Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

It was a high drift morning.... the layers of noise, like waves.. Norm, I am always amazed by the descriptive words bringing your thoughts together so perfectly. You have a phenomenally organized mind. I admire you as you grow. Carolyn

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013

Thanks Carolyn. How do you hand the words at the beginning of each line? Do you Capitals or do you use the smaller letters?

Norm

Comment from DanielEkine

Excellent

We may never know.
Beautiful writing.
"I float in a mixed current
Not knowing
The direction of the tides

Will it take me
To the land of my dreams
Or will it swallow me
In an eddy
Of lost emotions " my best part.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thanks for the nice critique. It is appreciated.

Norm

Comment from rhonny

Excellent

Good metaphors, good words in this poem. However I do think that capitals at the beginning of each line can interrupt the flow and urgency of the stanzas.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Do you think that no capitals would really enhance the poem? I know that e. e. cummings wrote without caps.

Norm

reply by rhonny on 21-Jul-2013

Yes I really do. In the 'old days' every new line had capitals. Then years later it went to no capitals - as you commented - and now it's a mixture. I think the beginning and end of a stanza are ok with capitals and do that myself. Often I have none at all. It's nice to be able to vary it. But I think for sure that a good poem like yours will read much more easily without having to cope with the capitals. I found personally, that I struggled with them, and I'm an oldie who used to do capitals all the time! :O)