Reviews from

Geoffrey's Musings.

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "When The Sails Sailed."
A book of Stories, Essays and Poetry.

22 total reviews 
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Adjective Content-******
stars here are for writing that appeal,
apparent and real.
Flow-*****
Nice but not robust.
Grammar-*****
Perfectly mounted!
Pronunciation Appeal*****
Directly appeals with characterization and
pic perfectly mounted Captain!
Pronounceable Ability*
A star here means that this is good but not
done to ascertain a 6.
Objective Content*****
Behind a US. citizen perhaps am a little
confused on opera knowledge.
Based on a scale of 1-100, this based on
imagery and projection...
Hmm.
This piece warrants a solid 88.
Complete Synopsis-*****
This piece appeals me for my deceased dad
was a 26 year Naval Chief.
Thanks,
Richard. {Ricky1024}.

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 Comment Written 25-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
    Thanks Richard for your kind review. Bit of a story here the picture I included was a conversion from old slides as back then(you can see the Opera house was not fini8shed in 1968 when it was taken)..when they got the picture off the slide they had it in reverse!! Sigh! had I put the original on all the Aussies would have said "Hey wrong side of Opera house" as it had the ferry heading on the wrong side; instead of to the wharves at Circular Quay. Just a bit of trivia thanks again.
Comment from JB Lynn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a splendid piece, and I loved the way you sprang the "surprise" that the opera house was drifting away. I do struggle with the "then I woke up" ending to the story, because I feel like it's a bit of a cop-out. If you feel it's absolutely the best way to end this, why not have your narrator actually live across from the opera house and when he/she wakes up, show them rushing to their window to check "just to make sure" that the opera house is still there? Either way, this was a lot of fun to read. Thank you for sharing.

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 Comment Written 25-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
    Thanks very much. Confession time...I embellished this a fair bit from the original that I do not have anymore, sadly - wish I did.
    I mean it was, as I said; written almost 50 years ago.. I was 14 then. The ending was not on the original. I might take up your suggestion and remove the "then I woke up" Bit.
    Thanks again.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2013
    Hi again I just edited the then I woke up bit off. Thanks for that.