Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 76 "Look Both Ways!"My thoughts about t
21 total reviews
Comment from patsolstad
This is quite wonderful. I love the structure, which you've executed so well. Yours will be getting my vote in the contest. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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This is quite wonderful. I love the structure, which you've executed so well. Yours will be getting my vote in the contest. Best of luck!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you patsolstad. I appreciate it.
Comment from RYME4U
Very nicely done. I like this exhortation style. You have done it with perfection.The rhymes are good and the topic is carried well throughout the poem, Good job!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Very nicely done. I like this exhortation style. You have done it with perfection.The rhymes are good and the topic is carried well throughout the poem, Good job!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you Rhym4U.
Comment from persevere
This is an excellent admonition poem. It is the first time I have been exposed to a twelve line exhortation. Sometimes when one has to find that rhyming word one just chooses a random one but all yours are relevant and so descriptive. What is more your admonition is applicable to many a scene in a hectic lifestyle.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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This is an excellent admonition poem. It is the first time I have been exposed to a twelve line exhortation. Sometimes when one has to find that rhyming word one just chooses a random one but all yours are relevant and so descriptive. What is more your admonition is applicable to many a scene in a hectic lifestyle.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thank you much persevere.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hello, Poet
What a clever poem! I enjoyed reading it this evening.
Your end rhyme pattern is effective and adds to the quality
of the read. You've blended the right amount of humor
and wisdom. Thoughtful reading and good advice.
Thanks for sharing
Ray
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Hello, Poet
What a clever poem! I enjoyed reading it this evening.
Your end rhyme pattern is effective and adds to the quality
of the read. You've blended the right amount of humor
and wisdom. Thoughtful reading and good advice.
Thanks for sharing
Ray
Comment Written 16-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much Ray. Sounds like I hit home well. I appreciate the comments.
Comment from ravenblack
It's what I tell my daughter every day- she never looks. Can't tell you how many times I have had to pull her back from stepping in the path of a car. And she'll be driving in 3 years ( yikes). 3rd line- flurry should be a flurry.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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It's what I tell my daughter every day- she never looks. Can't tell you how many times I have had to pull her back from stepping in the path of a car. And she'll be driving in 3 years ( yikes). 3rd line- flurry should be a flurry.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thank you ravenblak . That would throw my meter off.
Comment from adewpearl
I like the cadence created by this form.
Strong rhymes, too.
good use of enjambment to keep the ideas flowing from line to line
I particularly like the line - don't be lost in fool's perplexion in this cautionary tale :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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I like the cadence created by this form.
Strong rhymes, too.
good use of enjambment to keep the ideas flowing from line to line
I particularly like the line - don't be lost in fool's perplexion in this cautionary tale :-) Brooke
Comment Written 16-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thank you Brooke. That is a wonderful review.
Comment from Rmocruz
Consider me exhorted. Syllable count, rhyme scheme and caps.
correct to exhortation format. This is clever and clear in message, excluding the stuff on a windshield.
A worthy contest entry.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Consider me exhorted. Syllable count, rhyme scheme and caps.
correct to exhortation format. This is clever and clear in message, excluding the stuff on a windshield.
A worthy contest entry.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thank you Rmocruz. Glad you could be exhorted.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very good! I loved the fact that you used safety yellow as the background color for this wonderful piece. Smart move!
We tell our kids this sort of thing every single day when they're younger. "Be sure to look both ways before crossing the street..." But it said in much, much better here, in an admonitions, 12 Line Exhortation poem. I can see this being posted in grade school all across the country as a vinyl placard, or made into a bookmarker for kids.
Great job!
Oh yeah, that picture? Friggin' hilarious...
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Very good! I loved the fact that you used safety yellow as the background color for this wonderful piece. Smart move!
We tell our kids this sort of thing every single day when they're younger. "Be sure to look both ways before crossing the street..." But it said in much, much better here, in an admonitions, 12 Line Exhortation poem. I can see this being posted in grade school all across the country as a vinyl placard, or made into a bookmarker for kids.
Great job!
Oh yeah, that picture? Friggin' hilarious...
Comment Written 16-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thank you Dean. Your enthusiasm is amazing.
Comment from Gungalo
Wow it's high time you put some money on this one. LOL it's a great style and wonderful to read. Fun to begin and end a write with the same thing.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Wow it's high time you put some money on this one. LOL it's a great style and wonderful to read. Fun to begin and end a write with the same thing.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2013
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Thanks Gungalo. I appreciate your comments.
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Smile.
Comment from words
Love this compact little verse that packs a punch.
You brought back many childhood memories with this exhortation ... I was raised on: "look both ways" , "never talk to strangers", "always wear clean underwear" and "don't date sailors". LOL
Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Love this compact little verse that packs a punch.
You brought back many childhood memories with this exhortation ... I was raised on: "look both ways" , "never talk to strangers", "always wear clean underwear" and "don't date sailors". LOL
Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2013
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Hah! I recognize all those too. Thank you, words, for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it very much.
