Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 82 "Life's Tempest"My thoughts about t
15 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are right about protecting our children from the knowledge of death, yet these days, it comes into theirs young lives quite frequently. Your poem is lovely, Treischel, it flows superbly, and the rhyme is perfect. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2013
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You are right about protecting our children from the knowledge of death, yet these days, it comes into theirs young lives quite frequently. Your poem is lovely, Treischel, it flows superbly, and the rhyme is perfect. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 16-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2013
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Thank you Sandra. I appreciate you insight.
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of rhyming couplets
really good use of enjambment to keep your thoughts flowing from line to line
good alliteration in close cloistered cave
and in blameless bliss
and bold and brave and death dispensed
I really like your imagery like lives thrust toward the grave
and what grim thoughts that the children playing blissfully are just unaware of what is inevitably to come...
Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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solid use of rhyming couplets
really good use of enjambment to keep your thoughts flowing from line to line
good alliteration in close cloistered cave
and in blameless bliss
and bold and brave and death dispensed
I really like your imagery like lives thrust toward the grave
and what grim thoughts that the children playing blissfully are just unaware of what is inevitably to come...
Brooke
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Brooke, yes, and so good they don't.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Life must have tempest in any form-mode-manner, rather there is no life without tempest, stages of man offer chances to learn how to combat survive; a good lesson for younger generation. 06/815
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Life must have tempest in any form-mode-manner, rather there is no life without tempest, stages of man offer chances to learn how to combat survive; a good lesson for younger generation. 06/815
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Alcreator for you comments.
Comment from keimosobie
Very true. We try to keep the magic alive as long as possible. But there is an after life and be it child or adult we shouldn't worry about death, because fear is the weapon of the enemy.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Very true. We try to keep the magic alive as long as possible. But there is an after life and be it child or adult we shouldn't worry about death, because fear is the weapon of the enemy.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you keimosobie. I appreciate this high review and ranking along with you positive outlook.
Comment from ravenblack
Yes- at times it is a fight against headwinds, a race towards something we really don't want but sitting on the sidelines is worse. Good use of rhythm and rhyme. Teach your children well.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Yes- at times it is a fight against headwinds, a race towards something we really don't want but sitting on the sidelines is worse. Good use of rhythm and rhyme. Teach your children well.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ravenblack. And enjoy them while you can.
Comment from Rmocruz
Alliteration is effectively employed in this solidly rhymed verse. Youth is a gifted defense mechanism temporarily
postponing life's unforeseen possibilities.
An excellent poem.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Alliteration is effectively employed in this solidly rhymed verse. Youth is a gifted defense mechanism temporarily
postponing life's unforeseen possibilities.
An excellent poem.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Rmocruz. A true gift, indeed.
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You're welcome, my pleasure.
Comment from words
I love your metaphysical write on man's lot in life.
So beautifully put.
I especially liked:Too young to quite foresee the dearth
Of knowledge of impending death.
If they did, they'd surely cower
From fate that cannot be defensed.
With sin's decree of death dispensed,
Share the fate of wilting flower.
Well done.
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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I love your metaphysical write on man's lot in life.
So beautifully put.
I especially liked:Too young to quite foresee the dearth
Of knowledge of impending death.
If they did, they'd surely cower
From fate that cannot be defensed.
With sin's decree of death dispensed,
Share the fate of wilting flower.
Well done.
Hugs, d
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you D.
Comment from Ekim777
An ambitious piece. I would have been happier with more sensual, visual imagery in place of abstracts and generalization which push me out the picture. Ultimately a poem paints a picture and its material is language. There were some fine remarks like; "Young children play in blameless bliss./" -Ekim777
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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An ambitious piece. I would have been happier with more sensual, visual imagery in place of abstracts and generalization which push me out the picture. Ultimately a poem paints a picture and its material is language. There were some fine remarks like; "Young children play in blameless bliss./" -Ekim777
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ekim. Ah, but isn't most poetry abstracts.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a beautifully written poem I love the poetic way this is written and as you know poetic poems are not really my thing thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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This is a beautifully written poem I love the poetic way this is written and as you know poetic poems are not really my thing thank you for sharing
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much dmt. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from robina1978
Can't have been easy to write this complex rhyme scheme with 20 lines. Excellent artwork to complement this poem. I loved that you wrote we protect our children as long as possible.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Can't have been easy to write this complex rhyme scheme with 20 lines. Excellent artwork to complement this poem. I loved that you wrote we protect our children as long as possible.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ine.
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most welcome, Ine
