Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "Sifting Sand"My thoughts about t
8 total reviews
Comment from CornishChick
I read all your poems. I don't know why but this one just hit me 'twix the eyeballs. It grabs me right in my heart. The imagery is utterly fantgastic. I can feel the sand slipping through my fingers. I can smell it. I can even feel the rocks beneath my feet as my toes curl in to keep my stance erect. Don't know how to explain it, but this poem really, really hits me. Thank you for sharing such a phenomenal gift!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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I read all your poems. I don't know why but this one just hit me 'twix the eyeballs. It grabs me right in my heart. The imagery is utterly fantgastic. I can feel the sand slipping through my fingers. I can smell it. I can even feel the rocks beneath my feet as my toes curl in to keep my stance erect. Don't know how to explain it, but this poem really, really hits me. Thank you for sharing such a phenomenal gift!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Wow! I'm really pleased that you lied it so well! I'll need sun classes for all those stars.
Comment from sunnilicious
That looks like a dangerous hill. Glad it was a group event. Nice poem. Good lyrical flow of rhymes. Nicely done. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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That looks like a dangerous hill. Glad it was a group event. Nice poem. Good lyrical flow of rhymes. Nicely done. Excellent work.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you sunnilicious. It's an awesome hill.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
This poem has good flow, excellent rhyme, figurative language,
a good interesting structure. A complex rhyme scheme. For me the technique and figurative language get in the way of the message if there is one.
Preston
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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This poem has good flow, excellent rhyme, figurative language,
a good interesting structure. A complex rhyme scheme. For me the technique and figurative language get in the way of the message if there is one.
Preston
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you Preston, I appreciate what you are saying.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
What an amazing poetry format.
Such a simple activity is given such power and depth through clever word use and formatting.
I especially like the last stanza as I feel it embraces the meaning of the whole poem.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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What an amazing poetry format.
Such a simple activity is given such power and depth through clever word use and formatting.
I especially like the last stanza as I feel it embraces the meaning of the whole poem.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you Shirley. Yes, you Got it!
Comment from Capricorn30
An archeological feel to this writing as hands attempt to reveal ancient secrets;
A well-crafted writing of earth and mankind--the earth not easily revealing her abundant secrets.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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An archeological feel to this writing as hands attempt to reveal ancient secrets;
A well-crafted writing of earth and mankind--the earth not easily revealing her abundant secrets.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you Margaret. You you got the essence of it.
Comment from marycec
I had never heard of the form so appreciated your notes.You nailed it admirably.Great alliteration in 'sense of sifting sand'. I particularly liked the line, ' To scatter eons residue'- what a lovely image. You are really experimenting with different forms.It is lovely that you and your grandson share this experience together.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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I had never heard of the form so appreciated your notes.You nailed it admirably.Great alliteration in 'sense of sifting sand'. I particularly liked the line, ' To scatter eons residue'- what a lovely image. You are really experimenting with different forms.It is lovely that you and your grandson share this experience together.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you Mary. I love sharing with him.
Comment from SteveY
A beautifully written poem about nature and life in all of it's various forms, like grandson, rocks, earth, breeze. So well written and thought out.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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A beautifully written poem about nature and life in all of it's various forms, like grandson, rocks, earth, breeze. So well written and thought out.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you SteveY
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tom,
I can sense the excitement and awe in this post. Beautiful creation with strong descriptive words to enhance the moment. Great post - sounds like you both had a great time on this hike.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Edit Check:
"There 's such a joy that I embrace" // delete extra space before apostrophe.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Dear Tom,
I can sense the excitement and awe in this post. Beautiful creation with strong descriptive words to enhance the moment. Great post - sounds like you both had a great time on this hike.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Edit Check:
"There 's such a joy that I embrace" // delete extra space before apostrophe.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2013
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Thank you Maureen, I'll get that.
