All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Not, Not, NOT!"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
51 total reviews
Comment from GregoryCody
Yours was clever. It was written with intelligence and creativity. Hmm. Hard to explain. Okay, let me try; your poem came across with style, rapid flow, cascading down the page. I actually found myself being "pulled" into reading at a faster tempo at times as if I were on an actual ride while I was reading. Your flow is unique and very strong. Seriously, it pulled me. Never have felt that. Your word choices are also deliberate. "Gianter".
Bottom line...You can tell by the incredible flow, alliteration, onomonopia, kinetic energy and deliberate word choices, that this was written by an established poet INSIDE a child's voice. That's the creative talent that shines through to me. As I said, I didn't read the other ones but this is tremendously done.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2013
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Yours was clever. It was written with intelligence and creativity. Hmm. Hard to explain. Okay, let me try; your poem came across with style, rapid flow, cascading down the page. I actually found myself being "pulled" into reading at a faster tempo at times as if I were on an actual ride while I was reading. Your flow is unique and very strong. Seriously, it pulled me. Never have felt that. Your word choices are also deliberate. "Gianter".
Bottom line...You can tell by the incredible flow, alliteration, onomonopia, kinetic energy and deliberate word choices, that this was written by an established poet INSIDE a child's voice. That's the creative talent that shines through to me. As I said, I didn't read the other ones but this is tremendously done.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2013
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oh that was sweet of you to review it Greg! :)S
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Well done poem from the pov of the child. Nice touch using your old picture. Your presentation of the poem is delightful and the repetition effective. Good luck in the contest~Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2013
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Well done poem from the pov of the child. Nice touch using your old picture. Your presentation of the poem is delightful and the repetition effective. Good luck in the contest~Debbie
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2013
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thx Debbie - didn't win this one, but fun writing! :)S
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The poem was thought provoking and made me smile. The poem flowed and connected well and the artwork
was perfect and enhanced the read.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Excellent Poem! The poem was thought provoking and made me smile. The poem flowed and connected well and the artwork
was perfect and enhanced the read.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thx so much my dear! :)S
Comment from Selina Stambi
Twinnie, dear, what a gorgeous children's poem!
The bravado and anxiety in the little voice just rang out with just the right touch of smiliness!
You actually transported me to my childhood when I got swallowed up by a large wave and honestly thought I was done for good!
LOVE the horror of what could happen as the shark's afternoon tea .... little, fat, juicy legs!!!
This is your unique style - makes me smile!
Hope you win, Twinnie! Hugs xx Sonali
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Twinnie, dear, what a gorgeous children's poem!
The bravado and anxiety in the little voice just rang out with just the right touch of smiliness!
You actually transported me to my childhood when I got swallowed up by a large wave and honestly thought I was done for good!
LOVE the horror of what could happen as the shark's afternoon tea .... little, fat, juicy legs!!!
This is your unique style - makes me smile!
Hope you win, Twinnie! Hugs xx Sonali
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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oh it's so easy for me to find a child's voice - guess I never grew up, hmm? Bless you dear, as always! :)S
Comment from robina1978
How nice a photo of you and you dad at this young age. I loved the poem, it is a real children one. When they are at the stage of denying and saying no. Great and original entry. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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How nice a photo of you and you dad at this young age. I loved the poem, it is a real children one. When they are at the stage of denying and saying no. Great and original entry. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thx so much Ine - I had fun with this one! :)S
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welcome Sharyn, Ine
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
well done for this Sharyn and i wish you luck for the contest - you surely raise the bar for these. sending best wishes eph and rianne carnation ;)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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well done for this Sharyn and i wish you luck for the contest - you surely raise the bar for these. sending best wishes eph and rianne carnation ;)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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blessings to you both my dears!!!! :)
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Everything is okay when dad is there to protect you from what ever might be dangerous. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Everything is okay when dad is there to protect you from what ever might be dangerous. Good luck in the prompt. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Thx so much Evelyn dear! :))Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
This poem is so alive and filled with emotionally charged feelings of fear denied, but another person inside that head says no. Love how capitalize some words and move the poem downward as if it were a rushing river. Yes, I know it's an ocean. Wonderful. I can definitely get my teeth into this. Les
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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This poem is so alive and filled with emotionally charged feelings of fear denied, but another person inside that head says no. Love how capitalize some words and move the poem downward as if it were a rushing river. Yes, I know it's an ocean. Wonderful. I can definitely get my teeth into this. Les
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Glad you enjoyed this little one Les! :)S
Comment from me_tudor
This was great. It was very visual. I was imagining you as a little girl being pulled out to sea and I was afraid. But, I'm glad it turned out okay since your dad had your hand.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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This was great. It was very visual. I was imagining you as a little girl being pulled out to sea and I was afraid. But, I'm glad it turned out okay since your dad had your hand.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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thx so much my dear! :)S
Comment from Taffspride
Truly a child's perspective Sharyn. What child could be frightened with daddy holding their hand?
I really like the way you have written this, the repetition of I'm not really adds punch. You can hear a child saying it.
Great job, good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Truly a child's perspective Sharyn. What child could be frightened with daddy holding their hand?
I really like the way you have written this, the repetition of I'm not really adds punch. You can hear a child saying it.
Great job, good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 09-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
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Bless you Ann! :))Sharyn