The Night
This poem describes the mysterious beauty and magical music of the night.139 total reviews
Comment from colow_201185
You didn't need many words to get that point across. The picture also allows you to melt into the words as well. Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
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You didn't need many words to get that point across. The picture also allows you to melt into the words as well. Good job.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2013
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Hi,
Thank you so much for this great review.I appreciate it.
Comment from sunnilicious
You're hilarious. Good perspective presented. Well thought out and clearly written in the haiku format. It is creative with great visual imagery. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2013
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You're hilarious. Good perspective presented. Well thought out and clearly written in the haiku format. It is creative with great visual imagery. Excellent work.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this great review.I am glad that you read my poem and liked it.I appreciate it a lot. Thanks again.
Comment from Imadeany
Perfectly lovely and evocative. I wonder if there is a more descriptive word for the moon than senile unless you mean it in a geologic sense as the end of a cycle or an erosion. If that is it, it didn't work for me until I looked up the meaning. Guess that is good because the use of the word caused me to see the moon in a different light. Knowing the geologic meaning of senile gives the poem even more dimension and depth. Thanks for opening the door on that.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Perfectly lovely and evocative. I wonder if there is a more descriptive word for the moon than senile unless you mean it in a geologic sense as the end of a cycle or an erosion. If that is it, it didn't work for me until I looked up the meaning. Guess that is good because the use of the word caused me to see the moon in a different light. Knowing the geologic meaning of senile gives the poem even more dimension and depth. Thanks for opening the door on that.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for reading my little poem and thanks so much for the thoughtful review.I appreciate it a lot.Thanks again.
Comment from JMHallmark
I enjoyed the rhythm and lilt of this 5-7-5 poem . It sang like a lullaby and evoked memories of late night gazing into the waning night and being soothed by the night lights in the sky as I drifted off to sleep. Thank you for a sweet and gently evocative poem. It was a very pleasant read.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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I enjoyed the rhythm and lilt of this 5-7-5 poem . It sang like a lullaby and evoked memories of late night gazing into the waning night and being soothed by the night lights in the sky as I drifted off to sleep. Thank you for a sweet and gently evocative poem. It was a very pleasant read.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely comment.I appreciate it a lot.
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's an interesting interpretation of the waning moon. It kind of does look like it's melting. The picture is perfect for this. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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That's an interesting interpretation of the waning moon. It kind of does look like it's melting. The picture is perfect for this. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the lovely review.
Comment from JeffreyVPerry
Good imagery, but I am not convinced to the overall concept. The poem seems more about the moon and less about night. You wrote, "the moon goes on melting in the sky," which is a great phrase, but the " goes on" is not strong. You could easily just say "melts into the sky" (plus two more syllables)to be direct. In a short poem as this you need to be very concise and clear.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Good imagery, but I am not convinced to the overall concept. The poem seems more about the moon and less about night. You wrote, "the moon goes on melting in the sky," which is a great phrase, but the " goes on" is not strong. You could easily just say "melts into the sky" (plus two more syllables)to be direct. In a short poem as this you need to be very concise and clear.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your suggestion.I appreciate it..And you have raised a good point about the title.
Though the poem speaks about the moon much still I gave the title 'The night' because I think moon is a part of night..we can see moon in the day also but it is prominent in the night..thats why I gave that title.
And I want one more suggestion from you,what should I write instead of 'goes on'?will you kindly tell me?
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from J R Muller
Nice work, hard to paint an image in three lines but you've done the job here....
When the senile moon
Goes on melting in the sky
Night sings lullaby.
Well done, I feel ready for bed now!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Nice work, hard to paint an image in three lines but you've done the job here....
When the senile moon
Goes on melting in the sky
Night sings lullaby.
Well done, I feel ready for bed now!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely review.It is much appreciated.
Comment from linsbm
Night is more splendid with the works of your write. I liked your satori line - 'Night sings lullaby'. Words are magical but does not rest there to capture the senses of readers on how it comes with the voice of the poet.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Night is more splendid with the works of your write. I liked your satori line - 'Night sings lullaby'. Words are magical but does not rest there to capture the senses of readers on how it comes with the voice of the poet.
Excellent!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely review and the six star rating.It means a lot.
I appreciate it a lot.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
The senile moon, I have never heard it called that before, it works well with the illustration. This is a well written 5-7-5 poem and with the picture, together they are a winner. xsx Sandra.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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The senile moon, I have never heard it called that before, it works well with the illustration. This is a well written 5-7-5 poem and with the picture, together they are a winner. xsx Sandra.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and rating.Appreciate it a lot.
Comment from mixmaster Q
Being on the older side of life,the moons such melting rings a personal bell and has me calmly thinking of my last lullabies.
It is all good--inspirations--we should all ponder in that ,not so dark,night sky.Q.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Being on the older side of life,the moons such melting rings a personal bell and has me calmly thinking of my last lullabies.
It is all good--inspirations--we should all ponder in that ,not so dark,night sky.Q.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this great positive review and rating.Appreciate it.
