Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "Oh, Water"My thoughts about t
15 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Lovely photo, my friend
good alliteration in crazy composition
I like the cadence of this poem
love the drips/rains list and the drink/swim/paddle list
wonderful childlike quality in the tootsies/wiggle passage
good calm/balm rhyme
Good repetition in the closing
This is absolutely delightful in its celebration :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Lovely photo, my friend
good alliteration in crazy composition
I like the cadence of this poem
love the drips/rains list and the drink/swim/paddle list
wonderful childlike quality in the tootsies/wiggle passage
good calm/balm rhyme
Good repetition in the closing
This is absolutely delightful in its celebration :-) Brooke
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you Brooke. You made me smile!
Comment from 9999pool
Splashing and giggling in the water, we can see the joy that water brings.
Without water, life cannot sustain and maintain.
Along with the happy moments of water are also the sad ones - Katrina is still clearly entrenched in our minds and the great flood that engulfed Japan when the tsunami came.
The good and the bad will always be there. Before the wrath of the water takes another life, let us rejoice in its miracle until all the water dried up inside our bodies as we greet our demise, smiles.
Excellent muse about water and the joy it brings.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2013
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Splashing and giggling in the water, we can see the joy that water brings.
Without water, life cannot sustain and maintain.
Along with the happy moments of water are also the sad ones - Katrina is still clearly entrenched in our minds and the great flood that engulfed Japan when the tsunami came.
The good and the bad will always be there. Before the wrath of the water takes another life, let us rejoice in its miracle until all the water dried up inside our bodies as we greet our demise, smiles.
Excellent muse about water and the joy it brings.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2013
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Thank you Ritchie. Yes, there are often two sides to a coin.
Comment from Ekim777
Whether river, lake or sea water between banks or any body of water might be the symbol of birth, life and death. It symbolizes the beginning of all things. It is written so succinctly in Genesis. I can't resist quoting.(Freely quoted
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth/
And the earth was formed and darkness was over the face of the earth./And he spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters/ Then God said, let there be light..." Simplicity is often the best expression of things but I like your words and images.-Ekim777
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2013
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Whether river, lake or sea water between banks or any body of water might be the symbol of birth, life and death. It symbolizes the beginning of all things. It is written so succinctly in Genesis. I can't resist quoting.(Freely quoted
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth/
And the earth was formed and darkness was over the face of the earth./And he spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters/ Then God said, let there be light..." Simplicity is often the best expression of things but I like your words and images.-Ekim777
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2013
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Thank you Ekim777. Your spiritual words are very well said. Without water, there is no life. You brought me peace in you words.
Comment from kelly frederick
This was a cute refreshing poem. It made me feel like I was a child again and Dad was turning on the sprinklers for fun. You captured a simple thing like water and made it living.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2013
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This was a cute refreshing poem. It made me feel like I was a child again and Dad was turning on the sprinklers for fun. You captured a simple thing like water and made it living.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2013
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Thank you Kelly. I'm glad you captured the feel of it that I intended, light and playful.
Comment from barkingdog
Your poem moves quickly down the page like a swift stream. It was as enjoyable as running the rapids in a rubber raft or canoeing on a flowing river.
You capture the sense in your descriptive verbs. I like the 'tootsies...wiggle in it'
And I like the'w' consonance and alliteration(crazy composition) in and repetition of the following stanza:
Water in my body,
Water in my soul,
A crazy composition
That keeps me whole.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Your poem moves quickly down the page like a swift stream. It was as enjoyable as running the rapids in a rubber raft or canoeing on a flowing river.
You capture the sense in your descriptive verbs. I like the 'tootsies...wiggle in it'
And I like the'w' consonance and alliteration(crazy composition) in and repetition of the following stanza:
Water in my body,
Water in my soul,
A crazy composition
That keeps me whole.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thank you baking dog, running rapids in canoe, rubber raft, and kayak is one of my favorite activities, so I am so happy you mentioned that. Oh to be be young again!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful free style poem about the way you have a symbiotic relationship with the water. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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this is very well written, treischel, you did an excellent job writing this beautiful free style poem about the way you have a symbiotic relationship with the water. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thank you sweetwoodjax.
Comment from Gungalo
Water in my body,
Water in my soul,
A crazy composition
That keeps me whole.
Yeah he promoted it!!! Good free style Tom. It's really got a lot of water references here. Wonderful story of water and you.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Water in my body,
Water in my soul,
A crazy composition
That keeps me whole.
Yeah he promoted it!!! Good free style Tom. It's really got a lot of water references here. Wonderful story of water and you.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you Gungalo. I do that when I can.
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Thank goodness Tom.
Comment from Joan E.
I liked your description of the free style as a form carrying rhymes. I enjoyed your example in this ode to water, along with its circularity for emphasis. Cheers and hope your new week is productive- Joan
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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I liked your description of the free style as a form carrying rhymes. I enjoyed your example in this ode to water, along with its circularity for emphasis. Cheers and hope your new week is productive- Joan
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you Joan. So far losing at everything I've entered, :-)
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I only enter FS contests on the assumption that more folks will read my work and I will improve my writing as a result of their reviews. Keep sharing, my friend- Joan
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Good thought. I'll remember that.
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I'm always pleased to get one or two votes. Sweet dreams. ;) -Joan
Comment from Selina Stambi
Primal-like reaction .. suggest: primeval
Water does set this poet free .... I can see!
Love the exhilaration and the joyful mood of this poem.
Like the first and last stanzas creating a mirror, "sandwich" effect.
Tootsies .... from the sublime to the ...toes!!:)
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Primal-like reaction .. suggest: primeval
Water does set this poet free .... I can see!
Love the exhilaration and the joyful mood of this poem.
Like the first and last stanzas creating a mirror, "sandwich" effect.
Tootsies .... from the sublime to the ...toes!!:)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Thank you again Sonali, tried to make it light.
Comment from Robin Gilmor
A lovely Ode. Wonderful composition that guides the reader smoothly through your verse. Good rhythm and rhyme. Love your picture, as always. Good use of the soothing blue (water ) color. Refreshing to read. Smiles, Robin :)
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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A lovely Ode. Wonderful composition that guides the reader smoothly through your verse. Good rhythm and rhyme. Love your picture, as always. Good use of the soothing blue (water ) color. Refreshing to read. Smiles, Robin :)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2013
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Thank you Robin. I so appreciate your support.
