Poems from a Pensive Poet
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Final Farewell"Verses from my heart
28 total reviews
Comment from Raver
Excellent descriptive poem of when someone experiences a loss. It is hard to come to terms with death as you never know when it will come. But it takes time to ease the pain. I like the way you structured this poem. I liked the way line 2 and 4 of each stanza rhymed.
Good post.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Excellent descriptive poem of when someone experiences a loss. It is hard to come to terms with death as you never know when it will come. But it takes time to ease the pain. I like the way you structured this poem. I liked the way line 2 and 4 of each stanza rhymed.
Good post.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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THank you so mcuh for the review and insightful comment.
I really appreciate your remarks.
Beth
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Your welcome.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
The tears brought by this poem speak for many grieving souls. This well-rhymed poem tells the sad story.
But it's not just sentimental, but deals with reality.
I think nothing is gained by sugar coating tragedy, though of course we seek closure and softening of grief.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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The tears brought by this poem speak for many grieving souls. This well-rhymed poem tells the sad story.
But it's not just sentimental, but deals with reality.
I think nothing is gained by sugar coating tragedy, though of course we seek closure and softening of grief.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thank you s much for the review adn for continuing to read my stories and poems. Most of time, I try to stay away from tragedy and grief but the picture got to me. As you say, it is reality.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abcb rhyme
loved/lost/longs - good alliterative grouping
and in can't come/claimed
and in part of the present and final farewell
a beautifully poignant story of love and love lost, or perhaps not lost :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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solid use of abcb rhyme
loved/lost/longs - good alliterative grouping
and in can't come/claimed
and in part of the present and final farewell
a beautifully poignant story of love and love lost, or perhaps not lost :-) Brooke
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you Brooke,
I appreciate the review and the way you always point out what works. I enjoy reading your comments.
Beth
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Beth,
your rhyming poem is very touching. Even if it was a very sad Pathos poem it was we worth reading
Wish you we in this contest.
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hello Beth,
your rhyming poem is very touching. Even if it was a very sad Pathos poem it was we worth reading
Wish you we in this contest.
Gert
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank ;you Gert, I don't usually write sad poems but this picture touched me. I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
Perfect picture--his spirit kneeling to comfort her. A strong opening and ending line. Great use of alliteration and other poetic devices. A touching story that is happening all over America these days Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Perfect picture--his spirit kneeling to comfort her. A strong opening and ending line. Great use of alliteration and other poetic devices. A touching story that is happening all over America these days Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the review and nice comments. I'm glad your found it touching.
Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It's very strong and should well. This poem is heart wrenching. My husband retired a few years ago after 23 years in the Army. I have seen this way too often.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It's very strong and should well. This poem is heart wrenching. My husband retired a few years ago after 23 years in the Army. I have seen this way too often.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much Barbara for the review and comments. My husband was in service too. Thankfully it was before we met.
Beth
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Beth. This is beautiful and this stanza alone could be a poem unto itself, I think:
"He can't be a part of the present
and she must not live in the past.
The final farewell isn't easy
but nothing on earth's meant to last.
Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Hi, Beth. This is beautiful and this stanza alone could be a poem unto itself, I think:
"He can't be a part of the present
and she must not live in the past.
The final farewell isn't easy
but nothing on earth's meant to last.
Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Bob, Thank you so much for the six-star review. Your comments are so encouraging. I really appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
How common is the scene depicted and how horrible is the reality that comes to pass later on. Although a few lines were awkward, for ex:
"and stop all the tears in their flow.
"but broken hearts someday will mend.
However, despite the above, the work is evocative and well crafted. 8 beats to the line works well.
Regards:
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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How common is the scene depicted and how horrible is the reality that comes to pass later on. Although a few lines were awkward, for ex:
"and stop all the tears in their flow.
"but broken hearts someday will mend.
However, despite the above, the work is evocative and well crafted. 8 beats to the line works well.
Regards:
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I do appreciate it, and I'll take another look at the lines you mention.
Beth
Comment from James Chaima Phiri
I read the poem more than three times before I started the review business. Why? I don't know if I was attracted by the sweetness of the poem or searching for the hidden meaning. I have seen Susan's tears which cannot erase her pain. I have heard the soldier's final farewell-a promise to his wife; "Don't fear , sweetheart.I will return." I have seen a dead body of the brave soldier. However, I failed to see or understand how he kept his promise. How and when did he return? I searched for him carefully but he was nowhere to be seen. I concluded that the author cheated in this case. Just then I saw him! Standing at the right top corner of this page, he smiled at him. He is now a supernatural being. No wonder he cannot comfort his grieving wife who has not grasped the fact that he is supernatural. Please let someone rush to Susan and explain that he cannot be part of the present and she must not live in the past. Life must go on. Though the pain cannot be removed, we must learn to live with it. This is a special massage to ladies who have lost their loved ones in whichever situation or circumstances. The picture which inspired this poem is on itself a great message. Combine the two and you have an excellent work. You pose the greatest challenge to other contestants. I wish you the best in this contest. Thank you.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I read the poem more than three times before I started the review business. Why? I don't know if I was attracted by the sweetness of the poem or searching for the hidden meaning. I have seen Susan's tears which cannot erase her pain. I have heard the soldier's final farewell-a promise to his wife; "Don't fear , sweetheart.I will return." I have seen a dead body of the brave soldier. However, I failed to see or understand how he kept his promise. How and when did he return? I searched for him carefully but he was nowhere to be seen. I concluded that the author cheated in this case. Just then I saw him! Standing at the right top corner of this page, he smiled at him. He is now a supernatural being. No wonder he cannot comfort his grieving wife who has not grasped the fact that he is supernatural. Please let someone rush to Susan and explain that he cannot be part of the present and she must not live in the past. Life must go on. Though the pain cannot be removed, we must learn to live with it. This is a special massage to ladies who have lost their loved ones in whichever situation or circumstances. The picture which inspired this poem is on itself a great message. Combine the two and you have an excellent work. You pose the greatest challenge to other contestants. I wish you the best in this contest. Thank you.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review James. I enjoyed reading your in depth comments as you struggle for understanding. I think you've got the picture clearly.
Beth
Comment from w.j.debi
This piece is heart-touching and a bit heart-rending. They must both go on, never to see each other again in this life. I loved the message of hope in your line:
Death can't destroy the love that they shared
Good rhyming scheme and I like the steady 9-8-9-8 syllables of your stanzas. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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This piece is heart-touching and a bit heart-rending. They must both go on, never to see each other again in this life. I loved the message of hope in your line:
Death can't destroy the love that they shared
Good rhyming scheme and I like the steady 9-8-9-8 syllables of your stanzas. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and insightful comments.
I'm glad you see the hope in this rather depressing poem.
Beth
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Maybe because I have a strong belief in the afterlife. The parting now is depressing, but I believe they will be reunited because of their strong love.