Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Xenic View"Assorted poetry
13 total reviews
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
This is simply wonderful.. The tongue-in-cheek twist of the last line is very Senryu-esque. It is so iconic of the human condition to be oblivious of what others see as glaringly obvious. Your allusion to the "us" and "them" mentality of, well... "us" and "them" is spot on.
pssssst, (there are eight syllables in your second line ; )
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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This is simply wonderful.. The tongue-in-cheek twist of the last line is very Senryu-esque. It is so iconic of the human condition to be oblivious of what others see as glaringly obvious. Your allusion to the "us" and "them" mentality of, well... "us" and "them" is spot on.
pssssst, (there are eight syllables in your second line ; )
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the pleasant review. I actually changed the second line once to 'Not America's problem' to make it seven syllables, but then thought it changed the tenor, I changed it back thinking I'd change its description to senryu. Any thoughts?
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yes, yes, I would imagine that being extremely wary of strangers, especially those from far off, foreign lands-- almost to the point of hatred-- would not have anything to do with the good old US of A. We simply don't do those kinds of things here, don't make those kinds of judgments...
Or, do we?
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2013
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Yes, yes, I would imagine that being extremely wary of strangers, especially those from far off, foreign lands-- almost to the point of hatred-- would not have anything to do with the good old US of A. We simply don't do those kinds of things here, don't make those kinds of judgments...
Or, do we?
Comment Written 10-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2013
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Thank you for reviewing this, Dean. Bill
Comment from Gabrieltheswifter
Very clever, I have to say one of my favorite haiku's to date. I liked the way that you played off of the definition to make a joke of words.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Very clever, I have to say one of my favorite haiku's to date. I liked the way that you played off of the definition to make a joke of words.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from adewpearl
not/an/A/mer/i/can/prob/lem - that line has 8 syllables instead of 7
maybe you could revise it to Not America's problem?
or not Americans' problem
I like the irony in your comment, as the speaker, claiming not to be xenophobic, assumes this human flaw is foreign LOL :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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not/an/A/mer/i/can/prob/lem - that line has 8 syllables instead of 7
maybe you could revise it to Not America's problem?
or not Americans' problem
I like the irony in your comment, as the speaker, claiming not to be xenophobic, assumes this human flaw is foreign LOL :-) Brooke
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Oops! Thanks. Changed it with your suggestion. Happy days!
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece meets the criteria of the 5-7-5. The syllable count is correct as the photo fits this piece perfectly. This piece is short, sweet and to the point as I see nothing that I would change in this piece.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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This piece meets the criteria of the 5-7-5. The syllable count is correct as the photo fits this piece perfectly. This piece is short, sweet and to the point as I see nothing that I would change in this piece.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thanks got the positive review. Bill
Comment from patsolstad
This is a very funny and clever 5-7-5. It was good, though, that you explained the meaning of xenophobia. If one didn't know that, the poem would not have the same impact.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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This is a very funny and clever 5-7-5. It was good, though, that you explained the meaning of xenophobia. If one didn't know that, the poem would not have the same impact.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for your kind and thorough review. Bill
Comment from donaldww
I like the tongue in cheek irony in your 5-7-5. Of course, America is known as one of the most xenophobic countries in the world. LOL
Not that it bothers me. I'm a big fan of USA.
Excellent job!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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I like the tongue in cheek irony in your 5-7-5. Of course, America is known as one of the most xenophobic countries in the world. LOL
Not that it bothers me. I'm a big fan of USA.
Excellent job!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the enthusiastic and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from Gungalo
Xenophobia
Not an American problem
Probably foreign
A fine interpretation of the word Bill. So many have so much to question these days. Awesome.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Xenophobia
Not an American problem
Probably foreign
A fine interpretation of the word Bill. So many have so much to question these days. Awesome.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for giving this a look. Bill
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Smiling Bill.
Comment from krys123
As far as I know it is not an American problem but it was an African problem in 1994 through 2008. Many had died because of it. Off of that subject, your piece is very well done. And I get the crux of the poem very well. Thank you for sharing such a interesting piece. You have a good one and God bless.
AK
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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As far as I know it is not an American problem but it was an African problem in 1994 through 2008. Many had died because of it. Off of that subject, your piece is very well done. And I get the crux of the poem very well. Thank you for sharing such a interesting piece. You have a good one and God bless.
AK
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you your interesting and encouraging review. Bill
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Again you're welcome Bill.
AK
Comment from Sararb
Great poem, and I learned a new word for my vocabulary. Xenophobia is a new one to me. No it isn't an American problem Thank God for that! Well said. Sararb :)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Great poem, and I learned a new word for my vocabulary. Xenophobia is a new one to me. No it isn't an American problem Thank God for that! Well said. Sararb :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for this review. Right, xenophobia is not our problem.