Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Cast of Characters"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
34 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
A tour de force of hilarity! Priceless.
smoke and [whips=>WISPS] of gray
our new residence and the [poeple=>PEOPLE] who surrounded us.
Our new living quarters on the second floor [was=>WERE] accessed by
the main downstairs living quarters [was=>WERE] rented by a family with three unruly children, WHO dressed like street [unchins=>URCHINS].
he kept the children and made jewelry from rocks COMMA which he polished in a tumbler.
Audrey was a young [women=>WOMAN]
[highwire=>HIGH WIRE]
After we'd lived in the apartment a couple years, around two a.m. ONE NIGHT we were awakened by the smell of smoke.
The light in the hall gave [of=>OFF] an eerie, reddish glare.
alcoholic friend, Philip, coughing and [grasping=>GASPING] for breath.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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A tour de force of hilarity! Priceless.
smoke and [whips=>WISPS] of gray
our new residence and the [poeple=>PEOPLE] who surrounded us.
Our new living quarters on the second floor [was=>WERE] accessed by
the main downstairs living quarters [was=>WERE] rented by a family with three unruly children, WHO dressed like street [unchins=>URCHINS].
he kept the children and made jewelry from rocks COMMA which he polished in a tumbler.
Audrey was a young [women=>WOMAN]
[highwire=>HIGH WIRE]
After we'd lived in the apartment a couple years, around two a.m. ONE NIGHT we were awakened by the smell of smoke.
The light in the hall gave [of=>OFF] an eerie, reddish glare.
alcoholic friend, Philip, coughing and [grasping=>GASPING] for breath.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much for a great review and for finding all those errors. I could have sworn I'd corrected some of those but I must have failed to hit save. I do appreciate it. I'm glad you found it funny.
Beth
Comment from Ric Myworld
So many characters in this world, and the quickest way to meet them is in an apartment house. It can be an adjustment and hard on the nerves when they start trying to burn it down. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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So many characters in this world, and the quickest way to meet them is in an apartment house. It can be an adjustment and hard on the nerves when they start trying to burn it down. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Ric for another nice review. There are all kinds of people in the world and they are all different and all have their unque tales to tell. I guess that is what makes life interesting.
Beth
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
You sure did have a cast of characters at your apartment building! It actually sounds more like a boarding house, than an apartment building -- and I know, because I lived in a boarding house, for a short time. That was really a close call you all had, with the burning mattress. I actually had a neighbor with one of those in my boarding house, also -- very scary!
My list of suggestions:
Awakening at two a.m. to smell of smoke and whips of gray seeping from beneath our door leading into our hallway exit ...
-->
Awakening at two a.m. to the smell of smoke and wisps of gray seeping from beneath our door, leading into our hallway exit, ...
but first a bit about our new residence and the poeple, who surrounded us.
-->
but first a bit about our new residence and the people who surrounded us.
On the other side of wide hallway was another apartment very much like ours.
-->
On the other side of a wide hallway was another apartment very much like ours.
The retired minister, who owned the house, died a shortly after we moved in.
-->
The retired minister, who owned the house, died shortly after we moved in.
His crippled wife went to live with one of her children,
-->
His disabled wife went to live with one of her children,
was rented by a family, with three unruly children, dressed like street unchins.
-->
was rented by a family with three unruly children, dressed like street urchins.
... and collapsing the wet plaster onto his family, while they were having dinner wasn't a pretty scene.
-->
... and collapsing the wet plaster onto his family, while they were having dinner, wasn't a pretty scene.
He had sustained and brain injury in service leaving him unable to work.
-->
He had sustained a brain injury in the service, leaving him unable to work.
... who definitely fit in the "Character" classification, looked to be in his late twenties.
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... who definitely fit in the "character" classification, appeared to be in his late twenties.
He came upstairs regularly, before I left for class and banged on my door.
-->
He came upstairs regularly, before I left for class, and banged on my door.
I'd find him clutching his head and asking if he could borrow an asperin,
-->
I'd find him clutching his head and asking if he could borrow an aspirin,
... including how many times he'd had tried to commit suicide and had failed.
-->
... including how many times he'd tried to commit suicide and had failed.
... since his family had once owed one.
-->
... since his family had once owned one.
A dishevelved white-haired lady emerged from her apartment ...
-->
A disheveled white-haired lady emerged from her apartment ...
Each time I went over to return her dish. I'd find her sitting cross-legged in the middle of the un-made bed playing solitaire.
-->
Each time I went over to return her dish, I'd find her sitting cross-legged in the middle of the unmade bed playing solitaire.
Nothing terrified either of us more than the idea of a firey death.
-->
Nothing terrified either of us more than the idea of a fiery death.
and sirens announced they were already in route.
-->
and sirens announced they were already en route.
***
Your "young alcoholic friend" actually doesn't sound much younger than you were. I guess Evan was a bit older, but I think you were still in your early twenties. You two were just much more mature, and well adjusted, than some of the people around you. Having God in your lives -- that can make all the difference.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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You sure did have a cast of characters at your apartment building! It actually sounds more like a boarding house, than an apartment building -- and I know, because I lived in a boarding house, for a short time. That was really a close call you all had, with the burning mattress. I actually had a neighbor with one of those in my boarding house, also -- very scary!
My list of suggestions:
Awakening at two a.m. to smell of smoke and whips of gray seeping from beneath our door leading into our hallway exit ...
-->
Awakening at two a.m. to the smell of smoke and wisps of gray seeping from beneath our door, leading into our hallway exit, ...
but first a bit about our new residence and the poeple, who surrounded us.
-->
but first a bit about our new residence and the people who surrounded us.
On the other side of wide hallway was another apartment very much like ours.
-->
On the other side of a wide hallway was another apartment very much like ours.
The retired minister, who owned the house, died a shortly after we moved in.
-->
The retired minister, who owned the house, died shortly after we moved in.
His crippled wife went to live with one of her children,
-->
His disabled wife went to live with one of her children,
was rented by a family, with three unruly children, dressed like street unchins.
-->
was rented by a family with three unruly children, dressed like street urchins.
... and collapsing the wet plaster onto his family, while they were having dinner wasn't a pretty scene.
-->
... and collapsing the wet plaster onto his family, while they were having dinner, wasn't a pretty scene.
He had sustained and brain injury in service leaving him unable to work.
-->
He had sustained a brain injury in the service, leaving him unable to work.
... who definitely fit in the "Character" classification, looked to be in his late twenties.
-->
... who definitely fit in the "character" classification, appeared to be in his late twenties.
He came upstairs regularly, before I left for class and banged on my door.
-->
He came upstairs regularly, before I left for class, and banged on my door.
I'd find him clutching his head and asking if he could borrow an asperin,
-->
I'd find him clutching his head and asking if he could borrow an aspirin,
... including how many times he'd had tried to commit suicide and had failed.
-->
... including how many times he'd tried to commit suicide and had failed.
... since his family had once owed one.
-->
... since his family had once owned one.
A dishevelved white-haired lady emerged from her apartment ...
-->
A disheveled white-haired lady emerged from her apartment ...
Each time I went over to return her dish. I'd find her sitting cross-legged in the middle of the un-made bed playing solitaire.
-->
Each time I went over to return her dish, I'd find her sitting cross-legged in the middle of the unmade bed playing solitaire.
Nothing terrified either of us more than the idea of a firey death.
-->
Nothing terrified either of us more than the idea of a fiery death.
and sirens announced they were already in route.
-->
and sirens announced they were already en route.
***
Your "young alcoholic friend" actually doesn't sound much younger than you were. I guess Evan was a bit older, but I think you were still in your early twenties. You two were just much more mature, and well adjusted, than some of the people around you. Having God in your lives -- that can make all the difference.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and wonderful help. There were a lot of mistakes. Only two or three had been corrected before I got your review. You are the best I was 20 at the time and Evan was 28. Philip was in our age range. Not long after we moved. I heard he had died. I don't whether or not he killed himself. Sad.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Beth. I'm glad I could make a difference.
Wow! You got married super-young. You must have loved Evan very much.
That poor, young alcoholic neighbor -- yes, it's likely he either killed himself or stumbled to his death. He was living dangerously. It's so very sad.
God bless you, my friend.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Ben Colder
Sound as if a nice place turned into a nuthouse. Thank God you guys got out of that mess. The older woman sounded interesting. I am ready to hear more about your adventures living.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Sound as if a nice place turned into a nuthouse. Thank God you guys got out of that mess. The older woman sounded interesting. I am ready to hear more about your adventures living.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Chuck. We stayed there, until I got pregnant and we desided to give up renting and buy our on house. Evan was making payment on the house his folks were living in. Once we didn't have that debt, we were able to get a loan to buy our own house.
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Good deal. You kids were like many of us starting.
Comment from royowen
Your second apartment living sounds really interesting with a wide variety of interesting characters as fellow residents, I can remember doing something similar when younger, smoking and falling asleep, fortunately it was only a small burn hole, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : He had sustained a(nd) brain injury.2: : Borrow an (asperin) aspirin?
3: tell me of (his) many maladies. 4: like some kind (of) bird.A (firey) death. Fiery?
6: portion of (t)he house.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Your second apartment living sounds really interesting with a wide variety of interesting characters as fellow residents, I can remember doing something similar when younger, smoking and falling asleep, fortunately it was only a small burn hole, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : He had sustained a(nd) brain injury.2: : Borrow an (asperin) aspirin?
3: tell me of (his) many maladies. 4: like some kind (of) bird.A (firey) death. Fiery?
6: portion of (t)he house.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much Roy. I really appreciate the review and for you pointing out all the errors you found.
Beth
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Well done
Comment from Jasmine Girl
It's the advantage of living in an apartment where you can meet young woman in mini-skirt, drunks and Miss Jack. I'm glad you two survived the fire. It's so cheap back then, $55 per month. What a deal.
Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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It's the advantage of living in an apartment where you can meet young woman in mini-skirt, drunks and Miss Jack. I'm glad you two survived the fire. It's so cheap back then, $55 per month. What a deal.
Well done.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thanks for the review. The rent seems cheap but salaries were low. It is all relative. When you remember wages were !.00 an hour, you'd have to work 55 hours to pay the rent if you only made mininum wage.
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Yes. I was in China and making 60 Chinese yen per month which is about $10. That was in 1983 when I first started working.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Think you mean whisps of smoke not whips of smoke?
"died a shortly" should be died shortly
The joys of the different characters one encounteers in apartment living.
Bio remains interesting as always.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Think you mean whisps of smoke not whips of smoke?
"died a shortly" should be died shortly
The joys of the different characters one encounteers in apartment living.
Bio remains interesting as always.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you Brett, I appreciate the review and I'm glad you saw the spags and pointed them out.
Beth
Comment from Mrs Jones
ed playing Solitaire She'd (period after solitaire.
After we'd lived in the apartment a couple years, around 2 a.m. (one morning, around 2am.... suggestion.
I like the suttle humour in this write, Beth. I enjoyed this very entertaining story.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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ed playing Solitaire She'd (period after solitaire.
After we'd lived in the apartment a couple years, around 2 a.m. (one morning, around 2am.... suggestion.
I like the suttle humour in this write, Beth. I enjoyed this very entertaining story.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hi Rose, Thanks for the great review and for spotting the edits.
I've fixed them. I'm glad you saw the humour. I wasn't sure if there was enough to list it as humor.
Beth
Comment from Samuel Dickens
Smoking in bed--well that's never caused a fire, huh? Just one more reason not to smoke. I think your use of the word "colorful" certainly describes those folks.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Smoking in bed--well that's never caused a fire, huh? Just one more reason not to smoke. I think your use of the word "colorful" certainly describes those folks.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I appreciate your reading this.
Beth
Comment from James Chaima Phiri
You are good at narrating your Biographical Non-Fiction story.
This was a film and you did well to give your story the title of; 'A cast of characters'! It is interesting to note that the lady across the hall only received male visitors. Does it mean her church had no ladies of her age or even older than her? I have also noted that these men never left her home till morning. Well, may be she used to cry or weep or sob so much at night that the visitor had no choice but to provide the tender loving care she so badly missed. Miss Jack was a special character. The young alcoholic friend was simply a mess. Didn't he know the importance of having a glass of water in his room? Under the Author's Notes I have noted this: '... but the style 'if' very much like it.'
(I feel it should be;'is'). I have enjoyed reading this story. At some point I even laughed aloud. Thank you.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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You are good at narrating your Biographical Non-Fiction story.
This was a film and you did well to give your story the title of; 'A cast of characters'! It is interesting to note that the lady across the hall only received male visitors. Does it mean her church had no ladies of her age or even older than her? I have also noted that these men never left her home till morning. Well, may be she used to cry or weep or sob so much at night that the visitor had no choice but to provide the tender loving care she so badly missed. Miss Jack was a special character. The young alcoholic friend was simply a mess. Didn't he know the importance of having a glass of water in his room? Under the Author's Notes I have noted this: '... but the style 'if' very much like it.'
(I feel it should be;'is'). I have enjoyed reading this story. At some point I even laughed aloud. Thank you.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you James. I really appreciate your review and comments. Thanks for pointing out the misspelling in the Author Notes.
I'm glad you liked this and found some humor there.
Beth
