Last Day of School
The truth can be a reason to hate28 total reviews
Comment from pbroussard209
Another six star story, I really wish I had some. You are very talented. You have a way of speaking the truth in a way that makes people want to listen. Awesome work.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
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Another six star story, I really wish I had some. You are very talented. You have a way of speaking the truth in a way that makes people want to listen. Awesome work.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
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Thank you.
Comment from songbyrd
Nice story. It kept my interest. Many of the mentioned scenarios were so true.. But I guess the last sentence says it all.. Good job.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Nice story. It kept my interest. Many of the mentioned scenarios were so true.. But I guess the last sentence says it all.. Good job.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow, wow, wow...
I felt like I was right there sitting in the audience captivated by what's was happening. This is powerfully written and in a language directly related with its subject.
I enjoyed this very much and is very detailed.
Nicely done... John
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Wow, wow, wow...
I felt like I was right there sitting in the audience captivated by what's was happening. This is powerfully written and in a language directly related with its subject.
I enjoyed this very much and is very detailed.
Nicely done... John
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
They say there are no stupid questions, but it's very rarely that people ask the RIGHT question. Thank you for doing that, and for this wonderful, provoking and funny commentary. Good luck in the contest, I really hope you win. Cheers!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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They say there are no stupid questions, but it's very rarely that people ask the RIGHT question. Thank you for doing that, and for this wonderful, provoking and funny commentary. Good luck in the contest, I really hope you win. Cheers!
Comment Written 28-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2013
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Thank you
Comment from EMB
"Gone awry"? Ha! That doesn't even begin to describe such a weird situation, especially when he acts like he didn't really mean to say it. And then for him to carry on, I don't think a "murmur" would have been the first reaction, based on the kind of assemblies I've seen. :)
But this story does delve into the simple fact that most people "Can't handle the truth!" :)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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"Gone awry"? Ha! That doesn't even begin to describe such a weird situation, especially when he acts like he didn't really mean to say it. And then for him to carry on, I don't think a "murmur" would have been the first reaction, based on the kind of assemblies I've seen. :)
But this story does delve into the simple fact that most people "Can't handle the truth!" :)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Thank you and you're right most can't.
Comment from elchupakabra
I will give you an A for effort, because I agree with and support your cause. The education system; along with the economic system and the majority of religious and government institutions; are outdated and failing. The worst part; these are intended circumstances that are inherent designs of a capitalistic society. Anyways, the reason for the lowered rating is because of the large amounts of SPAG, the fact that much of this reads as rhetoric and goes off the handle and off base, and the fact that the principal ends his speech like he's Chris Rock doing a comedy bit leads me to believe that this is need of some revisement. Still, it's good work overall and you have my vote in the contest. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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I will give you an A for effort, because I agree with and support your cause. The education system; along with the economic system and the majority of religious and government institutions; are outdated and failing. The worst part; these are intended circumstances that are inherent designs of a capitalistic society. Anyways, the reason for the lowered rating is because of the large amounts of SPAG, the fact that much of this reads as rhetoric and goes off the handle and off base, and the fact that the principal ends his speech like he's Chris Rock doing a comedy bit leads me to believe that this is need of some revisement. Still, it's good work overall and you have my vote in the contest. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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We are not supposed to defend our work, but I would like a clarification of what 'large amounts of SPAG' you speak of in this 'as categorized' fictional story. We are reviewing to help each other improve, right?
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say itâ??s a Joke, - it's a joke
I have called the parents of bullies and got cursed - have been cursed at
who rather roughly, - who, rather roughly
I should be welcoming kids to school, not expelling them from school - expelling them from it
When your gang banging sons impregnates your neighborâ??s daughters and you sign her up for Food Stamps - gang banging sons impregnate your neighbor's dauthers and you sign her up for food stamps
Just to name a few. There were more issues, but I'm not going to list every single one. Hope this helps. Best of luck.
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Those are not SPAG, but differences in writing styles.
Neighbor's daughters implies that it is multiple daughters of a singular neighbor. That would be wrong when speaking to crowd of people. But now I undrstand you better.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This is an outstandingly written essay. Not many are will to speak the truth. The Unions have outlived their usefulness and have become destructive. The teachers are disrespected, and those who look to the government to be their "breadwinner" have shackled themselves to economic slavery. Unintended consequences all, but very real. :) nancy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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This is an outstandingly written essay. Not many are will to speak the truth. The Unions have outlived their usefulness and have become destructive. The teachers are disrespected, and those who look to the government to be their "breadwinner" have shackled themselves to economic slavery. Unintended consequences all, but very real. :) nancy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you very much
Comment from kra-z-ka-z
WHooHoo! YOU ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED THAT SPIKE THROUGH THE MINDS OF ANYONE WITH ONE! YAY YOU!!
It was soooo nice to see something with a bit of originality!
Not that I don't appreciate the "Loving The Lord" stuff. It's just nice to see something else in a "I believe" type category. HEAR-HERE!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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WHooHoo! YOU ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED THAT SPIKE THROUGH THE MINDS OF ANYONE WITH ONE! YAY YOU!!
It was soooo nice to see something with a bit of originality!
Not that I don't appreciate the "Loving The Lord" stuff. It's just nice to see something else in a "I believe" type category. HEAR-HERE!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from forestport12
Powerful truth written in a way that gives the reader the feel of being in the audience. I liked how you threaded the needle of truth in the words of the MC and if we ask the big question, can we afford it, aren't we the ones who are shunned, because we are not compassionate with other people's money?
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Powerful truth written in a way that gives the reader the feel of being in the audience. I liked how you threaded the needle of truth in the words of the MC and if we ask the big question, can we afford it, aren't we the ones who are shunned, because we are not compassionate with other people's money?
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you
Comment from vapros
Five stars tonight for this excellent and hard-hitting bit of oratory by a disgusted educator. We dream of telling off the parents, and this guy does it, in spades. It must have been a very satisfying, if costly, vent. Well done.
v
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Five stars tonight for this excellent and hard-hitting bit of oratory by a disgusted educator. We dream of telling off the parents, and this guy does it, in spades. It must have been a very satisfying, if costly, vent. Well done.
v
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you
