and responding. I agree with your assessment, but the contest called for a 5-7-5 "ode", so I tried to comply. But you are right on the money with your comments. thanks.
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thank you! it is always appreciated when someone derives useful information from a review. :)
Comment from Val Crisson
I really like this ode a lot, but I'm not sure why autumn is capitalized. It does have an old fashioned feel, and "transfix my gaze" is a very good line.
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I really like this ode a lot, but I'm not sure why autumn is capitalized. It does have an old fashioned feel, and "transfix my gaze" is a very good line.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from mermaids
Autumn does have an impact on me like your poem describes. Your words have a spiritual feel to them and captures the beauty of this season. Excellent 5-7-5 form.
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Autumn does have an impact on me like your poem describes. Your words have a spiritual feel to them and captures the beauty of this season. Excellent 5-7-5 form.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from simplyteresa
This is a wonderful ode to Autumn, you did a beautiful job with this 5-7-5. The artwork is a perfect compliment to your poem. I loved how you used transfix it adds a depth to this 17 syllable poem. :)
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This is a wonderful ode to Autumn, you did a beautiful job with this 5-7-5. The artwork is a perfect compliment to your poem. I loved how you used transfix it adds a depth to this 17 syllable poem. :)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
great pairing of transfix and transform
I love the celebratory tone in this poem of tribute to Autumn - definitely ode-like in nature :-) Brooke
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Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 syllable count
great pairing of transfix and transform
I love the celebratory tone in this poem of tribute to Autumn - definitely ode-like in nature :-) Brooke
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from vkmack
Terribly Shakespearean. Love the use of the rhetorical question. Great language and alliteration: "transfix my gaze and transform my soul." Lovely work. Your first line works incredibly well. I wasn't sure where we were going. Could this be a love poem of some sort? Well, in a way, it is. So glad the beauty of autumn helped you return to yourself. Wonderful way to say so. There are a few other really good 5-7-5 poems here, but this is the best. You got me.
Good luck with in the contest.
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Terribly Shakespearean. Love the use of the rhetorical question. Great language and alliteration: "transfix my gaze and transform my soul." Lovely work. Your first line works incredibly well. I wasn't sure where we were going. Could this be a love poem of some sort? Well, in a way, it is. So glad the beauty of autumn helped you return to yourself. Wonderful way to say so. There are a few other really good 5-7-5 poems here, but this is the best. You got me.
Good luck with in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from karent73
I love the subject matter. Autumn is one of my favorite seasons, and you captured the feeling in the few lines. Good job, and good luck!
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I love the subject matter. Autumn is one of my favorite seasons, and you captured the feeling in the few lines. Good job, and good luck!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from Dean Kuch
Autumn has this effect on me as well. My favorite time of the year, the world comes alive for us with it's brilliant colors, enticing smells...football and ice hockey, both college and high school. Oh, yes, and let's not forget to mention Halloween, my personal favorite holiday of the year.
Yep, Fall certainly has a great deal going for it, in my book!
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Autumn has this effect on me as well. My favorite time of the year, the world comes alive for us with it's brilliant colors, enticing smells...football and ice hockey, both college and high school. Oh, yes, and let's not forget to mention Halloween, my personal favorite holiday of the year.
Yep, Fall certainly has a great deal going for it, in my book!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
Comment from Capricorn30
Well-written ode to autumn as the season's beauty easily catches the eye;
Nice alliteration of "transfix"; "transform"; as humans marvel at the radiance of nature's art.
Excellent, mystery poet.
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Well-written ode to autumn as the season's beauty easily catches the eye;
Nice alliteration of "transfix"; "transform"; as humans marvel at the radiance of nature's art.
Excellent, mystery poet.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013