Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

When the senile moon LOVE 'senile'
Goes on melting in the sky 'melting'
Night sings lullaby. Wonderful sense of peace

Well done. Meets all strictures

Regards:

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013

Oh! Do you really love the word 'senile'?I think you are the first one to like senile..
Thank you so much for your excellent review..

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 23-Jul-2013

Alliteration strikes 'WhEN SEN ile..' Got it?
No problem. Welcome to the world wide FS family. May you prosper as I and others have.

Hugs: Steve C

PS: Check out 'Con sid er able Mr. Brown' Parts 1 and 2.

Comment from gene roush

Excellent

This is nice.
I'm constantly amazed by a poets ability to create an image with so few words, bound by the limitations of demanding schemes.
I especially like the image of the moon,"melting in the sky".
Thanks for sharing
Gene

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013

Thank you so much for your kind review..

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is a good poem and a great rhyming sequence it flows and little poems tend not to good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013

Thank you so much for your kind review.

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Wonderful imagery in this. The line about the melting moon really popped with the picture choice. I liked the flow and the image of the lullaby in your work. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thank you so much for your kind review.

Comment from Jane Johnson

Excellent

Nicely written verse. So much said in few syllables. The words flowed well and made sense. I like the artwork you chose to compliment your verse. I never thought of the moon melting in the sky, but I guess one could think of it that way. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thank you so much for your kind review.

Comment from elchupakabra

Excellent

I love this little haiku. It's very well written and reads almost like a song lyric, yet in it's shortness and simplicity still manages to be thought provoking. Even though the topic is seemingly generic, it does an excellent job of taking the reader beyond just thinking, yeah the moon looks nice. Very well done.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Oh! Thank you so much for the kind review and I am glad that you like my poem..

Comment from Steve Pantazis

Excellent

I like everything about the 5-7-5 except the use of "melting". I think I understand what you are trying to accomplish, which is to reference the image you used and say its a waning gibbous moon. However, the term acted like a road bump while reading. Anyway, it's just one man's opinion. Other than that, nice work.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thanks for your review.

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

This 5-7-5 Poetry contest entry is very creative and causes the reader to pause and reflect on what a "senile moon" looks and acts like and how peaceful a lullaby relaxes and melts our anxiety. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thanks for your kind review.

Comment from steevie

Excellent

The moon is awake but is soon asleep when the night sings a lullaby. I imagined that the moon wanted to stay out longer than it should so it took gentle persuasion to make it disappear ... I'm totally guessing here ... it's all I could think of ... sorry!

steve

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013

Thanks for your review.

Comment from Caressa_08

Excellent

Senile moon,meaning an old moon, I believe,...Yes, melting, & nighttime, is the time for a lullaby....Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013

Thank you so much for your kind review.I appreciate it.