Last Breath
2nd place winner12 total reviews
Comment from EMB
I'm not quite following this. If life is like breath taken for granted, I'm asking myself why such a distinction is made? (And what makes it a last breath?) Questions, questions. No answer in sight. Perhaps that's the point? :)
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
  |
I'm not quite following this. If life is like breath taken for granted, I'm asking myself why such a distinction is made? (And what makes it a last breath?) Questions, questions. No answer in sight. Perhaps that's the point? :)
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
since one does not know which breath might be the last it behooves one to live each one as though it is. life too often is breaths taken for granted, certainly something to avoid. not sure if the explanation or the piece is clear. but, there it is. thank you for your thoughtful comments. mike
Comment from amanda98653
A clever, creative poem. Syllables are all correct. Life can be so short. it's best to treasure the things we have now so we wont regret in the end.
Best of luck in the contest
God bless
Aj
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
A clever, creative poem. Syllables are all correct. Life can be so short. it's best to treasure the things we have now so we wont regret in the end.
Best of luck in the contest
God bless
Aj
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
thank you for the kind review. life can be long as well. even worse if we have regrets.
Comment from Sueellen11
We just never know the last breath of life will be, great write, excellent entry into the contest, good luck, les sings to you, sueellen
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
|
We just never know the last breath of life will be, great write, excellent entry into the contest, good luck, les sings to you, sueellen
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
thank you. not much experience with structure artistically or personally for that matter. ha! very encouraging words.
Comment from songbyrd
So few words, yet they say so much.. I've had an experience already with heaven so I no longer have a fear..but we never know the answer to this question..if we did, would we live each day differently? take nothing in life for granted.. great job!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
 |
So few words, yet they say so much.. I've had an experience already with heaven so I no longer have a fear..but we never know the answer to this question..if we did, would we live each day differently? take nothing in life for granted.. great job!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
-
I am just so delighted that you liked this. I am so used to rambling on and on. this was really different for me having to follow rules and stuff. at least they didn't make me get a haircut! thank you so much.
-
I know the rules I'm not used to..When I did the ABC contest..I've never done that..but it was fun... Yes, I did like it.. and also happy about the haircut..lol..
Comment from Gungalo
life
which breath taken for granted is my
last?
Very poetic indeed. This write allows the reader to decide for you which will be you last breath taken.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
life
which breath taken for granted is my
last?
Very poetic indeed. This write allows the reader to decide for you which will be you last breath taken.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
very kind and encouraging review. thank you.
-
Smile.
Comment from Darkhorse555
in a feathers touch in the breath of peace gods taken breath in the granted last breath a sigh excellent piece very visual piece
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
in a feathers touch in the breath of peace gods taken breath in the granted last breath a sigh excellent piece very visual piece
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
insightful response. thank you very much.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This asks an interesting question and has a valid point of view. The form and syllable count meet the requirements of the contest. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
This asks an interesting question and has a valid point of view. The form and syllable count meet the requirements of the contest. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
thank you so much. this format and writing within boundaries is a bit unfamiliar to me and my normally rambling without a care style. ha! pleased that you liked my effort. I did enjoy the challenge. thank you
Comment from kindamiller
It is amazing how much can be so with so little words! You expressed so much emotion without saying much. We should never take anything for granted because it is so true that we never know what breathe will be our last. Very well written.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
It is amazing how much can be so with so little words! You expressed so much emotion without saying much. We should never take anything for granted because it is so true that we never know what breathe will be our last. Very well written.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
this is so wonderful to hear. this is very new to me writing within a framework. I usually ramble on without a care. ha! very encouraging. thank you.
Comment from adewpearl
great pairing of illustration and poem, which is in excellent 1/9/1 syllable count
I like the alliterative pairing of life and last
I also like the thought-provoking question that draws the reader in to wonder about him/her self also
Brooke
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
great pairing of illustration and poem, which is in excellent 1/9/1 syllable count
I like the alliterative pairing of life and last
I also like the thought-provoking question that draws the reader in to wonder about him/her self also
Brooke
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
very excited to receive this fine review. I am new to forms such as this and find it quite challenging. big smile! oops! signed my name
Comment from Jackarrie
life
which breath taken for granted is my
last?
Very true, not something we like to think about but it comes to us all. A great 1-9-1 poem
well done and good luck in the competition. Mary
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
|
life
which breath taken for granted is my
last?
Very true, not something we like to think about but it comes to us all. A great 1-9-1 poem
well done and good luck in the competition. Mary
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
thank you for the encouraging words. regards, ?