The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Falling Foul of the Local Frauds"Subtitle: God Never Lets Go!
27 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
All levels of government, all over the world, have their Greasy Paws, I'm sure, Sankey!
I wonder what Mummy had to say about all these goings on??
Have a great week, my friend. You have had quite a full life, I can see. :)
Sonali
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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All levels of government, all over the world, have their Greasy Paws, I'm sure, Sankey!
I wonder what Mummy had to say about all these goings on??
Have a great week, my friend. You have had quite a full life, I can see. :)
Sonali
Comment Written 28-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the great review. Yes one wonders how much we could save of Public money and Council Rates and so on if Corruption was rooted out. Won't happen this side of Glory sadly.
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Hi there *I have not seen you around for ages. I was just coming through here and checking one last time for my book. You know there is probably stuff up[ for review you have not seen if you wanna look.
Comment from cinderbella
Sankey, this is very well-written and an interesting story, which mostly seems to be about corruption. I guess no place is entirely free of that.
Only one thing I would change. The line "You will see shortly what all these persons were after" sounds a little clumsy to me, and seems to be unnecessary. It breaks the rhythm of the story, talking to the reader at that moment. That is only my humble opinion and I am not an expert. Cheers. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Sankey, this is very well-written and an interesting story, which mostly seems to be about corruption. I guess no place is entirely free of that.
Only one thing I would change. The line "You will see shortly what all these persons were after" sounds a little clumsy to me, and seems to be unnecessary. It breaks the rhythm of the story, talking to the reader at that moment. That is only my humble opinion and I am not an expert. Cheers. :) Sandra
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks Sandra will consider your advice thanks Glad you enjoyed reading will probably incorporate this in my Autobiography when I figure out where to put it hehe.
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I just did another edit if you care to have a look have taken most of what all you recent reviewers have said into account and even updated some on my own, too. Thanks again.
Comment from BethShelby
We've all done things we not proud off. I see your point about the graft and corruptions in public officials. I think that happens all over the world.
WRONG THINK TO DO! (wrong thing)
Mever mind in the "higher echelons" of power.(Never mind)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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We've all done things we not proud off. I see your point about the graft and corruptions in public officials. I think that happens all over the world.
WRONG THINK TO DO! (wrong thing)
Mever mind in the "higher echelons" of power.(Never mind)
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks Beth for the spag find . Funny how we all miss various things even aftert I put it up I saw another spag others had missed hehe Thanks again.
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I just did another edit if you care to have a look have taken most of what all you recent reviewers have said into account and even updated some on my own, too. Thanks again.
Comment from Norbanus
It sound like the rubbish collector police have an excellent system for putting the squeeze on. If you don't cough up for the first one you move up the line and the penalty increases. I'll bet they have a real scramble to move up the ranks inside the system.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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It sound like the rubbish collector police have an excellent system for putting the squeeze on. If you don't cough up for the first one you move up the line and the penalty increases. I'll bet they have a real scramble to move up the ranks inside the system.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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yeah well that is EXACTLY the way it felt. If I didn't "grease" the ranger, I had an opportunity to "grease" the Health Surveyor. But God was victorious and got me off on a minimum fine, probably less than the "greasing" might have cost. I have to say I don't remember ever seeing any info on the early closing of the Dump in Winter.
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I just did another edit if you care to have a look have taken most of what all you recent reviewers have said into account and even updated some on my own, too. Thanks again.
Comment from Rondeno
The indignation still shows through in your writing. "If" is often an idle exercise, but if you hadn't thrown away those letters ...
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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The indignation still shows through in your writing. "If" is often an idle exercise, but if you hadn't thrown away those letters ...
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Hi, well I have a feeling Mother was cleaning me out, and she never told me the letters were in amongst the rubbish. Duh! Thanks for the review. had a funny review earlier contrary one.
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I just did another edit if you care to have a look have taken most of what all you recent reviewers have said into account and even updated some on my own, too. Thanks again.
Comment from twowheels
This sounds like an interesting lead in to more adventures. (I am very curious about the picture with the story?) More descriptions would be appreciated, What is the local tip?
One suggestion for writing, is to be creative with words in the same paragraph. Using a word twice in the same paragraph should be avoided. (stuff)
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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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This sounds like an interesting lead in to more adventures. (I am very curious about the picture with the story?) More descriptions would be appreciated, What is the local tip?
One suggestion for writing, is to be creative with words in the same paragraph. Using a word twice in the same paragraph should be avoided. (stuff)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the heads up. I agree about repetition in word usage. Will attend to that. the local tip is the garbage dump would that look better? Thanks very much for an excellent review. Tried to find a good courthouse photo have to work on that some more. This story will be incorporated into my autobiography I am doing. Called "The Little Dog That Wouldn't let Go" I just did an edit to Chapter 8 if you want to look at that, thanks again for an excellent review. Hope you will come back after my edit.
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I have done an edit hope we can get you to have another look please. Maybe you will enjoy reading it more this time.
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I have done an edit hope we can get you to have another look please. Maybe you will enjoy reading it more this time.
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Oh, that makes more sense. I do like the original word though, it adds unique interest. Perhaps you could have some dialog with your mum, where she says something like, Could you take this rubbish down to the Tip? and then you explain how you pass by the dump everyday.... or something like that.
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Ok thanks this is just a essay, and it is going to be included in my Book eventually. I feel like your review is a bit harsh sorry. I changed the word as you did not like it and I also fixed some of the expressions up. Is this my story or someone else's? My Mother is long gone as is my Dad. I was being unique but you did not understand.
Comment from notdeadyet
This is an interesting true story. It shows how little things can grow into big ones. You handled the writing well with plenty of description . Keep writing!
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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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This is an interesting true story. It shows how little things can grow into big ones. You handled the writing well with plenty of description . Keep writing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2013
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Thanks just found a spag you must have missed it hehe. All fixed now. Hope you will have a look at my book this might end up in there later look for The Little Dog That Wouldn't Let Go. Thanks again.
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I just did another edit if you care to have a look have taken most of what all you recent reviewers have said into account and even updated some on my own, too. Thanks again.
