News
I hate News.21 total reviews
Comment from allborn66
This is a very good attempt at a 5-7-5 poem. The 5-7-5 does not refer to words, but syllables. I rewrote it with the same syllable count - I hope I captured what you wanted to convey.
When I watch the News
I find that I am confused
News is very loose
I really like the theme, I feel it is honest.
Barbara
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
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This is a very good attempt at a 5-7-5 poem. The 5-7-5 does not refer to words, but syllables. I rewrote it with the same syllable count - I hope I captured what you wanted to convey.
When I watch the News
I find that I am confused
News is very loose
I really like the theme, I feel it is honest.
Barbara
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
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thanks
Comment from MarjorieAnne
For a 4th grader, this is very good, and I agree with you about watching news programs. Your word "confuse" needs a "d" on the end. Next time you write a short poem, try not to use the same word more than once or twice.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
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For a 4th grader, this is very good, and I agree with you about watching news programs. Your word "confuse" needs a "d" on the end. Next time you write a short poem, try not to use the same word more than once or twice.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
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thanks
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You're welcome
Comment from Ric Myworld
You do a great job! And don't worry about getting confused about the news, the people who make it, and the people who write it, are more confused than you.
Thanks for the nice read!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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You do a great job! And don't worry about getting confused about the news, the people who make it, and the people who write it, are more confused than you.
Thanks for the nice read!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Thanks
Comment from 9999pool
Watching news can be a headache. There are many versions to the story in any channel.
We have to hope for the best that what was heard is true, accurate and to the detail.
There are no assurances that the news is truthful and without error. Give what we hear on the news the benefit of a doubt is better. Tragic events make great news and so news at most times are depressive and delusional.
Good write and have a great day.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Watching news can be a headache. There are many versions to the story in any channel.
We have to hope for the best that what was heard is true, accurate and to the detail.
There are no assurances that the news is truthful and without error. Give what we hear on the news the benefit of a doubt is better. Tragic events make great news and so news at most times are depressive and delusional.
Good write and have a great day.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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thanks
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Welcome. My pleasure.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Have a great and lovely weekend.
Comment from EMB
Yeah, I can relate to this. That's why I receive most of my news second-hand. (My wife usually informs me of big things because I'm not a news hound.)
Great little poem, in my opinion. :)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Yeah, I can relate to this. That's why I receive most of my news second-hand. (My wife usually informs me of big things because I'm not a news hound.)
Great little poem, in my opinion. :)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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thanks
Comment from ravenblack
Very short and as such, there is really no room for errors. Confuse should be confused. Also, the first line should be one thought and not carry over. I'll say one thing- you capture the confusing nature of the news.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Very short and as such, there is really no room for errors. Confuse should be confused. Also, the first line should be one thought and not carry over. I'll say one thing- you capture the confusing nature of the news.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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ok i will try again
Comment from RGstar
Ok Adi...quite a catching little piece and a catch 5-7-5.
But I can't help but think there is a small mistake you should rectify, even if it was considered on purpose. The verb
'Confuse' should have a 'd' on the end to allow it to be past tense, unless of course you take the 'am' away. Maybe it is part of the ploy to base the mistake on confusion from the news, that the writing portrays the action of confusion, which means I fully understand so no need to change it, if it is part of the make up of the piece. But , let me tell you, it may CONFUSE a few people :).
A great piece, despite the confusion. :)
Good luck with this.
RGstar
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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Ok Adi...quite a catching little piece and a catch 5-7-5.
But I can't help but think there is a small mistake you should rectify, even if it was considered on purpose. The verb
'Confuse' should have a 'd' on the end to allow it to be past tense, unless of course you take the 'am' away. Maybe it is part of the ploy to base the mistake on confusion from the news, that the writing portrays the action of confusion, which means I fully understand so no need to change it, if it is part of the make up of the piece. But , let me tell you, it may CONFUSE a few people :).
A great piece, despite the confusion. :)
Good luck with this.
RGstar
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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thanks
Comment from gazzagodbod
hmm has the makings of a great poem i think you meant confused rather than confuse and i agree news can indeed be confusing xxgazzaxx
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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hmm has the makings of a great poem i think you meant confused rather than confuse and i agree news can indeed be confusing xxgazzaxx
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2013
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thanks
Comment from lakeport
news, indeed it is mostly depressing now a days,crimes, wars
etc..a truly expressed 5.7.5 poem,thanks for sharing it.God bless you. Lakeport.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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news, indeed it is mostly depressing now a days,crimes, wars
etc..a truly expressed 5.7.5 poem,thanks for sharing it.God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Thanks
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your welcome,Lakeport.
Comment from Shelby~thePoet
Hi Adi, I see this is maybe your first poem, I have some advice to help. confuse(d) and try to use another word to compliment News, Very used twice is just not as poetic as would like to see. best of luck and I know it is hard to write poetry.
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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Hi Adi, I see this is maybe your first poem, I have some advice to help. confuse(d) and try to use another word to compliment News, Very used twice is just not as poetic as would like to see. best of luck and I know it is hard to write poetry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2013
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Ok I will try
