Reviews from

I Choose Rainbows

Viewing comments for Chapter 206 "Aftermath"
Thoughts from the dark side

6 total reviews 
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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Oh, this is a dark piece - and I can sense exactly, the spirit that gave birth to this well written, albeit disturbing poem.

I've been there!

I hope you dark days are done, my friend and that your morning of joy has come.

You gave me such a wonderful review, I thought I'd pop in and say hello.

Welcome to Fanstory, sholess and nice to meet you! :)

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
    It is nice meeting you. Thank you for the nice review. This is one of my darker poems from my days, years, of depression. Things are better now.

    Norm
reply by Selina Stambi on 28-Jun-2013
    So glad you to hear that. Bless you! :)
    Sonali
Comment from Kiki12
Excellent
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Tremendously emotive. Dark but intense imagery. There is no ambiguity here as one looks on from another plane as their body is destroyed by things around it. A sense of hopelessness and loss. Depression very much has this fatalistic effect where you watch yourself decay and feel powerless to stop it. Giving in and giving up seem like the only option in such depths of darkness. Hopefully you have some help in the form of treatment and support.
As for the verse, the structure is very good. I would consider not capitalizing each line so it has a more connected and uninterrupted feel. Very well done.
Kiki

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
    Thank you for the excellent review, I am glad that the dark side of me is gone although I still have about a dozen depression poems to post.

    Norm
reply by Kiki12 on 27-Jun-2013
    Yep, that's usually the way it goes-I tend to post mine after the darkness lifts, just make an author's note so readers don't worry. Post away, my friend :)
Comment from Sam Mendonca
Excellent
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A very well written poem with great usage of descriptive and emotional wording from the writer.

The only suggestion I would have is maybe a photo to go along with the poem to give the reader an idea of the content of the poem.

Nicely done. :-)

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the revue. I am past my severe deprecesion and am listing a buch of poems from my dark days.

    Thanks,

    Norm
reply by Sam Mendonca on 26-Jun-2013
    That's good to hear. :-)
Comment from donette1914
Excellent
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wow this a dark detail after death, but just maybe it would be a beautiful and love ones there and bright flowers. very dark emotions well done

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the revue. I am listing a bunch of poems written at my time of full depression. They are grim.

    Norm
Comment from JeffreyVPerry
Average
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I do not envy this poem or poet. Your subject says little that we do not know already. And I question, "How did you know this?" I would hope that a dead body gets to lie in peace. Your writing of the morbid subject is as graceful as your subject.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013
    I am sorry you did not like it.
Comment from playinaround
Excellent
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Wow, this is something I haven't thought of before. Witnessing your own body as it rots in the ground. I am guessing the feeling would be anger. or lack of control. Great piece!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. It is dark.

    Norm