Comment from JeffreyStone

Exceptional

Most entertaining. Waht a great idea for a detective story! you pulled it off without a hitch. I really enjoyed this well-written piece. Good luck in the contest. Jeffrey

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2013

Thank you Jeffery, I appreciate your kind remarks and encouraging words. Dennis

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

I love the detective's discussion of how Story Land needs police LOL
Great fun with the investigation of the Humpty Dumpty cold case :-)
and then working the seven dwarfs into the case is very clever :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013

Glad you liked it Brooke, thanks! Dennis

Comment from cheyennewy

Exceptional

Hi Dennis,

I got such a kick out of this story and never thought the new kid would work so hard to solve the case when it was just a joke. This is very creative and well written. Your gift of humor and a vivid imagination serves you well. Excellent! chey

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013

Thanks, Chey. I enjoyed writing it so appreciate that you also enjoyed reading it! Dennis

Comment from Gladness

Excellent

Interesting idea for a story. Pretty fun too. Found a couple of things:

Like now, for instance. (present tense)
He was dressed in (past tense)
(present or past tense?)

wunderkind's lap. (did you mean wonderkid?)

Well, the kid lucked out to be with a group of princesses. Where does storyland get all the frogs?

Nice resolution, good insight to his thinking, and enjoyable reading.
Anita

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013

wun·der·kind (vndr-knd, wn-)
n. pl. wun·der·kin·der (-kndr)
1. A child prodigy.
2. A person of remarkable talent or ability who achieves great success or acclaim at an early age.
[German : Wunder, wonder, prodigy (from Middle High German, from Old High German wuntar) + Kind, child; see kindergarten.]
good point on the tenses...thanks for reading and really glad you liked it! Dennis

reply by Gladness on 23-Aug-2013

Cool, I learned a new word:) Thanks! Antia

Comment from MAMONIA

Exceptional

OMG!!! I am hysterical laughing. I knew it was "Dragnet's"
scenario from the get go. You set the stage quite perfectly.
I never giggled so hard. He cracked the case of the broken egg HD??? What a fantastic story. It's even better than the
original.
Who would have thunk???
Great job. Loved it all.
Marie

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013

Hysterical laughing is what it's all about for me! Extra special that it was you! :) Thanks, Dennis

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

This is so cute. Very enjoyable reading. Use of dialogue is effective in this. I'm not surprised to hear there's trouble in Storyland. So many evil witches and big bad wolves out there. I like Joe's "seen it all approach" pitted against Peter's real determination to solve the cold case of HD. A funny conclusion with Pete out supervision Princesses kissing all the frogs in Story Land, to try to catch the one who will turn into the Big Bad Wolf. Very enjoyable stuff! judi

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2013

Thanks Judi, I'm so pleased that you liked it. Dennis

reply by judiverse on 20-Aug-2013

You're so welcome. I remember reading a novel that had all the fairy tale characters in it, and some were trying to solve a crime. Can't remember the title right now. judi

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, deniz, you did an excellent job writing this story about the whiz kid that cracked (!!!) the case of humpty dumpty. i enjoyed reading this one. shouldn't it be wunderkid's lap instead of wunderkind's lap?

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2013

(cracked?) oh no, a pun! :) wunderkid for sure ... Thanks!

Comment from Supe

Exceptional

This is fabulous. What a humorous take on old fairy tales. This was clever and fast paced. Can't wait to read more of your writing. Nice job. Yes, you've still got it. lol

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2013

Thanks, Supe. Your comments are much appreciated. Dennis

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

I thought this was very orginal and a fun read. The whole Joe Friday kinda atomosphere works well, and gives it a Mike Hammer feel. I noticed a couple of cliche, but considering the setting the cliche are part of the atomshere. A good story that was vert entertaining.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2013

I would defend the use of clichés in this story since it is reflective of the way people actually talk. I would say that this story is 100% dialogue by "real" people. :) Thanks for writing and commenting. It really is appreciated.

Comment from OldVet

Excellent

First off: Well done! Nice mixture of old stories and old detectives.

Suggestions:
I know where all (or most all)[space]of the bodies are buried.
holding his [still wet-ink graduation papers]
He was dressed in an open[-]collar shirt and tan pants;
He got points for calling me "sir[-]" {periods/commas inside " Check throughout]
"Call me 'Joe[.]'
"OK, Joe. But I don't get it.["]
So in my best imitation of Sargent Joe Friday [Perhaps: In my best Sargent Joe Friday imitation]

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2013

Thanks!