Mind Flayer Society.
Annual Serial Killer Event7 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
Now this is a story. I love your prose, this story is extremely well versed and captivating. If there is another story that deserves to win the contest so far that I have read it is yours. Really excellent work.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Now this is a story. I love your prose, this story is extremely well versed and captivating. If there is another story that deserves to win the contest so far that I have read it is yours. Really excellent work.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for reading my entry and your your kind review. Zee
Comment from barleygirl
This story is utterly disgusting, but still, it's well written & displays more imagination than most of the other stories. The tone thru-out is cold & calculated, just as one would expect from the narrator, the famous Hannibal. Frankly, I don't find the final act to be very believable, that is, a snake big enough to swallow a person whole, but your narrative is convincing enough to get the reader to suspend judgment about this aspect. Good writing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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This story is utterly disgusting, but still, it's well written & displays more imagination than most of the other stories. The tone thru-out is cold & calculated, just as one would expect from the narrator, the famous Hannibal. Frankly, I don't find the final act to be very believable, that is, a snake big enough to swallow a person whole, but your narrative is convincing enough to get the reader to suspend judgment about this aspect. Good writing.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. You made my day. Zee
Comment from EMB
So this is definitely an event that people would kill for an invitation. (Ha! Couldn't resist.) I don't think you had to spend as much time setting up the kind of people here. Most have an idea of what qualifies for a serial killer. The coin toss reminded me of No Country for Old Men. :)
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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So this is definitely an event that people would kill for an invitation. (Ha! Couldn't resist.) I don't think you had to spend as much time setting up the kind of people here. Most have an idea of what qualifies for a serial killer. The coin toss reminded me of No Country for Old Men. :)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from christianpowers
Hi,
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. The tone of your narrative was very haughty and elitist sounding, which contrasted well with the subject. So, bravo, this was written well.
I loved the idea, as well, a secret society of murderers who meet to trade anecdotes. Sounds like a great start, and it was. Where I was disappointed was in the names of the two male characters, and in the lack of action. You told, not showed, but had you showed the action I would have loved reading it, and awarded this six stars, for certain.
The narrative was too long before the dialogue began. You could have woven both together to make this a much more exciting read. So the story should have started with dialogue, maybe Hannibal meeting up with Dexter (although, once again, more original names would have made this much better. Why copy known television and movie characters when you can make your own. How about Cecil and Wayne? I always thought those names sounded sinister.LOL).
Then, after mixing your wonderful narrative with dialogue, seeing Cecil and Wayne abduct the baby killer after the show, and feed her to a snake would have made this one a keeper for me.
Just a suggestion or two, which I hope you'll take. Thanks for posting, and good luck in the contest.
Christian
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Hi,
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this. The tone of your narrative was very haughty and elitist sounding, which contrasted well with the subject. So, bravo, this was written well.
I loved the idea, as well, a secret society of murderers who meet to trade anecdotes. Sounds like a great start, and it was. Where I was disappointed was in the names of the two male characters, and in the lack of action. You told, not showed, but had you showed the action I would have loved reading it, and awarded this six stars, for certain.
The narrative was too long before the dialogue began. You could have woven both together to make this a much more exciting read. So the story should have started with dialogue, maybe Hannibal meeting up with Dexter (although, once again, more original names would have made this much better. Why copy known television and movie characters when you can make your own. How about Cecil and Wayne? I always thought those names sounded sinister.LOL).
Then, after mixing your wonderful narrative with dialogue, seeing Cecil and Wayne abduct the baby killer after the show, and feed her to a snake would have made this one a keeper for me.
Just a suggestion or two, which I hope you'll take. Thanks for posting, and good luck in the contest.
Christian
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from joann r romei
This was short and sweet, a bit creepy too, I know who those characters are and they give me the creeps, what psycho thought of this prompt anyway.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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This was short and sweet, a bit creepy too, I know who those characters are and they give me the creeps, what psycho thought of this prompt anyway.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from BunnyS
Wow, can't say I have ever read anything like this before. You definitely take the cake for being clever! I was a bit grossed out, but then it is supposed to come with the territory, so you did your job very well. Well written and very creative!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Wow, can't say I have ever read anything like this before. You definitely take the cake for being clever! I was a bit grossed out, but then it is supposed to come with the territory, so you did your job very well. Well written and very creative!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Gungalo
A meeting of the minds you might say. Hannibal was one gruesome killer in that he did eat his victims body parts. Their little party later in the room with the baby killer sounds delicious.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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A meeting of the minds you might say. Hannibal was one gruesome killer in that he did eat his victims body parts. Their little party later in the room with the baby killer sounds delicious.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thanks for reading and for the generous review.
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Great story you.
