I Don't Know Why
A Non-Fiction in about 800 words.Why it happens.............88 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
This sounds like a hell of a bucket list. Some of the wording was a little awkward, but I am guessing that English is a second language. I liked the whimsical feel to some of the somedays. Very nicely done.
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This sounds like a hell of a bucket list. Some of the wording was a little awkward, but I am guessing that English is a second language. I liked the whimsical feel to some of the somedays. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from Rondeno
This is very unlike your typical posts. It is fictional, and at the same time highly personal. It is an excellent essay on "The Vanity of Human Wishes".
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This is very unlike your typical posts. It is fictional, and at the same time highly personal. It is an excellent essay on "The Vanity of Human Wishes".
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from barleygirl
I'm impressed (finally). I read this when it was a long rambling mess, with some seemingly threatening language in the notes. Then I read your other reviews, trying to decide if I should review it & be honest, review it by blowing smoke up your butt, or just walk away.
Later, I returned (now) to see that you've taken some of your reviews to heart. I honestly had taken you to be a person who wouldn't change your writing on account of what reviewers write. Now I have a different & improved feeling about your writing, your ability to process what reviewers write, & just your entire modus operandi on this website.
I'm not crazy about this version, but it's much much better. I love the overall point you're trying to make. I also love some of the outlandish goals you've put forth. But it's still not an easy piece to get thru. It's not compelling or entertaining, so the reader has to decide to pay attention all the way thru.
You make it worthwhile (member dollars) for the reader.
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I'm impressed (finally). I read this when it was a long rambling mess, with some seemingly threatening language in the notes. Then I read your other reviews, trying to decide if I should review it & be honest, review it by blowing smoke up your butt, or just walk away.
Later, I returned (now) to see that you've taken some of your reviews to heart. I honestly had taken you to be a person who wouldn't change your writing on account of what reviewers write. Now I have a different & improved feeling about your writing, your ability to process what reviewers write, & just your entire modus operandi on this website.
I'm not crazy about this version, but it's much much better. I love the overall point you're trying to make. I also love some of the outlandish goals you've put forth. But it's still not an easy piece to get thru. It's not compelling or entertaining, so the reader has to decide to pay attention all the way thru.
You make it worthwhile (member dollars) for the reader.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from visionary1234
What a wild imagination you have, Al - it actually reads more like a prose poem. Fun to have a little glimpse into your fertile mind - though the piece could be just as effective if it were shorter, or if the structure varied a little more. You lost me about 3/4 of the way through as the sentence structure became predictable - but distill it a little more and it would be a fun piece! :)Sharyn
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What a wild imagination you have, Al - it actually reads more like a prose poem. Fun to have a little glimpse into your fertile mind - though the piece could be just as effective if it were shorter, or if the structure varied a little more. You lost me about 3/4 of the way through as the sentence structure became predictable - but distill it a little more and it would be a fun piece! :)Sharyn
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from Antonin70
Well done again. Your author's notes say it all. At least they explain what you are setting out to do and your story shows how well you can do it. I love the truth with which you endow all your works and love reading them. Thanks. Anton
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Well done again. Your author's notes say it all. At least they explain what you are setting out to do and your story shows how well you can do it. I love the truth with which you endow all your works and love reading them. Thanks. Anton
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from MegPalmer
You are right, this is "large." I enjoyed it. The reader starts out feeling incredulous and then amused, then possibly agreeing with the scope of what a person might daydream about in the quiet of one's own mind. This reads like poetry a little more than prose.
A little comment on your author's comments: Just as it is impossible to write without including personal belief, etc., it is impossible to read without it.
Check the grammar here: "Every summer I think I shall have all my buildings, houses, rooms, cars, shops or dwelling places are air-conditioned fully." I think "are" is wrong.
Thank you for the read. Again, I found it enjoyable.
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You are right, this is "large." I enjoyed it. The reader starts out feeling incredulous and then amused, then possibly agreeing with the scope of what a person might daydream about in the quiet of one's own mind. This reads like poetry a little more than prose.
A little comment on your author's comments: Just as it is impossible to write without including personal belief, etc., it is impossible to read without it.
Check the grammar here: "Every summer I think I shall have all my buildings, houses, rooms, cars, shops or dwelling places are air-conditioned fully." I think "are" is wrong.
Thank you for the read. Again, I found it enjoyable.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is cute, alcreator, i wish to be one of the people of the mornings you wish to give money to. when mentioning the things you wanted to own, you didn't mention a horse. i'll take two of them since you don't want one. i enjoyed reading it
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this is cute, alcreator, i wish to be one of the people of the mornings you wish to give money to. when mentioning the things you wanted to own, you didn't mention a horse. i'll take two of them since you don't want one. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from eafournier
I think that in this case it does not matter whether this is categorized as fiction or non-fiction. You have covered the days, nights and seasons of life. The hopes and dreams expressed are universal. We must hope and believe before we can achieve. To achieve 1/10 of these dreams would be an accomplishment. Well done!
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I think that in this case it does not matter whether this is categorized as fiction or non-fiction. You have covered the days, nights and seasons of life. The hopes and dreams expressed are universal. We must hope and believe before we can achieve. To achieve 1/10 of these dreams would be an accomplishment. Well done!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from Deniz22
God has something better for you than unobtainable fantasies; the gift of salvation that brings Jesus into your life!
I love to tell the story
Of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory,
Of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story,
Because I know 'tis true;
It satisfies my longings
As nothing else can do.
I love to tell the story,
'Twill be my theme in glory
To tell the old, old story
of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story;
More wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies
Of all my golden dreams,
I love to tell the story,
It did so much for me;
And that is just the reason
I tell it now to thee.
I love to tell the story;
'Tis pleasant to repeat
What seems each time I tell it,
More wonderfully sweet.
I love to tell the story;
For some have never heard
The message of salvation
From God's own holy Word.
I love to tell the story;
For those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting
To hear it like the rest.
And when, in scenes of glory,
I sing the new, new song,
'Twill be the old, old story,
That I have loved so long.
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/1064#ixzz2ZyyVppM2
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God has something better for you than unobtainable fantasies; the gift of salvation that brings Jesus into your life!
I love to tell the story
Of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory,
Of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story,
Because I know 'tis true;
It satisfies my longings
As nothing else can do.
I love to tell the story,
'Twill be my theme in glory
To tell the old, old story
of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story;
More wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies
Of all my golden dreams,
I love to tell the story,
It did so much for me;
And that is just the reason
I tell it now to thee.
I love to tell the story;
'Tis pleasant to repeat
What seems each time I tell it,
More wonderfully sweet.
I love to tell the story;
For some have never heard
The message of salvation
From God's own holy Word.
I love to tell the story;
For those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting
To hear it like the rest.
And when, in scenes of glory,
I sing the new, new song,
'Twill be the old, old story,
That I have loved so long.
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/1064#ixzz2ZyyVppM2
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
Comment from Kingsland
No one can be all things at all times anywhere in this world. These are delusions of grandeur. It is better to just be who you are and not wallow in some pie in the sky majesty. Your notes would make it impossible for most reviewers to review this piece. Telling some how or what to say in a review is wrong in the highest order. That is if you want an honest review. That is why I am reviewing the way I see fit. The article is well written and I enjoyed reading it... John
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No one can be all things at all times anywhere in this world. These are delusions of grandeur. It is better to just be who you are and not wallow in some pie in the sky majesty. Your notes would make it impossible for most reviewers to review this piece. Telling some how or what to say in a review is wrong in the highest order. That is if you want an honest review. That is why I am reviewing the way I see fit. The article is well written and I enjoyed reading it... John
Comment Written 24-Jul-2013
